mum's hospitalised

well, woke up this morning to a very grouchy mum who insisted she wanted to pay a visit to the doctor. she complained of excruciating chest pains and said she didn't sleep a wink through the night. admittedly, i did not take too well to this development initially as i had an important training to attend today, and not to mention, lotsa work to catch up too. 

thankfully, i reminded myself that family must be above work and decided to just apply for a day's e-leave. brought her to the hospital and... history repeated itself. she would exaggerate her condition and the doctors would always err of the safe side and simply admit her! and the irony of it all was that she kept insisting she didn't want to go to the hospital as she knew she'd be warded. heh...

as for me, well, since i was on leave, i decided to make full use of it. i headed to the pool for a tan, and then headed to town to do some shopping and a facial.

been a superbly long time since i had such a relaxing day!

elderly gay uncle

was at the pool this morning and there's a 60-plus year old uncle. very frail looking, has a big stomach and hobbled along as he had problems walking properly. he was wearing a pair of skimpy bright red trunks that made him look really off. and he tried very hard to cruise people.

feel kinda sad to see this actually.

shallow people in jack'd

i have an account in jack'd, an app commonly subscribed by gay men. and i downloaded this app out of curiosity of who's gay around me and not because i wanted to date nor proposition people. i am so totally beyond such nonsense and am too tired to even want to consider dating anyone frankly, not that i can in the first place given my current circumstance.

anyway, for my profile, i do not put any pics, i remained anonymous and i indicated that i am 48 years old. so totally unattractive right? am probably the oldest cock in this app. but interestingly, there have been a small number of people who messaged me to chat. for the few young ones, the chat often died off after a few messages cos i suspect they just do not have the patience to chat with me as i do not really say much and even if i say anything, i would come across as a counsellor rather than a person who wants anything more (haha!). 

and i also noted this, for the very few profiles where i messaged cos i really like what i see (e.g., sceneries, flowers, dogs, etc), i often do not get replies. i suspect the individuals thought this uncle was trying to use weird lines to pick them up. for example, there was this individual that took his pic amidst a whole hill of lavender flowers. it was really pretty. i messaged him rather instinctively asking where was the location. there was totally no reply from this individual although i noted he "checked out" my profile. what he saw of my profile must have totally turned him off. ha!

from these experiences, i can only conclude this - many people subscribe to  such app to hook up with people, and so when they receive innocent messages, they simply assume people are trying to hook them up. 

how shallow right? then again, that's how people view and use this app. so, cannot blame anyone.

:-)

i was scrolling my blog postings and i realised this - i have used the smiley emoticon " :-) " to end my blog postings very often! in fact, this month alone, i have used this emoticon a consecutive 9 times!

lol! 

*** boss

you are at liberty to define what *** means.

i have a boss who gave me the following instructions this week:

• i wrote an email to check with a department head about some issues that i would like to discuss and as there was a background to this issue, i wanted to document this conversation to provide for an audit trail. naturally, i copied my boss cos he was a person who always insisted on email documentation of correspondence. next thing i knew, i was summoned to his office. you must know that you cannot send email to senior people to ask these things, you should talk to them first before you email them... he said, sounding somewhat unhappy. kinda weird for him to give me this kinda advice considering the fact that this was what he had been insisting of us and for that matter, doing to us. and most funnily, he should give me such advice, considering my seniority... but well, let's just take it that i look young (ahem... haha...)

• my boss had expanded my jobscope to cover recruitment - something that my colleague had been handling. and he had been superbly kancheong (anxious) to have me take over this asap. last week he emailed and voiced his displeasure when he noted my colleague was still doing it. then, i had told him that his directions was for me to take over fully by aug and i had already started understudying. i added that the plan was for me to handle new cases and my colleague would complete the cases she had initiated. he agreed to this plan. then suddenly out of no where, he wrote an email this week chiding me for not doing what i was "supposed" to do and demanded that i take over all recruitment immediately. my colleague, cleverly just dropped everything and threw it all to me. and then suddenly, i was loaded with a whole pile of backlogged cases that my colleague did not do. overnight, i have about 15 cases to handle. i noted that my colleague had been very disorganised and all her data was all over the place. even the form she designed was not robustly designed and so, i started to organise things. with a clear end in mind, i worked out a referencing system and started given case numbers to the cases and i told line managers that they should quote me these case numbers when talking to me about their recruitment needs. and as demanded, i cc my boss in my email. next thing i knew, i got an email chiding from him that i should not ask line managers to use case numbers and that i should talk to them person-to-person. these are people and we should talk to them direct and not ask them to quote case numbers, he chided me over the email. wtf... and the whole irony of asking me talk to people and not via email when he email such instructions to me.

