Saturday, 15 August 2026
Building an App
Friday, 19 June 2026
Bak Chang & I
Duanwu Jie (or 端午节, Dragon Boat Festival) has always been present in my family through the making of bak chang. My mother would prepare them, offer them to the gods, and share them with people who mattered to us. Although she is Peranakan, she would make the Hokkien-style savoury bak chang, shaped by my father’s and grandmother’s Hokkien background. Occasionally, she would also buy the sweet Peranakan-style nonya chang for us. I have always preferred the nonya version. My personal journey in making the chang began in 2003. I think I went through two major phases in my nonya chang making journey: an early experimentation or "fusion" phase, and a later maturation into the nonya style. What began as experimentation shaped by homesickness has, over time, grown into something grounded in memory, belonging, and continuity - and, ultimately, in how I understand my own identity.
I started making it in 2003 when I was based in Tampa. I was living in a western country, navigating life as a minority, and I remember a persistent sense of loneliness and distance from my cultural roots. Food became a way of returning to something familiar. In that space, I began experimenting with bak chang. There was no clear recipe at the start - only instinct and memory. I went to a Vietnamese grocery shop and bought the ingredients and bamboo leaves. What emerged was a version that, at times, resembled Hokkien choot bee png (fried glutinous rice) wrapped in bamboo leaves, rather than bak chang in its fully formed sense. To many of us Asians based in Tampa, however, it carried a familiar resonance of home, and it became an unexpected success among fellow Asian military personnel on base.
In the years that followed, after returning to Singapore, I began to refine the recipe through trial and error. My mother guided me in those early years, especially in emphasising the importance of coriander powder and winter melon. What emerged was a fusion version that I was rather proud of - it felt like a meeting point between my parents’ heritage: Hokkien on one side, Peranakan on the other. Yet beneath that satisfaction was a quieter pull. I had wanted to make nonya chang, but the result kept settling into something in-between. I knew the ingredient mix was not quite right but could not pinpoint exactly what. Still, I was elated that my parents, especially my mother, enjoyed what I made. I sometimes wondered whether her enjoyment was also shaped by her own Peranakan upbringing, something she had carried differently after marrying into my father’s more traditional Hokkien family.
Over time, I kept adjusting the recipe with each passing year. Each year brought small refinements, and gradually the nonya character became more distinct - the first real turning point being the removal of hae bee (dried shrimp) and an increase in coriander powder. What had once been experimentation slowly became something more intentional, as though I was uncovering rather than inventing it. I have continued this annual practice ever since, and this year I went further, making adjustments to both the ingredients and the cooking method. The filling was made more savoury; the rice given more depth with extra garlic, fresh and fried shallots; and salt added to the boiling water to prevent dilution of flavours during cooking. The outcome felt closer than ever to what I had been seeking.
Looking back, what stands out is not the technical evolution of the recipe, but the emotional thread running through it. Making nonya chang has become a quiet way of staying connected - to my heritage, my parents, and their histories. More than that, it has gradually become part of who I am.
Here's my latest recipe >> Nonya Chang 2026
Here's a quick explanation to what the festival is: >> The festival commemorates the patriot and poet Qu Yuan and celebrates the enduring values of loyalty, remembrance, and community. These days, families mark the occasion by enjoying the bak chang or rice dumplings together, watching or participating in dragon boat races, and gathering to preserve cultural traditions across generations.
Saturday, 13 June 2026
Grateful 13 Jun: Tiring But Meaningful
Friday, 12 June 2026
Grateful 11 & 12 Jun: Nonya Chang
Over the last 3 days, I devoted much of my time to making the nonya chang. After 2 days of cooking and tying them, I began distributing them last evening. This is the first time I have made nonya chang since my break-up in 2024. There are people in my life, especially in recent times, whom I wish to thank, and few things feel more meaningful than preparing nonya chang for them. So today, let me give thanks to:
- My Sisters. As I prepared a list of people to whom I wanted to give the chang, my two sisters were right at the top. Nothing surpasses family when it comes to gratitude. I am thankful for their unwavering support, their presence in my life, and the bond we share as a family.
