New milestone - Paid coaching

I did my first paid coaching session today. 

Last week, I got a call from a dear friend who told me he needed coaching. This followed an earlier session I had with him last month, which he found very useful. Fast forward to now - he was feeling frustrated and stuck again with the same issue. Without hesitation, I agreed to coach him. But there was a catch. I will pay you, or I won’t let you coach me. I’ll be your first paid coachee, and hopefully, this will turn things around for you! he declared. I wasn’t expecting this, but I truly wanted to help him. So, I told him he could decide what he thought the session was worth. 

This morning, I completed the session with him. I helped him gain clarity on his thoughts and the steps he needed to take to move forward. I was glad I could support him. But above all, I’m incredibly grateful for his support in my journey. Back when I was unsure about pivoting my career to freelancing, he was the first to say, I will support you, no matter what you decide. He was also the one who referred me to his friend - who later became my first “non-friend” client. And now, he has become my first paid client.

Thank you, A. 

😊

Interesting trip

My recent trip to KL was probably the most interesting. Lots of new experiences, meeting of new people, making new friends and doing things that I would never imagined me doing before. But let's just leave it as that. Just wanna put a note on it.

:-)

Xiaohongshu 小红书

I downloaded the Xiaohongshu 小红书 app just before the CNY period and was immediately intrigued by the posts and conversations. This was especially so because it coincided with TikTok’s shutdown in the U.S. (just before the presidential inauguration) and there were many “TikTok refugees” - people who chose to migrate from TikTok to Xiaohongshu.

The content and discussions on TikTok, and Xiaohongshu couldn’t be more different. The contrast in tone and perspectives between the West (particularly the U.S.) and the rest of the world (especially China) is striking. I won’t go into too much detail because there are so many layers to explore - cordial vs. toxic interactions, skepticism and cynicism vs. pride, curiosity, and more. It’s fascinating! I suppose it reflects each country’s history, culture, and approach to control and censorship.

You really have to experience it to understand what I mean. For now, Xiaohongshu has replaced TikTok as my go-to for daily social media browsing. And, of course, X, with all the toxicity and spins by too many “far right extremists”, is now just for porn - nothing else.

;-)

Modern Day Robin Hood

I went to the dentist today. The total cost for scaling, deep cleaning, and an X-ray came to about S$280. But after all the subsidies and claims, I only paid about S$40. I was pleasantly surprised by this because, in previous years, the maximum I could claim was S$120. Glad I delayed my check-up!

Reflecting on life on this Little Red Dot, I think the government does a great job of playing Robin Hood. But this has nothing to do with the dental perks I mentioned earlier - those were benefits I earned after spending a good amount of time in the armed forces. Now, back to Robin Hood. In Singapore, people who earn more get taxed more, while those below a certain income threshold don’t get taxed at all (if I remember correctly, that's about 85% of the population, though I might be wrong). The government also provides monetary relief across almost all key aspects of life - from medical expenses to transport to daily living costs. Many are universal (e.g., subsidies for medical care at government-restructured hospitals) but means-tested (meaning the better off you are, the more you pay). On top of that, the government distributes fixed-amount reliefs regularly (eg CDC vouchers, transport vouchers, Medisave grants, Assurance packages, etc) to all individuals/ households to help offset the GST increase and ease the cost of living.

These reliefs and perks may seem relatively small when viewed individually, but net-net, what I see is that those who earn more contribute more (mainly through taxes) and is supported less (as a percentage of income earned), while those who are less well-off and earned less receive maximum support. It’s so Robin Hood right? - take from the rich and give to the poor. For me, this is what it means - I’ve spent less than S$100 on groceries this year (2025) by leveraging the government-issued CDC vouchers, which were given to all households to assist with the cost of living. I also successfully upgraded my Community Health Assistance Scheme (CHAS) status and am now awaiting the outcome of my application for public transport vouchers. And I have yet to use the S$4000 MySkillsFuture grant to further upskill myself!

Let’s see what else I can apply to maximize the available reliefs and perks!

Volunteer

I’ve just signed up with a volunteer agency to mentor technical students on career choices. Funny how it all came together just yesterday. I met up with an ex-colleague to pass her some TCM cough medication since she’s been dealing with a lingering post-flu cough. It had been a while since we last caught up, and at some point, I mentioned how challenging it has been to clock my coaching hours. That’s when she asked if I’d be keen to mentor technical students on career choices and job hunting.

