wisdom

had taken the phrase `with age, come wisdom' as the `truth' without asking too much about it. my doubts about this phrase started when james disagreed with it and that led to quite a lengthy debate about it. left me hanging and reflecting on it for quite a while. i had no answers and had left it as it was. after breaking up with james and learning lifes' lessons, i reframed it as `with experience comes wisdom'.

a recent exchange with friend led me to reframe the phrase to `wisdom comes from living'... for only through living life will the experience be acquired. knowledge acquired through books is nothing but just knowledge.

:-)

thinking of james

a friend (cannot recall if it was francis or dennis) recently asked me: "do you still think of james?..."

of course, i think of him. for that matter, i think of him almost everyday. to me, james was, and still is, a part of me and a part of my family. and it is not easy not to think of your family right? after spending 7 years together, it is impossible to just cut someone off. even if one wants to. for me, no matter what, he will always be there and he will always be a very dear person to me. that we are apart does not mean i do not think of him anymore. and thinking of james does not mean i love my bee bee any less too.

when he came to get his stuff from the house last weekend, it was a feeling of awkwardness for me where on one hand, i very much want to talk and chat with him, and for that matter, even give him a super super tight hug. i so very much wanted that. but on the other hand, i had to restrain myself cos of the presence of a self-imposed invisible wall. i mean, if i were to hug, how would he take to it, how would his bf take to it... etc... and things were moving based on some unsaid common understanding of each other's moves, thinking and so on. and i thought i sensed his momentary awkwardness in managing jack and me too. if so, it was natural and to be expected i guess.

i would have behaved similarly if bee was around.

i need rest

been a totally exhausting week, both mentally and physically. just completed conducting a major assignment for my students over the last two days and each day, it ended up coming home at past 12midnight. the mental worries about the systems, the process, the conduct, la la la coupled with all the additional worries about home, about my mum, my dad... etc really got to me.

have started coughing and loosing my voice. this is the clearest sign that my system is breaking down very soon. i need to really recuperate and rest over this weekend cos next two weeks will be another stressful one before the current term ends.

awake

it is coming to 1.30am... and i am still wide awake. physically and mentally i am really tired. but still, i am not able to sleep...

i am so gonna hate the feeling at 6.15am later...

and considering it is the start of a new school term, the traffic's gonna be one helluva kind! arghhh!

james & jack

finally had the chance to meet jack. i did not feel awkward when it came to meeting jack. but it did certainly make me a bit more conscious about how i should behave when it came to james. and the fact that i am james' ex must have made it somewhat awkward for him. anyway, i am glad i got to meet him.

anyway, james came along. looked at the humongous lot of stuff, sifted thru some of them. selected quite a few boxes and together with jack, carried them to the estate rubbish dump and threw them away. for a moment, i felt angry. angry that he threw away those stuff that i had preserved and kept for him. all the things that i had cleaned and maintained over time. well, granted some of them had turned mouldy, but... and there were some stuff like printers and cork-boards that he asked if i wanted. i told him to throw them away if he does not need them anymore. so in the end, they moved some of the stuff back, left 8 boxes for the movers to move and a few boxes of stuff to be discarded. took me a while to throw them away. they were heavy. but it was the weight in my heart that weighed me down when i carried them to the estate rubbish dump.

well, there were some stuff that james wanted to bring home... and jack asked - why? when will u ever use them?... instinctively, i wanted to react - hey, that's james' stuff and there are certain things that you cannot dictate.. esp things that we bought together... it's kinda weird, but that is the kinda feeling that i still get when i felt challenged. for that moment, i hated jack.

but haha, he is after all, james' bf now. he wouldn't know the history behind each of the object that had been packed. anyway, there is only so much i can say and there is only so much right i have as an ex. i have to let go. and yup, as dennis rightly said, it's kinda weird moving one's ex things out of the house. but in a way, it's liberating...

ps: there was one particular photo of james and i, taken when he graduated that i had wanted to keep but dare not ask. initially he wanted to throw it away, but in the end, he took the box home, saying that he wanted to sift thru the stuff... that is probably one of the very very few photos we ever take together as a couple...