• as mentioned, my colleague had a total of 5 cases that was surface since 2 weeks back but did not act on it and today, everything landed onto me. the line manager called and check on the decision cos she needed to reply to the manpower provided with an answer today. now the documentation was a mess other than an email that showed the department c-staff having approved it. i needed to sort out the documentation process before i process it further, but since the input was rather urgent, i went to my boss to seek his views and whether we can give an initial input to facilitate ground actions first. next thing i knew, i ended up with him giving me a 10min chiding as well as his unprofessional comments and snide remarks about line managers and the department c-staff. and as he chided, he got more and more angry and started banging table. i simply kept quiet and let him went on. and when he stopped, i tried to explain again. again, he was not receptive and continued scolding. this went on for another 10min before i decided it was futile to say anything further. i simply told him i'll get back to the line manager. moving ahead, i do see this happen again and again. but if it kept going on this way, i will simply ask the line manager to talk to him direct. i don't find myself value adding and it is so unproductive to always end up with him scolding despite checking...

what bloody nonsense right? *** boss. 

so what do you think *** should be?

mum's confusion

it is interesting to see mum getting all confused at about 9-10pm these couple of days. here's what happened...

there's a new mandarin tv series that started airing this week. this series is set in the early-60s and many of the scenes mirrored the environment and lives of singaporeans in the 60s. and yesterday, the story, set in 1967 (coinciding with me at one year of age), showed a man stealing a baby and trying to sell the baby for a certain amount of money. and when mum saw it, she was obviously affected. she started to relate how she was warned by my dad of people stealing babies and how she dare not take me out of the house. she said my dad had to work through the night and thus, being alone at home, she was constantly afraid of people coming into the house to take me away. she dare not even sleep and ended up staying up through the night to look after me. well, i could understand her fears cos i was the first and only son, and having lived through the kampong days, i knew how bad security was back then. anyway, after the show ended, she asked if i was heading out. and when i replied yes, she said i better stay home and not head out cos people could come and "carry me away" (kidnap me)! haha... quite funny actually. but when she said it, she sounded all so serious. and i had to tell her i am already a close-to-50 year old adult. even then, she insisted people will "carry me away". i simply told her to sleep and not worry.

and in today's show, one of the scene showed how the female lead character got kidnapped and in one particular scene, she was tied to a wooden pillar and her mouth was gagged. once again, mum seemed rather affected by the scene as she watched intently. after the show, she suddenly shuddered and said to me, someone just gagged me, i cannot recall, but i think someone just gagged me. i was like, huh? i knew straight away she was confused again and simply laughed it off as i assured her that there was no such thing and that it was a scene she saw on tv. she didn't seemed too convinced from what i could see. anyway, the maid laughed about it and repeated what i said. 

two days, two incidents and both showed similar behavioural patterns. regretful how it turned out this way but i guessed its part of the natural deterioration of her mental capacities. i can only assure her. she needs to manage herself mentally although i am not sure if she is able to. perhaps the best thing to do is to totally avoid such shows moving ahead...

ant-man - the movie

it wasn't as bad as some reviewers wrote actually. perhaps of my biological studies background, i actually found myself looking at details of the ants, their anatomy, their behaviour, and so on. so it was quite an interesting show for me. and frankly, i enjoyed it lots. 

ok, perhaps one little thought that crossed my mind as i was on my way home. what so "ant" about him? i mean, spiderman has a costume that had a spider motive, cat woman's costume made her look like one and she behaved like one, etc... and in this case, apart from his size and his ability to communicate with ants (which is engineered and not exclusive to him), there's not much other similarity... and his costume looked so, so... hmmm, cross between a diver and a mechanic.

anyway, lets not get too critical about such shows. its meant to be a comic after all. just go and enjoy it!

right?

jurong bird park

made my way there today with mum, maid, sis-in-law's mother and the 2 kids in tow. superbly tiring but of cos, i didn't complain as it was enjoyable. 

started off with a pleasant surprise that seniors go in for free. all part of celebrating seniors and their contributions to the country. and of cos, the next surprise i got was that i could get a year's membership for the price of one ticket. so i got myself a membership straight away. and then the third surprise... queued up at the tram station and realised i had purchased only 3 tickets (instead of 6). the crew looked at us and whispered to me, no worries, just hop on and enjoy. heh...

but of cos the real fun of it all was to be able to have the kids there and to be able to see things from their perspectives. very nice!

was a good sunday for me.

