Sunday, 24 March 2019

My Funeral (updated 2019)

Ever since my heart procedure, I have been very much more conscious about my own mortality. I make it a point to whatsapp people who matter to me - just to say "Hi" and to thank them for anything that I feel deserves my appreciation. And the possibility of not being able to wake up when I fall asleep, or to suddenly get a heart attack, etc become very real. And it is with this thought that I am, once again, updating how I want my funeral to be done. It's not morbid to me, it is a responsible thing to do. The last time I did this was in 2011.

And reading that post, I must say that much of what I wrote back then still applies. Here're the salient points - in its most simple form, i should just be cremated once i passed on. No frills. But I know this is not acceptable to people who want to mourn and have their closures. And if that is the case, it is my wish that my funeral should follow basic Buddhist rites - a basic coffin, 3- (or 5-) day wake, cremation followed by sea burial. I come with nothing and go with nothing. The only thing I should leave behind are memories of me, hopefully good ones.

Afternote: I forgot and have missed this important point - I do not want to be on life support if it my life ever come to that stage where I am no longer able to make any decisions. If it’s time to go, let me go.

Sunday, 17 March 2019

Clubbing

I went clubbing in KL over the weekend and for the first time since 2005, I actually just let myself go and danced like there was no tomorrow! It helped that the songs played were all hits from the 80s/ 90s (so totally my era)! It was one helluva fun, dancing with pz's bff and a couple friend of ours.

Been a long long while!

Hehe...

Sunday, 10 March 2019

Of Waterfalls & Puppies

Decided to make a trip to JB Kota Tinggi Waterfalls this morning. The last time I visited it was more than 2 decades ago. But for some reasons, I felt the urge to visit the place. And so, we (pz and I) drove in about 8am. It was great that there was no traffic jams at the Second Link and in no time, we were cruising along the Johore highway towards Kota Tinggi. The roads had been widened since I last drove there and we managed to arrive at the place late morning. Sadly, the place was closed for maintenance. Nonetheless, I decided to park the car to take a closer look at the signage at waterfall entrance.

Once I got off my car, I heard cries from a puppy and a bitch barking at me. I couldn’t see the puppy as it was blocked by the bitch and she stood there between two parked cars. Something seemed wrong, judging from the sound of its cries. I dropped onto my knees, signalling to the bitch that I’m not hostile. She barked a bit more and then she stopped and just stood there, looking at me. After a few seconds, she walked away from the car, revealing a yelping puppy behind, half-hidden by the car. Now, this was not normal - a mother moving away from her crying puppy. Sensing something was not right, I walked towards it and I saw a disturbing sight. The puppy, probably no more than 6 weeks, had had its head caught in the fence and it was struggling to free itself. I told myself I had to help it. 

I walked to it, half expecting the bitch to charge at me, as what all mothers would do. But surprisingly, she was nowhere to be seen. I knelt down and held the puppy’s head. The neck was tightly encircled by the fence wire and it was trying to push its body across. And the more it tried, the tighter the wire got and it was choking. All it could do was simply cry and yelp badly. Judging from the pool of saliva on the floor, the exhausted face and the fearful look of its small eyes, I could only conclude that its head had been caught for some time. Gently, I held the head with one hand as I loosen the wires with the other. Once the wire loosen, the puppy lunged forward as it tried to push itself through. I had to push it back. There was no way the whole body could go through the hole. It struggled and pushed hard against my hand even as I pushed the head backwards. After a while, it stopped pushing and simply let me move it’s head. I managed to release it from the fence and once released, the puppy stumbled back and quickly ran into a hole in the drain as it continued crying and yelping. Quickly, I reached into the hole and pulled it out and brought it across to my side of the fence. I needed to reunite it with it’s mother. I placed it beside the car and it crawled under it as it continued crying. It was a very sad sight. A badly traumatised and weakened puppy hiding underneath a car and crying away. 

I left it there and walked towards the entrance of the waterfall and noted it was off limits. Regretably, I had to leave the place. When I reached back the car park, a group of foreigners walked by and the bitch barked ferociously at them. The bitch had gone back to her puppy and she had with her another puppy! I believed she was trying to protect her puppies from a perceived hostility. I stood there and observe her and bend down to look at the two puppies under the car. And guess what? The bitch walked up to me, looked at me and walked pass me. It was amazing. It seemed like she understood I was not an enemy. I poured a container of water and left it beside the car for the puppies. By now, the traumatised puppy had stopped crying and it was simply lying down resting underneath the car. I left them there to rest and drove off.

Reflecting through this whole incident, a few things struck me - the bitch could distinguish between friend and foe and when the situation calls for it, she will entrust her puppy to someone whom she felt could help. Also, even a puppy no more than 6 weeks old has a very strong will to live and will use all its strength to save itself, no matter how hard circumstances are. And lastly, a bitch is fully capable of showing appreciations. Amazing. It was indeed a really good and meaningful trip, even though I didn’t get to see the waterfalls. The puppy wouldn’t have lasted much longer under the blazing sun, and a dead puppy strangled by a fencing wire would have been a very gruesome sight.  For that moment, it felt like someone had wanted me there to save the puppy. Cos thinking about it, the chance of it happening was very slim for two reasons - the place is closed and quite deserted; and secondly, Malaysia is a Muslim country and I suspect not many would dare to approach a dog.

Tuesday, 5 March 2019

Urologist Review

Had my review with the urologist today.

Was asked to do an x-ray when I arrived and that was weird. But I learned later that it was becos they found evidence of stones in my right kidney and wanted to confirm it again.

Anyway, the urologist updated that there was no trace of infection nor cancer cells in both the blood and urine. As such, the conclusion was that blood in urine was mainly due to kidney stones.

From the ct scans, they also found evidence of stones - probably about 3mm in both kidneys. Also, a large stone about 6mm was seen in ureter but it did not show up in the x-ray done today. This was weird given the size of the stone, and thus, the urologist suspected I might have passed it out.

With these findings, the urologist suggested not to undertake any invasive treatment currently as the chance that I had passed out the stone was very high. Also, he wanted to err on the safe side given that I'm on heart medication. I was subsequently asked to return for another review in 3 months. The additional time will also allow the heart to stabilise. For now, to keep drinking and flush the system.

So that's good news I think...