- C & K. I am deeply grateful to C and K for their support over the past year, especially C. I shall not go into the details of what happened last year, but without her help, my life today would likely have been very different. As C is currently working overseas, I was only able to pass the chang to K, her partner. K was one of the first people to visit me last year, and I appreciated her kindness and companionship during that period. I made a trip to her home yesterday evening and was delighted that she enjoyed the chang.
- D, S & V. This year, I made a special effort to thank D, S and V. I have written much about them recently, particularly D. Although I had known of D since the mid-1990s, I did not know him personally then. We moved in different circles, and our paths only properly crossed last year. Through a series of unexpected circumstances, we ended up spending a great deal of time together, sometimes meeting almost daily. I am profoundly grateful for his friendship and support during this period of my life. It was through D that I came to know S and V, one of his closest friend and her husband. They have been equally generous with their friendship and encouragement, and I wanted them to know how much I appreciate them. As it turned out, all 3 of them are fans of nonya chang.
Sunday, 31 May 2026
Grateful 31 May: Vesak Day
- As a Philosophy. I read widely about many religions during my younger years - their history, evolution, philosophies and how they are practised. I am drawn to logic and reason, and I find myself relating deeply to the wisdom of Buddhism. It is not prescriptive, and it advocates personal effort and the pursuit of wisdom. I am grateful for this body of knowledge and for how it has encouraged me to seek truth as I search for meaning in my life.
- As a Practice. I took refuge and received the precepts more than a decade ago, and I have been observing vegetarianism during the Vesak period for many years. Being vegetarian is part of observing the precept of not taking lives. The others are abstaining from lying, intoxicating substances, sexual misconduct and stealing. I learned from my teacher that the precepts are meant to guide us in our daily actions. But being human, we may occasionally fail to observe them. When that happens, we should forgive ourselves, reflect on it and learn from it. I am grateful for this compassionate and enlightened approach. Beyond that, I try my best to live according to Buddhist principles and teachings.
- As a Religion. I was brought up in a form of Buddhism that was very Southeast Asian - Buddhism infused heavily with Taoist practices and rituals. I remember clearly how my mum would bring me to temples to pray for health, wealth and protection - something that is not very "Buddhistic". At that age, I simply followed along without fully understanding what Buddhism meant beyond the rituals. Over time, my understanding of Buddhism deepened and I came to embrace it not just culturally or ritually, but as a religion - reflected in how I live, practise and observe it in my daily life. To me, rituals and observances are forms of discipline that help anchor me amidst the busyness and distractions of life.
I wish everyone a Blessed Vesak Day.
Saturday, 21 March 2026
Grateful 21 Mar: Celebrations
- Hari Raya Aidilfitri. It was such a delight to see the Malay community out in full force, all beautifully dressed as they celebrate the occasion. These days, the variety of attire is especially striking - from the traditional baju kurung, to the more form-fitting sarong kebaya, to those dressed more conservatively with tudung and, for some, black tunics. What stood out most to me was how families coordinated their outfits. There is something deeply heartwarming about that. I feel grateful to be able to celebrate this festival with them.
- The bus driver. Living in a multicultural society means that during festive periods, people from different communities often step in to keep essential services running. During Chinese New Year, for instance, many frontline roles are taken on by non-Chinese staff. And of course, there are always some who choose to work on their own festive holidays. Today, I boarded a bus driven by a Malay driver. My first thought was, “Aiyoh, he should be celebrating with his family instead of working.” Then again, he must have had his reasons. As I alighted, I wanted to show my appreciation and in my way to celebrate the occasion with him, wished him “Selamat Hari Raya”, placing my hand on my heart. He responded with a broad smile, almost a grin, and returned the greeting in the same manner. I felt grateful to him for being at work today.
- Dinner with M. It has been a while since I last had a proper dinner out with M. With both our schedules, it has not been easy to find time to meet. So I was especially glad that we managed to do so today. And it was so nice to be able to take a drive around Seletar after dinner! Been a while! The evening was simple, yet meaningful as we celebrate our friendship! Happy and grateful.
Wednesday, 18 March 2026
Grateful 18 Mar: Reconnections
- D and T. I met D and T this morning. It wasn’t planned. I had gone for a urine test and had to wait as I didn’t have sufficient urine for collection. While waiting, I chanced upon them. It was such a coincidence! We ended up having a quick breakfast at Geylang Serai. Being just three days before Hari Raya Aidil Fitri, the place - long the heart of all things Malay - was buzzing with activity, with many doing their festive grocery shopping. D, T and I used to meet more often, but with work preoccupations recently, our meet-ups has dwindled. In fact, I have not seen them since CNY. As such, being able to reconnect with them today felt really good and I am grateful for it. I am glad to see T managing well despite his health issue.