:-)

13 years

that is the number of years i have to work until i hit the mandatory retirement age, by today's limit of 62 years old. and if the government were to lift the retirement age to 65, i will have 16 years. judging by today's male mortality age of 76 years old, i can therefore expect to live an additional 11 years...

hmm... better find the time and efforts to really sit down and review my retirement sums.

the reality of reaching the end-point gets clearer with each passing year...

:-)

leave? what leave...

i have a total of 22 days leave per year. previously, under my previous 2 bosses, they have allowed me to head off to collect my mum's medication without having the need to apply leave. it's only for an hour or two, so no worries about it, they said. my ex-lady boss went as far as to offer me the flexibility to head off to bring her for medical reviews for full days without applying for leave. i know that even when you are away, you are technically still working, she said, knowing that i do log in to my email, clears my mail and continue thinking about my work even while away. i do not need you to be physically here to do your work. that was the past.

my current boss is the other extreme. to him, every minute not seen at work is considered waste of staff cost. and to put in perspective, every minute must be spend in the office to be considered "working". and even if you are in front of him, and if based on what he sees does not commensurate what he expects to see, he will conclude you are not working. so when he first came in and i shared with him the arrangements i had with my previous two bosses about the time off to take medication, he was very uncomfortable but said he will close an eye. now, noticing how he is about such time off, i have made it a point to apply for leave whenever i need to collect my mum's medication. 

it's 4 months into the workyear and i have consumed a third of my annual leave. extrapolating, it simply means i will have no leave for breaks. all my leave will be consumed just to attend to my mum's medical needs. this despite my utmost attempts to consolidate some of the appointments and stretch some so that i need not go so often. hmmm... not very nice right? if i were to continue at this rate, i will simply just end up burning myself out. not nice at all... 

but never mind. must not restrict my thinking to the 22 days. if need be, i shall take no pay leave. nothing's gonna stop me if i need my break.

:-)

happiness is... focused directions

early this week, i emailed my boss for his comments and directions of what i should do next following my submission of my proposal/ paper. and he replied - prepare a preso (presentation slides). what a weird direction from a senior person. he didn't seemed to understand my meaning of "directions". and then yesterday, he hurriedly came to me just before lunch and told me to head to the ceo's office. he wanted to see us about the paper, he said. and he scuttled off, with me trailing behind. 

walked into the very sparcely decorated, or to be exact, empty office, and we quietly took seat. my ceo looked up, made a comment that i had recognised the challenges and had articulated it well. and then he looked at my boss and went on to talk about the details of the paper. i can see you have tried to touch on every areas possible, but to me, it lacks focus. the specific initiatives will only impact a small percentage of people and in another word, it becomes somewhat of a conceptual exercise. result will not be impactful. had never seen my boss so meek before, docile and subservient to be exact. he tried to explain some of the points in the paper but as he tried to justify the points, he came across as he didn't know what was happening on the ground. i have given this directions since a few months back and i see nothing being done. this is not a big company and there is no point trying to do things like one. it won't work. i sensed a tinge of sarcasm as my boss was known to have come from a huge company some time back. and i know cos i came from one, my ceo added. my boss didn't add much as he simply listened. i noted there was no eye contact when he spoke with my ceo and i  sensed a little impatience in my ceo's tone.

my boss's behaviour took my by surprise, considering he has been totally gangsterish and aggressive all these while to people around him. but i supposed that's his usual behaviour in front of his bosses. a yes-man. and my ceo went on to give his views about the paper and the specific initiatives mentioned. and as he did so, i interjected to share my views and we debated about the pros and cons of each specific initiatives proposed. it was such a refreshing conversation, something that i didn't get a chance to do with my boss given his tendency to talk down on me, and i suspect he didn't have the capacity given his lack of ground feel. as i debated with my ceo, my boss just kept quiet and listened. and with the debate, the intent and focus of the paper became clear and with that the angling of each initiatives took alignment and directions become clear, it was soooooooo bloody clear. everything fell into place. we want to do this because of this, of that... and thus, this, this and this initiative is good but not important nor necessary in immediate future, for this, this, and this initiatives, they ought to be shaped like this and i want this, that, that, and this... and if i were you, my main focus of this paper should be this, that... and with that, he looked at my boss and quickly added, i am not the one who writes this paper and i will not force you to re-write, but when you present this during the meeting, i will simply share my thoughts as per what i had just shared, he said.

