Political Office Holders

I never thought I’d live to see a country go from being perceived as heaven on earth to that of a living nightmare - yet that’s exactly what’s happened over the past decade. It’s shocking and heartbreaking at the same time. And the ripple effects are felt far beyond its borders. Still, this is the reality we face, and all we can do now is hope - and act - for better days ahead.

If there’s one thing this has taught me, it’s this: good policies can come from any party, as long as they have the right brains behind them. But what really matters is the party’s values - how they choose their candidates, and how they deal with those who fall short. Put the wrong party and people in power, and the consequences can be terrible.

That’s why I’ll be voting with my eyes wide open. No need for rallies or shouting matches - just making my choice count where it matters.

Signs of Growing Old(er)

It's kinda interesting to note the changes in my body stats over the last couple of years. Whether this is due to age, lifestyle, dietary habits, etc, I am not sure. Or perhaps it is a combination of all? LOL... here're what I have noticed:

• Height - it used to be 1.70m for most part of my adult life, but lately, I am seeing myself registering a tat shorter than usual. At times, I measure 1.69m. Is this due to age? I don't know.

• Weight - Before COVID-19, my weight went as high as 84kg. I lost about 10kg during the lock down period and I was about 74kg for a few years after that and had stayed quite constant. Lately, I started weighing myself again and I noted that it had dropped to 71kg (plus minus a bit). I could only attribute this to my dietary habits.

• Waistline - It hit 36" at my peak before COVID-19. I had not measured it for a long while but I do noticed myself being able to wear my old work pants again last year. And today, while shopping for a pair of pants, I found myself fitting into a size 31"! Anyway, I decided to get a 32" to give myself some allowance for possible growth (laterally)!

It's interesting to note these changes but I can only suspect the rate of change will increase with time. Apart from these, I have also noticed physical changes such as more saggy skin around my body, my arms, my face; appearance of age-related spots on my neck, hands and body, etc. These are perhaps signs of aging that no one can avoid. And admittedly, the vain side of me did consider going for a facelift but the logical part of me told me to be real and don't waste my money over such procedures. Then again, I pride myself for looking younger than my straight peers. Oh man, for some reasons, they look so haggard and old!

:-)

(I'm such a bitch... Hahaha)

Training Update

I’ve received my first paycheck from the trainings I conducted in March! It’s so nice to see this being credited, especially since I have not had any income (apart from my room rental) since December 2023.

It’s not a big amount, but it’s a great relief to me, especially when what I have in my bank account would otherwise run dry in a month or two. So yes, this added income is timely and a much-needed boost. It tells me I’m heading in the right direction. Moving forward, I can expect some engagements on a monthly basis - some months more, some months less. I shall continue with this and allow things to stabilise before deciding how much more I should commit myself to for other opportunities. 

Speaking of opportunities, a peer trainer recently approached me to help deliver parts of her module at a local university. I have agreed to help her, as the topic is an interesting one. I also recognise that this may open up future engagements with the university, which I am looking forward to. There are several other opportunities as well, including the possibility of starting a business. However, I will need to be selective about which ones to pursue. A key factor guiding my decision-making is to stay true to my intention of pivoting towards a career that allows me to remain mentally and socially engaged as I approach retirement. At the same time, I also want to ensure I carve out enough personal time for myself, even as I take on freelance work. 

I am happy with the direction I am heading currently. Once things stabilise a little more, I can start to think about how to expand my coaching clientele. Coaching, although not my focus when it comes to generating an active income stream, keeps me engaged and I truly enjoy the conversations. Most importantly, I am motivated by the positive energy of my coachees at the end of every conversation.

:-)

Qingming 2025

This year’s Qingming (清明节) fell on 4 April. During Qingming, we would head to the cemetery to clean the graves and pay respects to our ancestors. Traditionally, it’s commemorated within 10 days before or after the actual day - but these days, most people extend it to two weeks on either side, making use of the weekends instead. 

Since my parents’ passing, I’ve been doing it on my own - visiting the columbarium to pay respects to them and to my late grandparents. It’s become something of a routine for me - a quiet responsibility I’ve taken on as the eldest son, perhaps. For some reason, I just didn’t feel up to it this year. Maybe it’s because I don’t drive. Maybe it’s because I simply didn’t have the energy. But I finally made the trip today.

Woke up early this morning, head out for breakfast, and then to get all the paraphernalia for the ritual - joss sticks, joss papers (gold, silver), ancestral offering papers, sutra sheets, fruits, etc. Decided to skip the usual paper trunks - one each for my mum, dad, grandmother and grandfather - as it would’ve been impossible for me to carry. The journey to the columbarium by public transport alone took me almost two hours, not counting the nearly 1.5km walk to the actual location in the hot afternoon sun. By the time I made my way back to the east, almost six hours had passed, and I was completely exhausted.