- L. I met L for lunch today. It’s been months since that awkward conversation some months back and I have chosen not to initiate contact, leaving it to him to decide instead. He needs to decide how our close-to-five-decades friendship will evolve in the years ahead. As for me, I do not wish to place myself in a position where I might feel judged. Life is too short for that. We’ve only met once following that meet up, and last week he asked if I was free for lunch today. So we met. The conversation was warm but at times, awkward. Nonetheless, I am grateful that he took the initiative to reconnect. The ball remains in his court.
- M. I miss my buddy. He last visited me a week ago and has been busy taking care of his mum. I didn’t want to impose, and had left it to him to initiate any meet-ups. Looking after an elderly is not easy and I can relate and empathise. Whenever I think about his situation, I am reminded of how I once told my ex that my priorities would always lie with my own mum - that I would place her above everything else. This morning, at the Geylang Serai market, I had intended to buy ondeh ondeh for breakfast, but the makcik (Malay auntie) sold me roti jala (see picture) instead. I didn’t correct her and simply paid for it, and decided to keep it for dinner. As it turned out, during my conversation with M, he mentioned that he enjoys roti jala. It felt like a small, timely alignment, and I took it as a cue to invite him over. I am glad and grateful that he made time to come by this evening. After some time apart, it felt good to reconnect again - simply, quietly, and without expectation. It was nice to finally spend time together.
Monday, 9 March 2026
Grateful 9 Mar: Friend & Buddy
- Him. For simply being who he is. For allowing me to glimpse parts of his life and for extending his friendship to me, despite all that he knows about me. It’s only over the last year or so that he started sharing more about himself and, for that matter, his real full name with me. To me, it reflects the openness and an outcome of the trust built over time. Over the past two years, he has been a source of support when I needed it. His presence has brought moments of warmth and joy into my life, and for that, I am thankful.
- The Confectionery. I wanted to make his birthday a little special for him, just as he has made mine special in the past two years. Knowing that he enjoys the Teochew la piah - not the usual sweet version, but the mixed sweet-and-savoury kind - I thought it would be nice to get one for him. This, I reckon would be more personalised compared to the usual birthday cake. I am grateful that a small confectionery shop in Chinatown still makes and sells it. And I’m glad he enjoyed it.
- The MRT. It may sound unusual to express gratitude for the MRT, but today I felt thankful for the ease and convenience it provides. It allowed me to travel from my home to Chinatown and back within the time I had planned, without difficulty. Sometimes the ordinary systems around us quietly enable and support the small acts of care we wish to offer others.
Tuesday, 3 March 2026
Grateful 3 Mar: CNY Chap Goh Meh
- Family. I had a surprise text from my sis last afternoon inviting me for Chap Goh Meh dinner tonight. It turned out to be a lovely curry fish head dinner with her and my brother-in-law. I am glad and thankful that I am able to spend this special day with family - a day when many gather for a final round of CNY reunion.
- Dinner. We had a curry fish head zichar dinner - an unusual dinner for a CNY get-together. But as I had reflected previously, having such multicultural fare is something very normal for us. The curry fish head, together with dishes such as ginseng chicken, sinchew noodles, made for a sumptuous meal - a very nice treat from the usual home-cooked fare that I had been eating these days. And we had another round of yusheng too!
- Blood Moon. Today is an auspicious day for us. And to have a total lunar eclipse on this particular day is certainly rare. Some may call it an ill omen, as a lunar eclipse is said to be akin to the dragon swallowing the moon - which I was made to believe when I was a kid living in the kampung - but not to me. I’m glad I lived to experience such a rare occasion, although regrettably I only get to see the partial eclipse as it was cloudy during the full eclipse.