storeroom

james' things have been kept in the storeroom over the past 3 years. the room has finally been cleared and they are all placed in the living room. reflecting, the storeroom had in fact been a place where i had stored all the memories and artifact of our 7-yr relationship. as i packed, each piece of stuff remind me of specific incident, specific time of the 7 year, of his face, his moods, etc...

everything just simply flashed by.

he will be collecting some of the stuff today. jack will be helping him. and i think he will probably throw away quite a bit of stuff and leave some of the boxes to be collected another day. there are just too many things to be moved.

my mum asked innocently this morning - how come only you are doing the packing? how come james did not come and help, since it is all his stuff...

well...

managing stress

i noticed that over the last two weeks, each and everyone of us in the family has been under some sort of stress over my dad's conditions. without making any judgments of them, i would say that each of us has managed it differently.

• my mum. she has been having sleepless nights just worrying about my dad. asked her if she was able to sleep well now that my dad is away in hospital, she replied that she had not been able to sleep worrying about his swollen leg, worrying about his liver cancer... putting myself in her shoes, i can understand her worries. it must have been difficult for her to manage the stress and accepting the eventuality that my dad's time will come soon.

• my sisters. they have been doing what they can by visiting my dad. there is really not much they can do. can sense that they are loosing their temper faster these days. certainly don't like to get into the situation where differences in opinions end up with tensions, just like the way my eldest sis had responded when i shared with her my concerns of hiring a maid. sighs...

• my (ex) bro. he has been visiting dad at the hospital daily to bathe him and to see him. he is the closest to my dad. i think he will probably be the hardest hit when my dad passes away. and i think i will have the greatest tensions with him when it comes to managing the funeral and stuff.

• me. personally, don't find it easy. sensing that everyone is assuming i am unfeeling about my dad's condition. seemed like my acceptance of his eventual demise as a natural development of things has been perceived as me not caring. and it gets more and more difficult to communicate with all of them.

guess we all have our own ways of managing stress. it's so difficult and i find myself treading a very fine line between communicating objectively and sounding uncaring when it comes to my own family members.

packing james' stuff

went to ikea to purchase packing boxes and spent the whole evening packing james' books, files and so on. filled the 8 huge boxes i purchased and it's still not enough to completely pack his stuff. plus all the other boxes that i had packed 2 years back, coupled with the clothes etc,... it came up to about 20 boxes. each about 30kg.

a lot i must say. but well, it's accumulated over 7 years.

felt rather down and glum as i went about packing. not a sense of catharsis. rather, it was a sense of lost. felt like i'm finally cutting off a part of me, for good. my mum sat by me, looking on as i packed. she did not utter a single word. she knew it was james' stuff. and somehow, i sensed she understood how i felt. for a moment, it felt like i was clearing stuff of someone who had left me for good, someone who had died. but i dare not say it out. lest she equates it to preparing for my dad's passing. well, i have to be sensitive during this period. and as i packed, i cried a silent tear.

and sapphie behaved weird too, she'd usually prance around as i do my housework. but this time round, she just sat there. glum-faced. and just stared at me as i move in and out, carrying box after box. she has this uncanny ability to sense my moods.

ah well... all good things must end. and this finally, would be the finale and closure of one chapter of my life.

graduate

received a letter today that stated that i have been formally conferred the masters of arts in instructional designs and technology wef 10 june 2008.

it's a nice little morale booster amidst all the stress these couple of weeks.

