Saturday, 31 July 2021

Bat Mobile

These days under heightened alert status, the car becomes the next best place for all sorts of things… 
  • Eg1, We cannot dine out and so we pack our meals and eat in the car. The whole squeezy feel is quite similar to that of eating in an aeroplane! 
  • Eg2, We stay out most of the day and when we go for our walks, we do a Superman in the car (we change into our sports gear).
  • Eg3, We stay out most of the time to make full use of our time off, we would sit in the car to rest between different places we visit.

Lol.

Friday, 30 July 2021

Insomnia

I'm getting insomnia all over again. It's the time of the year where things at work get really really intense and where I get totally stressed up. I will have very light or can’t sleep. And I wake up to the slightest sound. And often I end up sleeping less than 2-3 hours a day.

Ok, need to be positive… 

Think happy thoughts.

Tuesday, 27 July 2021

Good, Bad & Crazy

Have had many good and not so good experiences lately that kinda shaped my recent months. Here're the details… 

A friend announced she's pregnant during one evening when we gathered to celebrate another one’s birthday. She's been trying for a baby for a few years and things took a dive when she contracted tuberculosis 2 years back. She had to undergo quite a bit of treatment and that took a very heavy toll on her physical health. And being a little pantang (superstitious), I didn’t really say much when she shared the news. Was naturally quite apprehensive as it's still in the early parts of her first trimester. Let's hope for the best. 

Another friend was caught in a toxic relationship where her boyfriend cheated on her and got another pregnant. She wanted to hold on to the relationship and gave all sorts of reasons why she should do so despite being pushed aside, taken for granted, being constantly lied to, etc. Was a superbly messy state of things and was glad she decided finally to call the relationship off. Was roped in to counsel her by one of our common friends. It was not an easy conversation. 

A friend happily changed his job given his bad experiences with his boss, and the reputations and prospects of the new company. But within a month of joining the company he fell into depression as he felt he was not given the guidance and coaching he needed and worst still, he felt lots of work was thrown towards him even though was was new and not ready for it. He just couldn't take the load and the constant pressure to deliver. It didn't help for the fact that his peers tendered and overnight he suddenly inherited a whole lot of new responsibilities with no additional resources. He came to me for help and support. He needed to vent.

Another friend was not happy at his job as his boss (who recruited him and with whom he had a very close relationship with) resigned and the new boss who was based at another location and is an academic loaded him all the commercial and administrative responsibilities. He was a junior grade staff with limited experience and was expected to handle several key accounts, many major projects, etc. It took him a good 6-7 months to land a new role and during the period, he looked towards me for career counseling and advice. Again, difficult process despite me being in HR. 

Also, the conversation about my late parents apartment and how it is being managed kept coming up. My sister came to me and asked whether the issue had been settled. Frankly, I do not know. My mum passed away some 6 years back and things should have been resolved. I had also passed all legal documents to my brother and asked him to settle the post-death transactions relating to the house. Judging from the annual property tax that continued to be send to my address (as the legal representative of my late mum), I can safely assumed he has not done anything. This will, I believe, come to bite me eventually. I don’t look forward to that day and hope it doesn’t come.

My current house is way overdue in terms of renovation. It’s been almost 25 years and things are falling apart. Had had several issues relating to water seepage over recent years and my neighbours had complained to the management about it. Have kept off renovations for sometime as I had intentions to sell away my place eventually. With the recent COVID and stuff, I had delayed this plan and decided I should continue staying put, at least for a while more. Hence, the need to undertake renovations. Sometime late year year, I got me a little worried when I started noticing a foul odor appearing from my toilet and cracks appearing on my walls and floor. Whether it’s a result of the renovations of my neighboring units, I’m not sure, but certainly,   something bad is brewing and it is telling me I should renovate my place urgently. Had initially planned to do it in Apr/ May before my work gets intense but eventually decide to delay it to Aug/ Sep. I need to work on this urgently now despite my work that is killing me given the proximity of the end/ new year and the rate things are falling apart. 

There's been quite a bit of shifts in focus at work. Apart from restructuring, there was also new responsibilities given to me. I now report to a new boss. And as with such developments, we see lotsa resignations and people began to draw lines. So the existing arrangements of getting support from the various back support departments when I do any major activation events become unsustainable when these departments began to withdraw their support. And to make it worst, my new boss do not see nor appreciate what I am going through (I don't think he cares too) and continued to pile things onto me, even as I had protested again and again. It's not a good position to be in. 

And oh, I had a bout of bad experiences with mouth ulcers and toothaches. And I finally decided to have my root canal fixed. The left lower molar had been giving me lotsa issues and I decided once and for all to kill it. Truth be told, the dentist had previously warned me about this specific tooth some 2 years back but I thought I’d want to prolong the tooth for as long as I could. The procedure wasn’t as bad as I had previously experienced and the specialist was quite gentle with me. Glad it’s over. Finally.

These are a small number of good, bad and crazy things that happened but it should give you a view of what’s going on in my life. I constantly tell myself to be positive, to adopt a positive mindset and that there are many opportunities to learn and to deliver. But my positivity is wearing thin. Hard to sustain.

Monday, 26 July 2021

July is ending

Time flies and July 21 will end soon. These days, each week passes by superbly fast. I’m not sure why. Perhaps it’s age, and perhaps it’s the non-stop hustle bustle of work life. Anyway, let me capture some quick thoughts in this very random post. 

We are in Phase 2 (Heightened Alert) once again and it's a little more restrictive with no dining out and some minor restrictions with regards visitations. Also, it's work from home for all, as had been so since April. The thing about working from home is that it is easier to get burnt out given the non-stop meetings. And work is definitely getting more and more intense with a lot of responsibilities, new unplanned projects, last minute taskings from bosses, and lack of resources. In fact, I was near mental collapse many a times over the last 2-3 months due to work and had frequently thought of resigning and walking away. Nonetheless I have held on till now. Not too sure how long more I can do so.

Social life was not too badly impacted given the weekly catch ups and dinners with friends. It's probably the only thing that had kept us sane during this period. We had also made deliberate efforts to go out, keep ourselves occupied and avoid staying at home as much as we can. On the other hand, it didn't help that some of my friends are going through bad relationship patches and issues and I have been roped in to counsel them. While counseling is near second nature to me, I do admit it does have a small level of psychological and/ or emotional toll on me. Just need to be conscious not to let these sessions affect me too much, especially with all the work stress and all…

Ok, this post is a tat random. Just wanted to capture some of my quick thoughts given that I have not been actively blogging lately.

Wednesday, 14 July 2021

Crash

I just saw a sparrow crash into my balcony glass door and drop onto the floor. It struggled a while and before I could respond to it, it picked itself up and flew off. 

The sparrow must have flew in from the kitchen window, through the house and wanted to exit through the living room balcony. I can imagine how confused the whole experience was. I think it must have hurt itself when it crashed onto the glass door, judging from the loudness of the "thud" sound of the crash. 

I do hope it is well and that it doesn't drop dead from some head trauma while flying.