we thanked him for his comments and directions and headed back to my boss's office. he didn't seemed too pleased and commented that conceptually, what my ceo wanted was not the same as what he wanted and that my ceo simply wanted was to force us to commit to things that he wanted... was interesting to hear him share this thoughts but felt it was not professional. if he felt so strong about it, he should have just said it out. as for me, i did not see too huge a divergence in what they both wanted, but simply where the focus should be. i could see the middle-ground and i thought it was not difficult to manage. i simply told him i would review the paper and incorporate my ceo's views.

i felt so good, so refreshed and so energised by the clarity of thoughts, the robustness of the debate and directions that came out of the conversation. and it was such good experience to be able to hold such a professional conversation with my ceo. he had came across as cold and difficult since he came in last may and i didn't have the opportunity to interact much with him. i walked out of the whole experience feeling very good (and to a small extend, warply happy i had managed hold the conversation with my ceo better than my boss). it's gonna take quite a bit of efforts to reframe the paper but when directions are clear, it's not difficult.

:-)

stitches removed

decided to remove the stitches myself last night. didn't come across as a difficult task and certainly wanted to avoid the hassle of heading to the clinic this evening just to get it removed. the wound was healing well and the swell had subsided significantly. and visually, there were no signs of any infection. and my hands were also itchy and i was rather impatient about getting it off. so...

i did what i needed to do. took a shower, cleaned the area around the wound and then used a  pair of scissors to cut off one side of the thread and then pull it off from the other side. was painless but i must say my failing eyesight made it very difficult to me to see where i was cutting. but i got by, slowly and gingerly. and after that, apply some anti-bacteria cream to seal the "hole" and to prevent any possibility of infection. easy peesy.

:-)

testosterone

i do sometimes wonder if what i am experiencing is normal like what a man would experience when he goes through andropause. after all, i am reaching 49 end this year. i mean, i have heard that all woman go through menopause but not all men, technically speaking, go through similar. and i am wondering about it cos of all the physical signs i am myself experiencing - decreased energy levels, getting wider at the waist region, erections that are not as hard nor lasting, lethargy, overall lack of interest in things in general, etc etc etc... if i am indeed going through andropause, it would probably be "okay and normal" and there's nothing to be concerned about. but if i am having some form of testosterone deficiency, then it might be good to get it treated before it gets worst. such thoughts occur whenever i pass by this clinic that has this testosterone treatment posters pasted outside its wall.

should i check it out?

:-)

elderly sapphie

thought i'd capture this observation about sapphie. she's growing really old, and very fast too. it was not too long ago that i noted her increased incontinence and inability to go for long walks. but now, she trips when she walks and climbs stairs all the time, and she cannot hold her urine and bowels for more than a couple of hours. added to that, i think she is also experiencing arthritis - she has trouble transiting from standing to sitting and does it very very slowly. quite funny actually.

and technically, she's more than 100 years old (by human standards).

age... it does catch up with everyone, dogs too...

:-)

hair cut

gave mum a haircut yesterday. thought she'd look neater and probably better. always find myself not too happy with the end-result whenever she visited her hairdresser. i decided to observe how the hairdresser cut her hair once and realised that she'd first trim her hair, then perm it and after that, use the electric hand-razor (not too sure what's its call) to shape the head. terrible... end up with her hair all unevenly cut.

this time round, i decided to cut her hair myself. was glad she liked the outcome. wasn't able to perm her hair as i didn't have the required equipment and chemicals. but yeah... i think i should alternate the visits to the hairdresser (for the perm) and cutting her hair personally moving ahead.

:-)

still swollen

the knee is still swollen and it's painful to walk. otherwise, the wound is healing well. just need to be careful not to bend the knees too much and avoid walking too far. cannot afford a tear at this point of time. 