You know, there’s a certain level of social stigma around ITE students and graduates. They’re generally seen as less academically inclined and often come from tough family backgrounds. People are also quick to associate gang activities and petty crimes in news reports to ITE students or graduates - many times, unfairly and without evidence. That said, I found the idea of mentoring them pretty interesting. Career coaching is something I’m good at, and if I can help these students find their footing in the job market, why not? Plus, it’s a great way to clock my coaching hours while sharpening my skills at the same time. So, I agreed to explore it further with the programme coordinator.

Had a really interesting chat with the programme coordinator last evening. From the details shared, the programme reminds me a lot of my volunteer work with SG Enable a few years back. This time, I’ll be working with technical students who have recently graduated or will be graduating from ITE soon. One of my key questions for the coordinator was whether the students actually wanted to be part of the programme or if they were just forced into it. I was relieved when she said they signed up voluntarily. That says a lot about their motivation - they know this is good for them and want to be part of it. So, the challenges I’ll likely face will be more on the surface, like playfulness or communication struggles, rather than deeper issues like unwillingness to engage. 

Looking forward to seeing how this goes!

Strepsils

I went to the dentist today. It had been close to a year since my last visit, which was unusual for me, as I typically go for dental check-ups every six months or so. This time around, since leaving my employment, I figured it was an expense I could afford to space out. It made sense to me because my post-retirement dental benefits are topped up annually.

Anyway, I visited the dentist today, and it was one of the quietest visits ever. You see, the dentist had a bad throat. It was also the first time I had a female dentist attend to me. As I walked into the room, I could see her eyes smiling above her mask. She signalled for me to take a seat in the dental chair and went about checking my teeth. Then, she spoke to me in a whisper, almost inaudibly - "There seemed to be quite a bit of plaque buildup on the teeth on your lower jaw. We'll do a cleaning and then take an X-ray to see if there's anything inside that we should be concerned about. How's that?"

I agreed. She went about the cleaning after which I took an X-ray, and she later explained that everything looked good - nothing to be concerned about. I asked if she had a bad throat, and she nodded. I smiled, thanked her, asked her to take care and we parted ways. After making payments, I went to the supermarket next door, bought her a pack of Strepsils, and dropped it off with the reception staff. That was the least I could do. Poor girl - working during the Chinese New Year period with a bad throat - she must have felt terribly uncomfortable.

:-)

Delayed opportunity

Last year, I signed up as an associate trainer with two companies. 

For the first company, I successfully bid for a training slot in January this year, but the company's license was suspended for three months by the government. As a result, any training with this company will only begin in April at the earliest.

For the second company, after a long wait and onboarding process, I finally secured a training slot in February. Excitedly, I made the effort to observe a class a couple of weeks ago and put in significant preparation to ensure I was ready to deliver the module. However, last week, I was informed that my class would be reassigned to the module lead due to the introduction of new content. Such a bummer! I was particularly frustrated that I hadn’t been informed about the ongoing content review, especially after investing so much effort into my preparations. To make up for this, the coordinator assigned me additional classes in March. This is on top of the two classes I was already assigned - though, unfortunately, the new topic is one I’m not very familiar with. Doh! 

Given my experience with the February module, I decided to check whether new content would also be introduced for the two modules I’m scheduled to conduct in March. To my horror, the coordinator confirmed that there would be changes but said he would only provide details closer to the training date. This is quite unsettling, as it may leave me with little time to research and prepare for all three modules occurring almost back-to-back. That said, I’ve decided to take things in stride. As a new trainer in the team, I’ll observe how things are done and the dynamics between key players. Objectively, content reviews and refreshes don’t happen too often. On the bright side, exposure to new courses could open up more opportunities for me in the months ahead - and that’s a good thing. 

When training resumes for the first company in April, I do foresee myself getting pretty busy with training commitments on both ends. But for now (at least in February), I’ll have a bit more time to focus on my own well-being. 

:-)

JL - someone

I want to write a post about this person. Let's just call him JL.

I got to know JL in January last year when he contacted me via WhatsApp. He had gotten my contact from someone I met through Grindr. After exchanging a few messages, I decided to meet up with him. It was unusual for me to meet someone with his profile. You see, JL was 72 years old - an age I considered too mature for me. But I enjoyed our conversations, as he was Peranakan and would often code-switch to Peranakan Malay while sharing stories about his late mother. It was easy to relate to his stories, as they bore many similarities to my mum’s. I ended up meeting him a couple of times and, after a while, sensed that he liked me. This led to quite a bit of uneasiness because the person who gave him my number liked him as well. It was complicated, but I stayed above the drama and simply told him I wasn’t interested in any relationships, as I was partnered at the time. JL respected my decision.

