Bated breath

I watch, with deep interest, news about the competition between the 2 men. The outcome will affect the world directly, including me. Have seen how the world changed over the last 4 years. And it makes me worry what it will become if we have another 4 of the same. But it’s not within my control.

The characters, personality, and most importantly, the values of these 2 persons are so starkly different. I thought the choice is clear, but apparently it is not, looking at how things are panning out. The outcome might still swing the wrong way. Something is just not right. Is it the process? Or is it the electorate? Or a combination of both? 

Less than a week more to go. Regretfully, I expect a couple of months of uncertainty.

Finally!

I have finally cleared the eye doctor, gotten my eye prescription and made my new pair of specs! You don't know how challenging it had been for me over the past couple of months to go around like a blind person, and wearing a pair of progressive lens that has its coating totally washed off, and that allowed only a blurred view to me. 

The last time I thought my appointment was due (and that was 2 months ago), the hospital had to postpone my appointment to last week. And last week, my appointment clashed with the rehearsal of my major event and I had to pushed it back further. When I called the hospital, the operator told me the next earliest date they could give me was next May. Thankfully, someone cancelled their appointment today and I managed to get myself slotted in instead. 

So my review will be in a years time. And my new pair of glasses will be ready in 7 to 10 days. It will set me back $1200, but I supposed it's worth the price - Porsche, titanium, new design, progressive lenses, multi-coated and with protection against blue light. 

Looking forward to it!

One major event down

I have finally completed one major event. It was nerve wrecking throughout the global event and Murphy did strike many times during both days. But thankfully, we managed to pull through. Despite the many hiccups, I was glad things panned out relatively ok (objectively). And there were positive comments and complements from participants. I supposed as organisers, we sometime tend to be a little too harsh on ourselves, especially when things do not happen the way we planned for it to be. But these are all invisible to the participants. I need to be less harsh on myself and my team. Must learn to chill more.

For now, I am really exhausted. But I cannot take a break for too long. I need to get back to the thick of another project that we will be launching globally in less than 10 days. We've been working on the pre-work since June and everything seemed relatively smooth so far. And today, even as I start to complete the post-event activities, I have to jump straight (back) into the project. No time to lose. Have not given it the attention it needed over the last 2 weeks.

And after that, it will be budgeting and planning for next year. And this will take the next 2-3 months.

Wish me luck.

Burnt out

It's been very overwhelming at work lately and I'm near breakdown. Am not managing things well and am feeling totally burnt out. 

You see, I have a very small team of 2 permanent staff and 2 interns and one of the permanent staff had gone on maternity leave. The person hired to cover the maternity is a good person, but being new and unfamiliar with the company processes and culture, I have to many a times double up and guide him in his daily work. At times, I need to go through minute details with him such as selecting photos and videos for an event video (cos he cannot recognise who's who and which photos or videos to select). 

My other perm staff is also managing another global initiative that involves hundreds of stakeholders and my leadership presence and guidance is heavily needed. And as if this is not enough, I'm also almost single-handedly organising a global summit - held virtually for the first time - that involves hundreds of key leaders across the group entities around the world. And I've to do everything - from conceptualizing to designing to co-ordinating to invitations etc. 

To make it worst, I have been placed on a leadership program that takes up almost half my time at work. Too many things going on and all these are happening at the same time. And it’s one major event after another, non-stop since the start of the year. And my boss recently "volunteered” me to be part of a project team to organise some farewell for a retiring top management leader. I told her I cannot cope and am totally overwhelmed as it is, and that I request to be taken of this new project. I added that I am currently feeling totally burnt out. 

And her response?

• I will let you off for now. Once your other project ends, I will rope you in again. 

and to my burnt out, she simply said:

• Don't stress yourself. 

Erm... frankly, it’s most discouraging to have a boss say this like as though I’m the one that’s causing my current state of being. I don’t usually, or rather, have never raise any white flags until now. And for her to so nonchalantly and insensitively wave off my shout out for help, it’s most discouraging. I almost wanted to just throw two days ago when she said all these.

Quiet...

Have been quiet, not becos of anything but I'm quite frustrated with the new interface of blogger and am having a lot of difficulty trying to blog from my laptop...