:-)

proposal completed (for now)

finally submitted the final draft of the proposal to my boss today. a close-to-60-page document. whew! been one helluva ride since i started writing it 2 months ago. writing a proposal with no clear directions and being led all over the place aimlessly was really challenging. to make things worst, he threw in lots of "designer words" that didn't make sense to me but insisted that i should expand on. i tried to ask him to clearly explain what he meant by the words but he went round and round and in the end, i had to second guess what he wanted. nonetheless, i believed i got by cos he didn't bring it up further. when i mailed him the first draft last week, he forwarded it to all my fellow managers and asked for me to arrange a session to discuss the proposal. "i expect everyone to read the proposal and give your comments" he commanded in the email to them. 

the meeting was convened tuesday and everyone gave their views about it. in fact, everyone was so enthusiastic with their comments that even before i got to the crux of the proposal, comments were already flying. i had to repeatedly remind them that i will cover the points in due course. the thing i didn't like about such sessions was that people tend to be too fast and frivolous with their comments and ended up sounding like they were trying to score brownie points. and it didn't help for the fact that many of the comments were brought up by my boss' favourite person (the one that i screamed at previously). but i didn't defend any of my content except to say that all views were most welcome to allow me to make the paper more robust. and i put what i learned about opposing views to the test - instead of saying "but", use "and". i'd go something like, yes i can understand where you are coming from... "and" i also think (then add my opposing view). it makes the conversation sound more accommodating and less confrontational. i was rather surprised when my boss agreed with my responses and at the end of the 3-hour discussion, he commented that a lot of work has gone into it and that there was really no specific area where a person could find fault with it. well, at least he acknowledged it, i thought. but before we finally closed the discussion, he made a last comment that the fundamental basis of why i had written the proposal was not clear to him and threw in another "designer word" and said that i needed to explain it. and yet again, he couldn't provide a clear articulation of exactly what he meant and how i should present it. i simply responded by saying i'd try to frame something out of it.

i really dislike trying to second guess what people want. it is frustrating to hear such demands when asked, they couldn't express nor explain they meant clearly. in the end, i decided to abandon the efforts of trying to second guess his words and simply frame what i thought was necessary and logical, and just go with my instinct. in the end, i dropped all his "designer words" and simply used my own, even adding a footnote here and there that "some organisations" had used "these designer words" erroneously. but i think it worked cos when i send him my final draft yesterday, he didn't challenge me nor make any further comments at all (like he always do) and simply accept it. admittedly, i wasn't totally convinced of the flow of what i sent to him cos after i incorporated all my manager's comments, the flow of the paper went off. i made a final reframing of the paper and resubmitted my final draft to him late this afternoon. 

he has yet to get back to me. that should be good news, i guess. and as for me now, i just want to sleep properly. been having sleepless nights due to this stupid proposal.

:-)

3 stitches

lifted my leg to get into the bath tub and ended up hitting my left knee against the marble vanity top. the impact so great that it dislodge the marble. but i didn't feel anything and next thing i knew my whole leg was full of blood that kept flowing and flowing. i saw a deep gash on my knee cap. it was whitish inside and blood was flowing out non-stop. took a hand towel and applied pressure onto the wound but it was no use. the blood continued to flow and a puddle of blood had formed. out of some minor desperation, i pinched the wound, holding the two flaps of skin together. the whole process to arrest the bleeding took me about 5min. but it seemed forever.

went to the clinic to have the wound stitched up. i knew i will continue to bleed if i leave it as it was. the areas around the wound was badly swollen by then. the doctor cleaned it and sewed me up. it was helluva painful despite the anasthesia injection. i had 3 stitches in all. and he gave me a tetanus jab too. just for precaution. 

need to return next thursday to remove the stitches.

what luck!

bak chang 2015

yup, finally did it - 2 weeks late. but it was good. in fact, i personally felt this was my best effort, felt the outcome was good enough to pass the first batch to my neighbour. this time round, i did things slightly differently. i added the coriander powder direct into the glutinous rice. here's how i prepared the rice this year - blended the garlic till very fine and fry it in oil, stir until until you can smell the garlic fragrance, add the packet of coriander powder and continue frying it lightly (not too long else it'll turn bitter), throw in the rice, fry it a bit and then add water (that was earlier boiled with pandan leaves). here's the updated recipe. 