Saturday, 28 February 2026
Grateful 28 Feb: Food
- Abundant and Thoughtful Meals. I’m grateful for the abundance of food and the care my family puts into it. Even with many coffee shops and food outlets closed during the first two days of CNY, I’ve never been short of a meal. My sister, aunt, and cousin have all packed food for me, so there’s always something ready to eat. Sometimes I even find myself wondering what I should choose - a nice problem to have! I make sure not to waste anything, spreading meals over several sittings and using proteins from my fridge to boost them. This stretches the food over more days and keeps my meals balanced, which I really appreciate.
- Foods that Help Me Stay Balanced. I’m thankful for the foods that help my body stay balanced despite indulgence. Today, I had 2 bananas and a can of coconut water - both rich in potassium - which help counter the high sodium in CNY dishes. These foods support recovery, prevent cramps, and help me feel better after exercise or indulgent meals. Even amidst rich, salty foods, having these small additions makes me feel nourished and looked after. It’s a simple reminder that food can both delight and support wellbeing.
- Thoughtful Preparation. I’m grateful for the steps I’ve taken to prepare for myself. My fridge is stocked with protein sources - eggs, meat, prawns, chicken, tau kwa - which I can rely on to keep my meals balanced and to maintain my muscle mass. Tonight’s dinner really shows this in action: the sardines and bitter gourd stir-fry with chicken and black beans were brought over by my sister, and I added an egg from my fridge to boost the protein. It’s a simple combination, but it reminds me how I can enjoy festive foods while keeping my meals protein-strong. Knowing I have these options on hand gives me reassurance that, even during indulgent periods, I can take care of myself and stay on track. This mix of family care and personal preparation makes every meal feel nourishing and meaningful.
Thursday, 26 February 2026
Grateful 26 Feb: CNY Connections (3)
- Family. My aunt has 5 children and my cousins are all in their 60s. It feels good to be able to connect with them every CNY. Among my generation, I am the only one invited to join them - not just for their annual CNY dinner, but also for their family get-togethers every few months. I always appreciate their hospitality; they make me feel so welcome each time I visit. My cousin, PL, also consistently makes it a point to prepare extra food for me to bring home after the CNY dinner. I am truly thankful for the way they include me, and I always look forward to our yearly reunion.
- Cousins. I am always thankful for the warmth my cousins show whenever we meet up. Among my cousins, I am probably closest to two of them - PL, who is the primary caregiver for my aunt, and CS, her brother, who currently resides in Australia. I suppose I am closer to PL because I can appreciate the challenges she faces as a caregiver, having been one myself when I took care of my mum, and we occasionally chat about it. As for CS, he is a year older than me, and we went through similar undergraduate courses during our uni days. We eventually pursued different careers and he migrated to Australia not long after graduation. But we will always meet up whenever possible, such as during our CNY gatherings.
- Next Generations. There are 4 generations in my aunt’s family. Her great-grandchildren are already in their teens. I belong to the “grand” generation and there is a generation gap between them and I - even with my cousins’ children - but they remain respectful towards me. It’s very heartwarming to have watched them grow, get married, and move through different stages of life. But it also reminds me that I, too, am moving along with age.
Wednesday, 18 February 2026
Grateful 18 Feb: CNY Connections (2)
- Friends. I give thanks for friends I met today: PY, whom I had breakfast with; M, my buddy, who came over in the afternoon; and JL, who visited me in the evening. Each of them has, in their own way, brought much meaning into my life, and I am thankful for the chance to reconnect. Breakfast with PY was a lovely catch-up. She was my colleague in my last job, and we used to have lunch together regularly. After I left the corporate world, we stayed in contact, and she was one of the first to volunteer as my coachee when I needed hours for my coaching credential. Through those sessions, I came to know her better, and over time, we became friends. I will not go into detail about M, as I have written about him quite a bit recently. As for JL, she is an ex-neighbour from my parents’ place. In fact, I consider her a family friend, having known her for over 40 years. She dropped by today with my sister and brother-in-law, and it was especially nice to see her again after such a long time.
- Second Sister, Brother-in-law & JL. I am grateful to my second sister and brother-in-law for dropping by with dinner and yusheng. They brought JL along, as she had visited them earlier. It was a warm and meaningful visit, especially in the CNY context. We spent a good amount of time reminiscing about the past.
