reflecting mid-2016

it's mid-2016 and i think it is a useful time to consolidate what i had set out since the start of the year. here's a quick one.

personal life

> increase my focus to enrich my personal life and invest in more quality me-time

i have given myself the space-out time, i have given myself the space to do what i wanted to do and i have stretched my boundaries, but i remained aimless and it was, and still is, eating into me. this was made worst by the passing of sapphie. as of now, and together with work-related issues, things have to a point where i suffer insomnia and along with it comes all sorts of health issues. i need to find a sense of direction in my life again. 

bee

> do my part to rebuilt what was weakened over the pass years

it will take both hands to clap and i think there are more work to be done in this area.

sapphie

> continue to take good care of her

i use red for this para as sapphie passed away 22 march 2016 and thus bring an abrupt end to this guide for the year. her passing was another blow to my life just about 4 months after mum left me. it was especially bad for me as she left me when i was overseas. i have not gotten used to her absence as yet.

family

> nurture my niece and nephew

similar to the above, i used red for this para as i consider this a closed chapter. for now, at least. it is a deliberate decision to stop all interactions with my brother due to the toxicity of the relationship. and with this comes the natural end to the possibilities of interacting and ability to influence the growing of my beloved niece and nephew. so this becomes another loss to me.

relatives

> put in more efforts to strengthen the ties with my extended family

i have yet to fully fulfil this aspect of my life although i must say i have increased the efforts to interact with them. 

health

> live healthily

i have not been able to achieve this given the constant sickness over the pass few months. my health took a nosedive over the last month with 2 visits to the a&e department for chest tightness and kidney stones. my colleague suggested to me that my health issues were to a large part psychosomatic and i tend to agree with her. so this is one area i need to really work on. let's hope this goes away soon.

work/ professional development

> get a new job, move to a new company

frankly, i had almost wanted to give up looking for a job when the transport company told me they will not be pursuing my candidacy. but given the recent developments in my workplace, i have renewed my job search process and i really hope to be able to move to a new company soon. perhaps this will also help clear my health issues? heh...

friends

> build and strengthen the relationships amongst my circle of friends, and if possible, expand my network of friends

this perhaps is one of the positive aspects for me this year. at work, there are a lot of positive development and my colleagues are getting rather close to me. also outside, there are also a little more interactions with people around me.

bloggers/ blogging

> continue to blog

yup, i have continued to blog. but i must say this - the motivation level had dropped and i do often end up blogging only on weekends. nonetheless, i see this as a temporary downtime cos blogging is something i believe i will continue to do.

the ocean at the end of the lane

had just completed this book last night. took me more than 3 months to complete this. had been a long time since i last read any books! and so, when i started, i didn't find it engaging enough to continue and put it off. the momentum just wasn't there. read it on and off only when i had the chance to head to the pool. i only managed to immerse myself into the story after i read more than half the book. heh...

but yeah, it was a good read once you are into it.

i enjoyed it.

colorless tsukuru tazaki

i had just completed reading this book by haruki murakami.

and he has done it again. the book was surprising easy to read and once again, and it was difficult to put down once you start. and what's interesting about this book (to me at least), was the fact that for the first time, he has a story that features, or rather, hints of homosexual tendencies albeit in a dream. it was interesting to read of how the main character got to know another guy and got into this very intense relationship with another guy, yet in a very bromance way. and then how the main character dreamt about the guy sucking him and gulping down his cum as he orgasm. a whole lot of pent up thoughts on the part of the main character.

but yeah, it was a book where i could identify with the tensions and thoughts of the main character. i see parts of me in him. 