meat
4kg of meat (wu hua rou)
300g of heh bee (dried shrimps soaked for 3 hours)
1 large packet (300g) dried shiitake mushroom (soaked overnight & sliced)
15 large onions (diced)
10 garlics (chopped)
250g of sweetened preserved winter melon (diced 5mm)

seasonings for meat
2 packets of coriander powder
white pepper powder (to taste)
200g of white sugar
light soya sauce (to taste)
dark soya (to taste and to colour)
50 mil of sesame oil
50 mil of oil (vegetable)
50 mil of lard (optional)
1 tablespoon msg (optional)

rice
5kg of glutinous rice (soaked for 3 hours)

seasonings for rice
white pepper powder (to taste)
10 mil of sesame oil
20 mil of oil (vegetable)
10 garlics (chopped)
1.5 tablespoon salt (or to taste)
1 packet of coriander powder
oyster sauce (to taste) (optional)
half cup gravy from the cooking of the meat (optional if coriander powder is used)
1 tablespoon msg (optional)
pandan leaves (about 7, cut 5cm long and sliced vertically) or...
pandan leaves (2-3 stalk, cut into short strips, placed into about 500ml of water and bring to boil)

others
120 bamboo leaves (washed in hot water and soaked overnight)
rafia strings (tied into 10s of 50cm long) (1 roll makes about 12 bundles of 10s)
pandan leaves (2 stalks) cut to 2cm strips (for inserting into the dumplings)

minions - despicable prequel

it was minions overdose. and frankly, apart from a few laughs here and there, the whole "funniness" died off after a while and in no time, i was yawning. it's almost like you cum "earthquakingly" the first time, the intensity of it all, and then the second time, the intensity dropped, and by the x-th time, you're simply jerking off because you were trying to see what's your highest record... there wasn't even a tremor, much less an earthquake.

ok, i am not sure what i am talking about now.

but i supposed you get the idea.

:-)

打小人

i brought mum to the temple this afternoon. it was a taoist temple where mum had given me to the resident god as his godson since i was a small boy. have visited this temple almost monthly since then.

next week is the annual commemoration of the deity's birthday and it's been my routine to pay my respects and to replace my talisman that i carry in my wallet day-in and day-out, 24/7. and as usual, i made my rounds to pray to all the different deities at the temple. and when i reached the tiger god (the one that people would go to to seek assistance to ward of evil and all bad stuff), i found myself asking for divine assistance to negotiate this particular difficult person at work - i was, of course, referring to my boss. and the instinctive thought that cross my mind at that very moment was the picture of a person going through the process to 打小人. this is also known as "hitting the villain" and refers to how one would use a paper effigy to represent the bad person and use a slipper or hit it (see this link to read the details). lol!

well, i am not superstitious nor do i really believe in this whole praying for divine assistance per se cos i am buddhist and i believe in self-efforts. but as i have previously blogged, i do respect such taoist practice given i was brought up in a taoist environment, such practices have naturally become part of my routine. heh... 

but seriously, i do really really hope i do not get continuous shit from this person.

:-)

week of monies

i felt rich when i got my bonus although the amount was not much compared to my previous companies. but still, money is money, one can never get enough of it right? haha... and then almost immediately, i got my income tax statement, my road tax, my mum's monthly bill for the rehab centre, my quarterly invoice for my estate maintenance and my monthly visa bills. and after paying all these, i realised i have lost all of my bonus and have to further dig into my savings. doh!

haha. then again, if not for the bonus, i would have felt even poorer!

lol!

from the heart

it was such a refreshing change to get something that reminds me of the past. it was so heart-warming. you see, a blogger friend visited me over the last weekend and before he parted, he passed me a pink plastic bag that was printed with some chinese shop name on its exterior. this was the type of plastic bag that shops in singapore used when i was a kid. it looked really retro, i thought. "this is for you", he said and he thanked me for hosting him. he added that it contained some rice from his hometown. i didn't know how to respond initially cos i didn't expect anything in the first place, much less a packet of (uncooked) rice. 

giving rice was something i see when i was a kid but not in recent years. and this practice has been lost in the younger generations these days in singapore. my first reaction was "oh, thanks! so tell me, what's so special about the rice?" haha... in my state of surprise, my mind instinctively triggered this verbal response. asking about gifts i received was something i do all the time to show my interest as a gesture of appreciation. but this time round, given that it was a packet of rice, i thought i sounded quite stupid. my question must have surprised him but he was rather nice about it. "it's locally grown and produced and it's very fragrant", he answered and shared with me how to cook the rice. as i haven't gotten over my surprise, i could only thank him again.

i felt rather stupid after dropping him off. and when i reached home, i noted there was also a packet of grounded pepper inside the plastic bag. i lifted the plastic bag up and realised how heavy the rice was. it must have been quite an effort for him to carry it all the way from his country. felt really touched by this gesture of his. 

thank you my friend.

:-)