- Lou Hei (Yusheng). I am thankful for the chance to toss yusheng with people close to me. This was my second lou hei of the year, and instead of raw fish, my sister used abalone and jellyfish. It was thoughtfully assembled, and I am so very full now. Although yusheng is largely made up of shredded vegetables and pickles, it is not exactly healthy. It comes with sweet sauces, ground nuts, sesame seeds, and other ingredients, making it both calorie and sodium rich. But what the heck right? This is a once-a-year affair and who better to lou the yusheng with than family and close friends?
Tuesday, 17 February 2026
Grateful 17 Feb: CNY Connections (1)
- Connecting to my Heritage: Traditions. CNY is a powerful reminder of what it means for me to be Chinese. The rituals we practise - mandarin oranges, auspicious couplets, everything in red, red packets, red banners, well-wishes, the Chinese zodiac - are not just festive customs. They are living expressions of a culture that has shaped how I see family, relationships, and myself. Beyond these visible symbols lie deeper values of order, kinship, and bonds. I use the word “order” in a very Confucian sense - an understanding of where we stand in relation to one another, and how respect is expressed through our words and actions. These traditions connect me to my past and they gave me a deep sense of rootedness. In honouring them, I am not merely celebrating a festival; I am reaffirming my place in my Chinese heritage and in my own sense of “Chineseness”.
- Connecting to Others: Visitations. CNY Day 1 has always been reserved for visiting seniors in the family, with later days set aside for more junior relatives, friends and reciprocal visits. This, apart from hierarchy, also recognises and honour relationships that have shaped me. Through these visitations, family ties are renewed and affirmed meaningfully. Although I usually do not visit friends during CNY, today was an exception. I visited a friend who is battling oesophageal cancer. Giving him the Day 1 “privilege” felt important - because he is older than me, because this may be his last CNY, and because he is unable to visit his relatives and friends as he is still observing his 1-year mourning period for his late mother. I am deeply thankful that he allowed me to visit, as not many people would accept visitors during such a time.
- Connecting to Self: Rest. Because of the heavy rain, the absence of uncles, and the fact that I had already visited my aunt yesterday, today turned into a superbly restful day. I could not clean the house (lest I sweep away good luck), I did not need to cook (thanks to leftovers from CNY reunion dinner), and my only visitation was late in the afternoon. I spent a large part of the day using AI to restore old black-and-white family photos, colourising them, and sharing them with my cousins and sisters. I was initially worried that they might find my "spamming" of their WhatsApp bothersome but their positive responses surprised me. One of them even asked me for "more more more"! Grateful that I could bring some joy to them on this auspicious day. Although unplanned, I found connection not through visits, but through memory, shared history, and affection.
Monday, 16 February 2026
Grateful - 16 Feb: Family
- Immediate Family: The term “immediate family” used to include my partner and my siblings, not so much their kids. Now, it’s just my siblings. My relationships with them have been uneven (for eg, I am not on talking terms with my brother). Despite this, I am thankful for their presence in my life. My interactions with my eldest sister and brother-in-law these days occur far and few between, but the warmth and sense of siblingship are felt in her messages during festive seasons and important days, such as birthdays. For my second sister and her husband, I am grateful for their support when I needed it and for the frequent visits - bringing food or simply checking in to see how I’m managing.
- Extended Family: I am grateful to my extended family. They include relative from both my maternal and paternal sides. I am closer to my paternal side and meet up with my aunts more often - perhaps due to my traditional upbringing. Interacting with them reminds me of my heritage and gives me a sense of rootedness and identity. Similar to previous years, I joined my aunt and her family for their Chinese New Year reunion dinner. She always makes it a point to invite me over and fuss over what to cook. I felt a little bad about imposing, but my cousin assured me that my presence has always been the highlight for her. I’m glad I could bring her some joy today, and I also look forward to joining my other aunt for their family get-together next week.
- Non-blood-related Family: As a gay person, non-blood-related family is a major part of my life, and I am grateful for the support they give. I am referring to my close friends, who fill the vacuum created by the absence of a “traditional” family. These friends play an increasingly important part in my life, especially as members of my parents’ generation dwindle and the extended family disperses. I am thankful to them for their care and concern - checking in on me frequently, visiting, or quietly keeping up with me on social media, sending messages like, “You hardly post anything anymore, everything okay?” “How come you lost so much weight? Hope you are well!” or, “I may not text often but you’re in my thoughts,” or, “Please don’t hesitate to reach out anytime you need, okay?” etc.