:-)

peaceful sleep

told my mum to sleep well last night. she has not been sleeping well and my dad's hospitalisation would allow her some uninterrupted sleep.

for me, i was hoping to sleep well too. but the sleep was interrupted by a series of dreams. there were several dreams in all. but i remembered one - in my dream, i was in a flat (not too sure which flat tho) and checking out on the clothes hanger outside - the prefabricated ones that is often seen outside those hdb public housing. and when i reach out to check how stable the hanger was, i fell out of the window and ended up hanging precariously on the hanger. i screamed for help. the flat was rather high up (5? 10 floors?). a fall would mean immediate death for me. the hanger was slippery and at one point, one of my hand slipped. and i could feel myself loosing grip. my mum was too weak to help me, much less to pull me in. and somehow my brother appear. he was initially unwilling to help but after sometime, he reached out with his hand. i grapped it and it was cold and lifeless. that was the time i woke up.

i fell asleep again... and the next thing i knew, something in me shook me up. it was daybreak and the room i woke up to was in shades of grey. being short sighted and not wearing my specs, everything was blur... and for that split second, i couldn't recognize my own room. and then i panicked. i shouldn't be still in bed. i should be at work... i wanted to get up. but it was one of those occasion when you wanted desperately to get up but your body just wouldn't listen... struggles... and then, something in me told me to relax and sleep cos it is the weekend...

arghhh... hate it when i experience such nites...

creating capacity

for a start, i have decided to create the capacity to manage eventualities.

firstly, need to find the space. after holding on for 3 years, i finally messaged james to clear the storeroomful of his stuff. never want to do this. but urgent time calls for emergency measures. don't feel good about it. and i hope he understands.

secondly, i need to find the solution to manage my dad when he returns from hospital - probably next week. if i cannot find a domestic help in time, i should at least teach my mum how to call for an ambulance if the need arises...

thirdly... i need to think through my financial options and how to source for the cash needed to support these new requirements.

fourthly, hmmm... still thinking... well, it helps to write. it helps to consolidate my thoughts. passing thought... how to find ways to sustain and to support my own mental state of affairs?...

breathless

breathless - from several angles...

my dad was found having breathing problems today after lunch and my mum panicked. she didn't know how to call any of us. luckily she managed to call my aunt who in turn activated the ambulance. in the end, my dad was evacuated and hospitalised. apparently, he had refused to eat the food my mum prepared cos he said it tasted bland (no salt added upon medical advise). coupled with his refusal too to drink, he ended up getting dehydrated and a chain reaction occurred. it was lucky that he was evacuated fast enough.

my 2nd aunt called yesterday and suggested that i hire a maid to look after my dad. seriously, i am in a fix. on one hand, there is insufficient space in the house now. and on the other hand, financially, i am not able to afford it... more important to me, i felt that hiring a maid will not solve the problem of helping my dad as he is simply too heavy and difficult to look after. so, i might end up having a liability instead. the whole issue of thinking what's a workable solution to manage my dad is really a strangle. and it does not help that my siblings do not seem to want to talk and that every time we talk, we end up feeling very tense.

my work has been ending very late recently and all the additional tasks given to me has added a strain to me. and i am literally trying very hard to take a breather now... added to this, i am also feeling the stress about the impending career switch... argh!!!

i am feeling very stressed now and i do not know what to do...

!!!

the lady lays...

received an sms from lp two days back. she was telling me how down she felt when she learned that one of her relative and another one of her friend had been diagnosed with cancer. told her to accept it and to move on. and added that she should not be too affected by it... well, she told me that i cannot understand how she felt. for me, it was a rather interesting to read that reply given that i had only last week received news of my dad's cancer.

anyway, didn't feel the need to tell her about it. yesterday, somehow, i decided to tell her and she was shocked. and today, lk smsed. think she felt kinda apologetic for not catching up for a while. and when she learned of my dad's cancer, she thought it was high time to talk. and as we spoke, i began to appreciate the long time lag since we last had a good talk... it must have been half a year or more cos i realized she was not aware of what happened between me and my bro (or rather, ex-bro), the frequent bouts of issues with my dad's health, and so on...

nonetheless, i must say that it certainly felt good to be able to talk to her after all these while.

