weaker

my dad has gotten weaker over the last 2 days. when i visited him these days, he could hardly speak. at most, he could whisper. this afternoon when i visited him with my mum at the hospital, he mumbled to me that he is dying soon. he was also too weak to sit up or move from bed to chair by himself already. his lower body has swollen to the point where fluid would flow out of any scratch wounds and would wet his pants...

sensing his impending departure, i started talking to my mum again about how my dad's condition was prolonging his suffering. without mentioning about death, i was, in a way, trying to get her to accept that perhaps death would mean an end to his suffering. nonetheless, i was surprised when my mum brought up the issue of death herself and said that looking at my dad's condition, she was convinced that he would be dying soon.

just 5 mins ago, my brother called to inform my mum that my dad was no longer able to move in his bed. he could also hardly open his eyes now. my mum said that it would perhaps be better for him to go quickly. this so that his suffering would not be prolonged. i could also sense her acceptance that my dad is leaving us very soon. for now, we will wait for the doctor to see him again tomorrow. let's see what he has to say.