Sunday, 15 February 2026
Grateful - 15 Feb: Togetherness
- Neighbours. On my way out to get my CNY stuff, I met my 4th floor neighbour, M. She’s a chatty person and never fails to have a chat whenever we chance upon each other. Admittedly, I did find her a bit nosy initially, but over time I’ve accepted her as she is. And today, as we chatted, another neighbour from the 8th floor, Mr & Mrs K, walked by. They had arranged to head to the CNY bazaar for their CNY shopping! M asked if I wanted to join them, but Mrs K said, “I don’t think he wants la. He needs to head to the coffee shop for his coffee…” It’s a simple remark, but it tells me people notice, and people remember. Quite a warm feeling, I must say.
- Community. During major festivals, the sense of community feels very strong. And certainly, during CNY, the sense of community amongst Chinese Singaporeans is accentuated. In this regard, I’m grateful for the efforts over the last 4 decades to bring all dialect groups together. Today, we are all Chinese Singaporeans. It doesn’t matter if we are Hokkien (or its many sub-variants), Teochew, Hakka, Cantonese, Hockchew, Henghua, etc… we all speak Chinese and we celebrate CNY similarly. This contrasts with Singapore a century ago, when Chinese of different dialect groups fought each other…
- Country. There’s a certain feeling of warmth and inclusivity I get whenever we celebrate major festivals, be it CNY, Hari Raya, Deepavali, or even Christmas! The mood is highly energising and, in a huge way, brings people together. We don’t really just celebrate as a community, we celebrate as a country! So we have strangers walking by and wishing each other Happy Chinese New Year, or Selamat Hari Raya, or Happy Deepavali - whatever the festival may be to celebrants. It’s so nice to be living in Singapore, where people celebrate each other, regardless of race, language, or religion. I am thankful to be born here. I am blessed.
Thursday, 12 February 2026
Grateful - 12 Feb: Reflections & Self
- LK. I am grateful for her and for the friendship we share. We have known each other since our uni days and have journeyed through many ups and downs over the past 3 to 4 decades. She was one of the first people I came out to in the mid-90s. She is now navigating the final phase of her corporate life, and we have had many conversations about this transition. Two weeks ago, she called to ask if she could visit today. She arrived with dinner, and we spent the evening catching up - talking about work, life, and all. It was simple, unhurried, and deeply comforting.
- Reflections. It may sound strange to say I am grateful for my own reflections, but taking deliberate time to think has helped me uncover blind spots, learn about myself, and see situations more objectively. Through journaling - especially writing about what I am grateful for - I have become aware of how much I'd focus on the negatives. This practice made me reframed and shifted my attention to what truly matters. It grounds me in gratitude and reminds me to be more compassionate towards myself.
- Self-identity. How often do we take our heritage for granted? For most of my life, mine simply was - unquestioned and unexamined. But as I grow older, I find myself paying more attention to my roots. Today, as I blogged about "CNY and I", I saw more clearly the uniqueness of my heritage and how much I had taken it for granted. Blogging, once again, helped me understand myself better - and in this case, reaffirm my identity as a Singaporean Chinese. I am grateful for that reminder.
CNY & I (a Singaporean Chinese)
Wednesday, 11 February 2026
Grateful - 11 Feb: Daily Blessings
- Underwear. I recently bought a pair of underwear and it arrived today. I really like the fit - it holds everything up really well. Feels pretty sexy wearing it. So… yeah, I’m thankful for this very intimate piece of underwear!
- Buddy. I’ve recently started using the term “buddy” on a friend of mine. You know… heh… I’ve blogged about him before, but this is probably the first time I’m calling him my “buddy”. He didn’t text me for two days and I got a little worried and texted him. I was thankful when he replied and said he was simply busy and all’s well. We ended by saying we missed each other. So sweet, right?
- Red banner. I decided to visit the temple to give thanks for the year and to pray for smooth sailing and good health in the new year. While on the train, it suddenly hit me that I hadn’t kept track of the date to hang the red banner. After checking, I realised that today was the deadline! I was so grateful for that sudden realization - I would have missed it otherwise. I hurried home, finished washing the kitchen, and once that was done, I could officially kick off the “Little New Year” by putting up the red banner on my door. Let the CNY celebrations begin!