Still, I felt good about making the trip. It’s a laborious process, but one that holds deep meaning for me. And no, I don’t like the phrase “ancestor worship”. I don’t worship them - but I honour them and pay my highest respects, for bringing me into this world and grounding me in the values that shaped who I am today. Marking Qingming brings me back to my roots, reconnects me with my past, and reminds me of all that my parents and grandparents did to help me get to where I am. And for that, I give thanks - and ask for their guidance as I move forward in life.

:-)

Ps: and while at it, I also commemorated my grandmothers’ 50th death anniversary (the actual day is next Thursday - the 27th day of the 3rd lunar month) but it would be too much for me to repeat this trip next week)! 

Infection

I went to the doctor on Friday evening. Was told I had a very bad throat infection that has spread to my upper respiratory track, my sinus and my chest. I was also running a fever without realizing it. Was given quite a bit of medication, including antibiotics. 

The medications worked wonders. The fever subsided, the sinus and airways cleared, and my cough stopped within 24 hours. As of now, I still have lingering backflow, congestion and cough but it should clear off within the next couple of days. Such a relief. 

Reflecting, I do noticed that post-COVID, I tend to suffer more intense URTI and recovery time is a lot longer. It usually starts off with a cough and quickly deteriorate. URTI used to be a simple affair lasting no more than 3-4 days. But now, it usually stretches to 3 weeks at least. 

Not too sure why. 

What language…

My answers to “What language do you use when you talk to your inner self?” go like this:

“It depends on the context”

Most of the time, I use English. But when I’m praying (be it in a Buddhist or Taoist setting) or paying respects to my late ancestors, I use Hokkien. I’ve also realised that sometimes I don’t even use words - I just let my senses take things in. Like, I see colours and that’s it. Or I hear birds chirping, a car whisking by… I just take note of it, register the experience and that’s it. I might respond with a simple smile but there’s no need to verbalise it. Just knowing. No words needed.

Does that make sense?

Freedom

What would go through your mind when - or if -  you are near your endpoint? 

I fell badly ill during my extended stay in KL. By day four, I had run out of my daily doses of blood thinner, heart regulator, and other medication. My heart began to pump hard and fast. There was a strange sensation in the left side of my chest. I was also down with a violent cough, severe sinus congestion, chest pains, and a sore throat. The pressure points around my face and neck hurt badly. At one stage, I was so unwell I couldn’t get out of bed. I suffered from intense congestion, with copious amounts of bloodied mucus and phlegm flowing non-stop. 

I ordered my heart medication online, but it would take 1 - 2 days to arrive. To relieve my sinus symptoms, throat irritation and cough, I went to a local pharmacy and bought vitamin C, antihistamines, and lozenges. That was when the thought of passing on - perhaps due to a stroke or a heart attack - crossed my mind. The image that surfaced was of me, lifeless, discovered by the cleaner. Surprisingly, I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t even worried. No one knew I had fallen sick apart from two KL friends, a training peer, and a potential coaching client I was meant to have a conversation with. There wasn’t much point in telling others - not that they could do anything about it. I truly appreciated my KL friends who consistently checked in to ensure I was all right. 

Throughout the entire episode, I kept mostly to myself. I didn’t want to bother anyone, and strangely, no one came to mind - not my siblings, not my nieces or nephew, not my friends. No one at all. Looking back, I realise I was, in fact, ready to go, had my time been up. I had no responsibilities, no liabilities, and I owed nothing to anyone. And in an odd way, that made me feel very free.

So, to answer my own question - nothing. Just peace.

What language…

What language do you use when you talk to your inner self?

Back home

I arrived back home safe and sound on Wednesday evening feeling drained and totally exhausted. It’s been a day plus and I’m slowly but surely recovering. The sinus is still crazy and the mucus is just building up as fast as I cleared them. I am also forcing myself to move a bit to keep myself “alive”. Been doing lotsa self and training-related admin, coaching, etc. And today, I decided I want to meet up with some people that matter to me. So yeah, it’s been a nice return so far. 

Feeling thankful.

KL Mis-Adventure

My KL trip this time round is perhaps one of the most memorable - in the most negative way. Planned for a 4-day trip, travelled the distance, met up with friends, did what I wanted to do, and then took the coach back.

But I couldn’t. I had to extend my stay. The last few days were anything but fun cos I came down with a superbly bad tonsillitis. Coughed my hearts out and my phlegm was full of blood! And my sinus was so bad I was literally flowing bloodied snort through the nights. It was such a horrible past few days. Will continue to rest and recover for the next 2 days.

Hopefully, I will recover well enough to make the trip back home!