:-)

long days

this period one of the most trying period for the course we are managing now in college and that our students would stay late almost every night. last couple of weeks, i've been getting home rather late - at time 12-ish nightly. this week, it averaged about 9pm. very tiring. but my consolation is that this will be the last time i'll be involved in such a long teaching hours. at least in the context of what i am doing now. cos come end this year, i'd have left my set-up. for good.

so, well, i'm putting in my last bit of effort to make sure everything goes well.

think i'll miss this kinda work in future...

twice tis morning

understood from my mum that my dad fell twice last morning, very very early in the morning. and last night, my dad had woken up my mum a couple of times to bring him to the toilet - to pee, shit and to bath... in the middle of the night.

and i am worried. my mum has been on lifelong medication for her depression and she has to have regular sleep every nite. whenever she has anything less than her routine 8pm to 4.30/ 5am duration, she'll experience bad headache and fall sick easily. so, hopefully, last nite's experience with my dad getting her up at 10plus, 11plus and so on is a one off thing. else, not only will my dad be the only one sick in the house, my mum will also join him in no time...

discharged

dad was discharged from hospital today.

retiring

it's confirmed. i retire this 17 dec. and altho it has been something i had planned, somehow after today's interview, i end up feeling unwanted. a bit of a lousy feeling.

you see, my boss has been asking me to consider extending my service or even staying in the capacity of a non-uniformed personnel but in a higher appointment. i have time and again told him that i do not wish to do so and that given my security office's presence bugging me, i had made a commitment to myself that i will leave once i get my full retirement benefits at the end of this year. in my last chat with him, he asked if i would reconsider my options if he could get the security office to `leave me alone'. i told him it was not likely but if he wanted to check, he could do so. in all, the interview lasted close to 2 hours as he wanted to convince me why i should consider staying with the college and how i can help him fulfill some of the stuff he needed to get done.

today, i was again called up to his office. the interview was rather short and sharp. interview with my boss has always been very mechanical. being a practical person as he has always been, interviews are about how to get things done (his way). it was the same the last time and it was the same today. when i walked into his office today, the first thing i was told was that it was to get the formality of my interview and filling in of all the forms he needed to fill done with. secondly, he would just want to update me that my security was not ready to `leave me alone'. and this meant that come 17 dec this year, i will retire. we then went on to talk a bit about career transition and how i need sometime to manage my eventual departure from service. that was it. the interview took no more than 10min.

as i said, altho i had always planned for my departure this year, it felt somewhat better when i was the one doing the rejection. and somehow, after today's interview, i have been made to feel that i am the one being rejected. and it was because of my sexuality.

and the feeling was not too nice. it's regrettable that this should be how i end my 23-year profession with an organisation that i have grown up with an given my life to, and one that i have served - with all my commitments, blood, tears, sweat and all. now, for my part, i can only say that there is no point talking feeling sentimental about. no point talking about professionalism. no point talking about loyalty. all these ideals exist in theory. in real life, things are not the same, once you are gay. for in the end, it is about each one for himself. screw all the organisational ideals and vision and yadda yadda yadda...

time to really wake up and start looking at my own needs.

aging sapphie

observed something new about sapphie today. walked out of the bedroom and she continued lying. it was very unusual as she would usually sit up or at least look up when i walk out of my bedroom. perhaps she's just tired from the evening walk. but considering the walk was short and not as vigorous as her usual walks, i am more inclined to think it's due to her age.

have observed over the past months how she is increasingly prone to sprains, gets tired more easily, appearance of white fur on her face and tail amidst her brown/ blackish base as well as her increasing inability to keep up to the usual pace of runs/ jogs. and of late, her breathe had started to smell... and when i checked her teeth, i noted it has started to yellow - well, considering her age, her teeth can considered to have lasted very well (guessed my regularly removal of the tartar helped).

come this nov, she'll be 10 years old. that means, in human years, she about 65 years old now. old dog and getting older seven times faster than any of us humans... but for now, she's considered very healthy. and i hope she will continue to be so.

sapphie in her diva sleeping/ lazing posture...

:-)

rantings abt nothing

just want to write something but really didn't know what to write. there are too many bite-size things in my mind that i can think of to write... so i decide to about why spending meaningful time needs not be expensive... it's about how i spent my weekend. here goes...