JL is a highly prideful and self-centered person. He is also very sensitive and tends to read too much into every word used in conversations. He has a habit of throwing tantrums whenever things don’t go his way. Admittedly, there were many occasions when I felt uncomfortable with his condescending and rude tone during our conversations, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and took it in stride. Perhaps, I told myself, it was just one of those idiosyncrasies of an elderly person. He left for Bangkok in March and, for reasons I won’t elaborate on, decided it was not safe for him to return to Singapore. Given his self-declared fugitive status, he asked me for help to run some errands but in the midst of the conversation, abruptly blocked me and left me cold. I didn’t hear from him again until sometime in October, when he decided it was time to return - by which point he had unblocked me.

Upon his return, we met for a meal, during which he asked if I could be his executor. I politely declined, given my less-than-positive experience with him and the fact that I didn’t know him well enough to take on such a responsibility. Things remained cordial for the next two months. Sometime in December, he asked me for a favor - to give him a haircut - which I did a couple of weeks before Chinese New Year. He then invited me for a meal during the festive period, mentioning that he would be alone with nothing to do. I agreed but told him I might be traveling and could only confirm the date and time closer to the occasion. In the end, I didn’t travel. And I reached out to finalise the meet up plans. However, for some unknown reason, he later canceled the appointment and blocked me again.

Dealing with people who, without explanation, decide when to engage with you or cut you off is frustrating. It’s deeply disrespectful, entirely self-centered, and shows a complete lack of accountability. Previously, I had given him the benefit of the doubt, assuming that being alone overseas might have made him stressed and influenced his behavior. But this time, I decided it was best to delete his contact altogether. Life is too short to tolerate such treatment - I deserve better.

A month flew by

It’s only been a month into 2025, and much has happened - globally, locally, and on a personal level. The U.S. has a new president who has been busy signing and rolling out executive orders at a rapid pace, leading to numerous policy changes (not gonna talk too much about that, though). On the local front, there have been significant developments - reviews of election boundaries, impending budget announcements, etc., etc., etc. - so yes, everyone has been superbly busy setting the tone for the rest of the immediate year/ term. And personally, I’ve experienced several noteworthy changes as well. But lest I lose focus, I shall talk about those that matter:

• Personal life - My personal life has been rather stable, I must say. I decided to head to JB with a recently met friend and reconnected with a couple of friends and old colleagues. I reminded myself that I need to reach out to people instead of keeping to myself, as social engagement is an important part of maintaining my sanity (and contributing to my well-being). Of significance was me meeting up with a couple of great long-time friends while they were in town in January (e.g., Germs and his partner; and my US-based friend and his wife). Also, my tenant took a two-week break to visit Taiwan and head back to China for Chinese New Year. As a result, I was able to simply enjoy my "freedom" at home in his absence. 

• Well-being & Health - I had my half-yearly health review - all's good. I was referred to the sports medicine department for my bad knee that left me quite debilitated through most of December 2024, and it turns out there’s a bone spur growing in my right knee, contributing to the pain. I’ve been referred to a physiotherapist and given a battery of exercises to work on. Otherwise, I got my annual Covid and flu jabs, so I’m all good for now. Apart from that, I have been eating and snacking lots! Well, what to expect given all the Chinese New Year snacks right? Heh... As for overseas trips, I made a short trip to JB with a friend I got to know recently and have already booked another trip to KL this coming Sunday. Looking forward to meeting my KL friends!

• Family & Relatives - January was an interesting period for me, as much of my time was focused on Chinese New Year preparations. While I’m not particularly big on this festival since my parents' passing, annual routines and traditions like spring cleaning and the all-important reunion dinner with my auntie’s family couldn’t be ignored. These routines kept me connected to my relatives and, in a big way, reminded me of the larger entity I am a part of. On a more practical note, I took the opportunity to give my tenant's room and the common toilet a thorough cleaning. I realized that despite his regular cleaning, things still weren’t quite up to my expected standards. Okay, I’ve digressed from the topic of family & relatives.

• Professional Growth - Admittedly, this hasn't progressed as fast as I had expected. On the training front, I was all geared up and prepared to conduct my first session at the end of the first week of February, but in late January, I was informed that my session would be given to someone else. I’ll talk about this in another post, but it was a huge bummer for me, as I was really looking forward to it. On the coaching front, things have slowed down since December 2024 due to the year end festivities. To put things in perspective, I used to conduct 1 to 2 coaching sessions per weekday last year, but since December 2024, I’ve only managed at best one session per week. On the bright side, I landed a new client last week and helped him clear his thoughts about his career progression.

• Financial Health - This has been stagnant so far and will probably stay that way until I start my training. So... yeah, I’ll need to keep a close watch on this moving forward.

So yes, the last month zipped by quickly. On the whole, things were slow, but that was not unexpected. Looking ahead, I can only expect things to pick up from March onwards.