:-)

the timekeeper

it must be one of my new record. i completed the book in less than 24 hours. it was a very easy and a very engaging read. typical magic of mitch albom. and no, i am not going to write a review about the book, that would be too stressful for me at this time of the night. all i am gonna say is this - if you want something light, simple, engaging and that builds up as you read, this is the book you want to get. mitch albom has not failed me although i must say it wasn't as engaging as some of his previous books. this book makes my one day leave worth it.

the book findeth its owner

i chanced upon joyce's blog when i did a search on "gay changi green" some time back. when i first read her postings, i felt sad. i felt sad that such a young girl had to go through such terrible life experiences of coming out, of depression, etc amidst teenage angst. and despite her loving family, i sensed she did not have the necessary psychological support from like-minded gay people who had previously gone through this process. she need not go through these pains all by herself like many of us did. i felt she needed some additional affirmation, encouragement and support. and so i decided to keep track of her postings and to keep an overwatch on her. ok, in short, call me kaypoh! heh heh. and i have been at it over the last 2 years. and whenever i sensed anything slightly out of place, i would drop her a note or two to give her words of encouragements. since i first chanced upon her blog, she had changed her blog applications at least twice. i have also seen her postings shift from being a tat emotional and angsty (hmm, did i spell it right?) to ones that were more reflective. interestingly, her choice of nicks also showed a growing confidence and sophistication in her as she matures. it was first "jittery". then, it was "joyce". and now, it is simply "jae". her recent postings were particular interesting as she started to ask questions relating to self-development. it was very good to see her going into such questions for it showed a growing maturity in her. it reflected well on her. i had thus far refrained from posting anything too structured about visioning and setting of objectives. but this morning, after reading her latest posting on post-frustrations benefits, i decided i should try to prod her into looking for a more structured way to self-development. but i was not sure how to go about doing it. coaching her like i did for my students in my last job was probably not the best thing to do. the challenging thing about such self-development initiatives is that one will not fully appreciate nor be motivated to do it until one is ready for it. and so, i decided to just kiv any actions and to mull over it. so i switched off my computer and started to clear my work-table and place some unread books into the bookshelf. and that was when i saw the book "the monk who sold his ferrari" staring of me! i had an extra book and did not know who to pass to. so when i saw it today, i knew on the spot that i must give it to her! not sure if it was a coincidence, but everything just fitted in so nicely. the book could give her an interesting perspective of self-development and probably help her think through in a more structured way how she could enhance her journey towards self-mastery! really, the book findeth its owner! hope it is able to help her as it did me! :-) ps: time: 10.45pm. and joyce just smsed me telling me she can't stop smiling! the book is actually on her to-buy-list! ha! yes! she is ready for it! see! as i said - the book findeth its owner! how true! how very true!

blind willow, sleeping woman

book i am reading now.

:-)

mojo book

book i am reading now!

:-)

waking up early

after getting so inspired following my reading of the monk who sold his ferrari, i have started waking up at 5.30-5.45am daily. and i would go for my morning walk and deep breathing exercises at the changi business park. and my day seemed longer. i have more time. i think i am healthier. most importantly, i feel good about it. i think i will just keep up with this routine! :-)

90 days

book i am reading now.

:-)

the monk again!

it is not often that i repost any post. but this time round, i am doing so. and this is purely becos i intend to re-read this wonderful, motivating and very inspirational book. during my first read, i found so many quotes worth highlighting but decided i would do so later... and now, i cannot do so if i do not re-read the whole book! this is one of the very few books where i found myself smiling a lot as i read. and i think i must have looked pretty foolish in the mrt smiling to myself continuously! i'd seriously recommend it to anyone who wants to get your own lives going!

:-)

the monk who sold his ferrari

book i am reading now.

this is a link to a quick review of the book.

:-)

leadership

book i am reading now.

:-)

slam

this is the book i am reading now.

:-)

have a little faith

book i am reading now.

south of the border west of the sun

this the book i am reading now.

after the quake

this the book i am reading now.

the great transformation

this is the book that i am reading now.

sputnik sweetheart

this the book i am reading now.

the lost symbol

just read the lost symbol, a book by dan brown, author of the da vinci codes. very good and interesting story. when i started reading, i could not put it down. but i thought he should have ended when the plot cleared and when the villian died. instead, he went on for a few more chapters about the symbol which was kinda an anti-climax.

:-|

haruki murakami

started reading books by haruki murakami last week and found it a very pleasant read. the first book i read was "what i talk about when i talk about running". certainly could connect with lots of things he wrote. and it left me smiling many a times. and today, i started a second book by him called "after dark". very smooth reading and very engaging. so glad to be able to find a writer that i like. will be checking out more of his books! this is a complete review of the books he wrote.

:-)