• we met up with schneider for some drinks last evening at serangoon gardens. it was a simple impromptu evening that was arranged due to a last minute cancellation of another plan. we were lucky that schneider had just finished his dragon boat training and had no plans. two bottles of this sparkling white wine (cannot recall the name), pistachios and cuttlefish... simple. but we really enjoyed the experience. the ability to just talk, no walls, no worries about agendas and stuff... just let it flow. unpretentious. no stress. in a way, that's wat weekends are supposed to be. drinking wine with friends can be such a nice, personal and meaningful thing.

• been a long time since i brought my mum out for dinner. and last evening, i had the chance to do it. dad was in hospital and it was a good opportune to bring her out for dinner. so, we brought her to manis manis at turf city. nice simple indonesian restaurant. unpretentious. simple layout. it was relatively cheap and food was good. and we all enjoyed it. and i could see her feeling good about being able to have some good restaurant food for a change. nice.

• bunny arranged for a small get-together at kok's place for bak chang (made by kok's mum when she visited him last week) this afternoon. again, a simple no frills gathering of bunny, bee, kok and i and we simply chatted, watched some dumb taiwanese comedy and dvds. very nice to be able to catch up with them after so long.

• bee had father's day dinner with his family. mum had her char siew rice. and so i had time to myself this evening. i decided to bring sapphie out for a walk. simple one-hour walk to the expo and back. as usual, she was jumping for joy for being able to leave the house. for me, it was one of those few occasions where i could walk her and under no pressure to need to rush home for whatever reasons (such as buy dinner, appointments, etc etc etc)

such was the weekend for me this week. it revolved around friends and family. simple. no frills. but very fulfilling and meaningful.

:-)

debts

this month, for my very first time, i experience owing people money. i have not really managed my money well this time round. guessed my preoccupations with my studies and work had distracted me from these issues and that by the time i start looking into it, it was too late. this was made worst by my over-commitment of my cash to partially repay my housing loans last month. i need to wait for my july bonus to clear off these issues. but for now, it's overwhelming and it's stressful. sighs...

housing loans, income tax, road tax, car insurance, annual insurance payment, regular monthly bills, hospital bills, medical bills for parents all come at the same time...

my dad & my family relations

my mum told me that over the past couple of days my brother (or rather, my (ex) brother) had visited my dad in the hospital and that my dad had given word that should he die, he wants my brother not to quarrel with me. my brother has also told my mum that if my dad were to pass away, he (my brother) would want the wake to be held at his place and that the wake would be done over 3 days. might as well. this fits in very nicely that my brother is closer to my dad and that i had all along wanted him to participate in decision making with regards managing my dad. that he has stated a plan meant that i will not need to think about it and consult him for anything that i plan is perceived by him to be laden with some underlying selfish agenda. i told my mum that whatever the plan, i am fine with it and that i do not want to be seen to be making decisions regarding my dad and his funeral single-handedly.

my brother's relationship with me and my siblings, has never been the best. functional at best, if i may describe. things got a bit worst ever since my dad moved in to my house. you see, my dad would chat with my brother daily over the phone and would tell him of all the happenings in the day with regard me and my sisters. and so, my brother's picture of what happened in my family, the state of family relations, and how we are treating him had all been painted by my dad. and given that my dad likes to lie and whine (whether it is intentional, i don't know, or perhaps it is only about him stating half truth, or simply see things from his perspectives...), my brother's picture of the daily happenings and how we are treating him has always been nothing short of bad. and due to this, for the longest time ever, my brother has been suspicious of us and our actions when it comes to my dad. one thing certain is that he believes i ill-treat my dad and enjoys restricting him. how bad this situation was only became clear in feb when he burst out at me. given this misinterpretation of my words and actions, i have since minimized interacting with my dad. i concluded that to resolve the tension, it would be necessary to minimize any contact with him. and true enough, since then, things in the family has been very very calm.

from my conversation with my mum this morning, i could sense that she hoped i will talk to my dad but on the other hand, she understood that if i were to do so, he might just make the relations between me and my siblings worst. i also found out to my horrors that my dad has, despite all the advise against eating unhealthy food too often, been phone-ordering for kfc and drinking coke/pepsi regularly. this was despite advise by doctors and my mum about the dangers of overloading his system with too much oil, salt and unhealthy chemicals. what she said confirmed my suspicions that his worsening liver and kidney conditions was due to his diet. this was, also confirmed by the consultant that we must, at all cost, reduce his salt and oil intake. let's hope he can take heed now that the doctor has explicitly spoken. there is really nothing more i can do if he refuse to take this advise and continue to fuss about food and phone-ordering kfcs again.

well... whatever the case, at this point in time, i only want things to be quiet and peaceful in the family. my dad has been doing more harm to our family than he realized since we were young. he continues to do so today. since i have minimized talking to him, a few good things has happened. for once, as i said, things have been more peaceful. secondly, my brother has taken the lead to make decisions. these, to me, are positive signs. i will continue to minimize talking to my dad. as for my brother, i cannot change the mental model or perceptions of my brother nor i do not wish to do so. i will move on my independent way once my parents leave us. and our paths will not cross anymore.

as for my dad and his health, none of us can help him anymore if he refuse to help himself.

to do or not to do...

it's about dad again. he has once again been warded in cgh over the past few days. the consultant attending to him had asked to see all of us (his children) today. and as explained, dad has been found to have liver cancer. about 5cm at this point and likely to have spread to the nearby blood vessels. as to spreading to other parts of the body, it was not too apparent at this point in time.

there is no way to cure him except to slow down the process or limit the growth of the cancer. and to do this, there were limited options too. surgery and other invasive procedures are not advised due to his liver condition and his age. and oral medication and cutting off the cancerous growth using laser is not possible due to the extent of the growth. the only possible way that could slow down the growth would be to do this procedure called `tace'. it involves cutting a slit at his groin area, inserting a tube to the growth and injecting some chemicals to it. there might be a need to do 4-6 of such procedures. and to test the effectiveness of tace, there is a need to inject some dye into his body each time he undergo the procedure before deciding if he should go for another tace. and the catch here is, every step of this procedure come with some risk. and given that he has weak kidneys, the injection of the dye might cause the kidneys to fail...

tricky. devil and the deep blue sea. according to the consultant, he has perhaps a year or less to live if he remains as he is. if he undergo tace and is successful, he can possibly live another 3-4 years. if not, perhaps a year or less. but if complication sets in during the tace process, he might end up worst than not doing... tough decision. in the end, we decide that he should be referred to the national cancer center for further opinions and advise before deciding on the next step.

tace: transarterial chemoembolization, it is a procedure in which the blood supply to a tumor is blocked (embolized) and chemotherapy is administered directly into the tumor. used to treat liver cancer (definition from medicinenet.com)

results

these are the results for my final two modules! hurray! very nice end to the whole two years of hard work!

:-)

bak chang!!!

finally completed the packing of the bak chang (bak as in `meat' and chang as in `dumpling' in hokkien) for this year! my nieces came along to help. they simply love the packing and are quite expert in it. in time to come, i hope they will be able to cook the ingredients too! the thought of being able to share the recipe and transfer this know-how to the next generation really thrills me! preserving part of my culture and heritage! nonya bak chang! this year, i think we must have packed close to 200 bak changs!

also, this time round, i did several new things. they include - cooking the rice together with pandan leaves to improve the aroma of the rice, using sesame oil to cook the rice, and of course, photographing the whole bak chang making process. hopefully, the photographs will help my nieces visualize and better learn the cooking process sometime!

:-)

bak chang again

this is the bak chang season again and this year, i will be making 4kg of rice. that should be about close to 200 dumplings. anyway, have cooked the meat this whole afternoon and have also updated my recipe! will work on the rice tomorrow and start the wrapping.

think it's gonna take me a whole day! but, i am enjoying every bits of it!

:-)

hospital

dad was discharged today after 3 days in hospital. was informed to pick him up in the morning. before his discharge, the doctor informed me that he has a growth in his liver and that this growth seemed malignant, i.e, cancerous. anyway, given his age and his liver condition, he will not be suitable to undergo an op. instead, the doctor suggested doing a local incision and inserting a tube to his liver where they will try to suture the artery that supplies blood to the cancerous areas. in doing so, they hope to be able to kill the cells. success rate not very clear but that seemed to be one of the only way available for him. even then, i was told, it would be quite a tricky thing considering my dad's kidneys are also failing...

to go back as an outpatient and to discuss further this option in 2 week's time.

frankly, i took this news very calmly. rather numbed i must say of all these news, be it for myself, my mum or my dad. just take it in a matter of fact manner. will wait and see...

more fishes

5 out of the 8 oranda goldfishes bee bee and i bought had died. this happened when my dad, at the spur of the moment, decided that he should save electricity for me, and switched off the water pump. when i returned from work some 6 hours later, 5 of them were already lifeless and floating. the other 3 were almost dead and were struggling for air, and swimming upside down. managed to start the pump and saved them. that was about 2.5 weeks back.

today, decided that the time is ripe to top up the fishes again and decided to get 1 red goldfish (oranda) (this is to top up the remaining 3 to 4), 4 white goldfishes and 4 black goldfishes. so, in all, i now have 12 goldfishes :-) and they look very happy and lively. and no, i was not too perturbed about the 4-4-4 combination. most important, they look nice. very nice :-)

and i am sure my dad would never ever dare touch my fish tank again!

kung fu panda

i simply loved this show. amazing animation. and for the first time after goodness knows when, i laughed till my tummy ached!

:-)

sex n the city

watched sex and the city: the movie (the hbo website) last evening. bee bee really enjoyed it. guessed he found it refreshing and rather liberating. for me, having watched and followed the series some years back when i was in states, i found the show very `sitcomy' and the storyline kinda expected, somewhat cinderella-like, very `and they lived happily ever after', very cliche. no big deal. really. nonetheless, it was fun. it was entertaining. it was a nice wrap-up to the series. and it certainly brought back a lot of memories of the times i spent in florida and new york city. thinking aloud, i think the title should be changed to sexless in the city...

and oh... it would be real nice if someone start a new series called dante's peak... you know what i mean... hmmmm... lol!

:-)

phuket 2008

nouns
airport, aeroplane, partner, lover, boyfriend, andaman beach suites, welcome signs, tv shows, national geographic, cartoon networks, breakfast, omelette, danish, ham, pancakes, maple syrup, orange juice, bee hoon, fried rice, ugly indian couple who argued with hotel staff to get free breakfast and then pile their plates like mount everest, library, patong, tee shirts, indian shops, tudung-clad women, caps, sarongs, bang la street, drag queens, gay men, cute doggie, thai food, phad thai, tom yam koong, tom yum plaa, grilled prawns, morning glory aka kangkong, seafood, italian food, pizza, fettucine, white wine, chang beer, cocktails, peanuts, thai desserts, stale durians, rain, phuket royal marina, sea sick pills, tour guide lek, sponsored flippers, snorkels, koh phi phi, koh phi phi lay, koh phi phi don, koh khai nok, umbrellas, another ugly rude indian couple who quarrel with tour guide, smoke on boat and bitch about buffet lunch, corals, parrot fishes, urchins, sponges, beaches, suntan, fruits, pineapple biscuits, tsunami signs, bakery, shopping, sports shops, foot massage, ice creams, swensens, haagen dasz, rude immigration officers, silkair 

adjectives
tiring, sleepy, surprised, fun, chaotic, expensive, exorbitant, shiok, bland, tasty, chao sng (stale), irritated, relaxing, exciting, new, sexual, restful, refreshing, refreshed

verbs
sleeping, reading, listening, eating, walking, shopping, swimming, suntanning, lazing, looking, seeing, cruising, snorkeling, island hopping

:-)