blogging vs learning

here is a copy of what i theorised as to how blogs could be used in the context of learning. i created this model after going through more than a thousand over studies about blogging and learning. what do you think?

fruits of my studies

i completed my masters programme almost 3 years ago and in the process, i managed to publish (as the first author) a paper on the use of online applications such as the blog for learning. it started off as my critical inquiry module and by the time i completed the research and the writings, it seemed almost equivalent to a phd thesis... heh heh. it was a great and pleasant surprise when my supervisor told me it could easily qualify for publication in an education journal and asked if i would be willing to recraft parts of the paper to sharpen it after i graduate. i agreed and recrafted the paper according to his suggestions. the paper eventually got accepted by a renown international journal for publication after being reviewed by 3 international authorities on the topic. i was superbly happy about it. it was, to me, an achievement, considering that the last time i managed to get any papers published was in 1991 after my honours thesis was published. anyway, after i got the paper published, i conveniently moved on.

and then something totally unexpected happened last month...

i was in the middle of my work and an email came in. it was from my supervisor. it was a pleasant surprise cos it had been such a long time since we communicated. and when i read the email, i almost fell off my chair! he asked if i could recall one particular assignments i did during my programme on student motivation when particpating in online discussion (of cos i did!). and he said that he had submitted it for presentation in an international conference and it had been accepted. and he asked if i would be keen to join him for this conference that would be held in july in hong kong. and what was even more surprising was that my work has also been accepted for publication as a chapter in a book to be published by springer - one of the top international book publishers in the world.

i was like "wah... what the..."

i smiled ear-to-ear when i read and reread and reread the email. i was tempted to go for the conference. but on second thoughts, the period would be a very hectic period for me at work. so regretfully, i turned down the offer... but well, i wasn't expecting anything and when this email came in, it really brightened up my day!

:-)

my uni breaks

as i said, i was a regular on course in uni from 1987 - 91. my contract was such that i had to return to service during my holidays. and so, every year, i would don my uniform when my peers were out having fun. in a way, i enjoyed heading back to camp during my holidays. after all, it was back to a familiar culture although the surroundings were a little different.

you see, i was an infantry officer who was earmarked for an intelligence reservist appointment until i signed on. so, when i became a regular, the army wanted to convert me to another arm. during my first year holiday, i was sent to jurong camp 2. home of the combat engineers. it was a short 2plus months and i was attached to the commander's wing where they trained cbt engineer ncos and officer cadets. specifically, i was attached to the nco wing. during that period, i literally went through the cbt engr nco course. and i even went through the summary exercise with them (and the cadet wing) overseas. on one hand, it was an eye opener to see how they lay minefields, how the specialize in explosives, how they built bridges, etc, but on the other hand, i also got to see the ugly side of the people. by the time i ended my attachment, i wrote in to the authority asking not to be converted.

for my second year, if i recalled correctly, i was sent to an infantry battalion. i became the project officer and undertook tasks to formalize their logistics sops for stand-by. it was a rather boring attachment i must say. and then i was attached to the cbt intelligence department. there was an impending exercise and i was tasked to assist in the planning of the intelligence ops. it was interesting cos for the first time, i got to see how planning at a high level was done.

in my final year holiday period, i was attached to the intelligence school. again, there was an impending major exercise overseas and i was tasked to assist in the planning and flight administration of the troops involved. there was a total of about 4 officers (all on uni breaks) placed under the charge of the tco. indirectly we also reported to the chief instructor (ci). the ci was a rather bastard guy who somehow didn't like officers on holidays. to him, we were always the chao keng (skive) type and at every opportunity, he would find fault with us. i felt really lousy for despite all the hardwork, i would somehow get dragged in and get scolded for something he assumed we did wrong. my patience wore off totally when one day, he fell us in, marched us to his office and gave us a good scolding becos the tco couldn't find us when he asked for us. he naturally assumed we were playing punk and were skiving. at that time, it was about a week before the flight departure and there was a lot of pre-flight admin to be done. and incidentally, i had also been told by nus that i had been confirmed for the honours year and that i should head back to nus immediately to start my project work. so, after the scolding, i decided to get back at the ci. i decided not to tell him about my impending disruption and i purposely left the pre-flight admin undone. 2 days before the departure, i gave him my letter and left. yup, i was really mean. erm... yup, i was immature and irresponsible. but well, that was my way of getting back at someone who didn't give a damn to my existence.

:-)

my tertiary education

i enrolled myself in science faculty of the national university of singapore (nus) in jul 1987.

for my first year, i signed up for 2 of my favourite subjects – biology (comprising biology 'a' and biology 'b') and chemistry. little did i know that what i signed up for was known as the killer combination cos all 3 subjects had laboratory hours. it was interesting for me cos for the first time in my life, i actually experienced a 6-hour laboratory session. anyway, all in all, on a heavy week (during weeks where i had a 2-hr evening compulsory module on intro to computer [ic101] on monday evenings), i had a 41-hour week and on a light week, 39 hours. my friends in other faculties, particularly those in arts, could never imagine how a person could possibly survive such a punishing schedule. to them anything close to a 2-digit hour would be considered heavy for that week. heh heh... but because i enjoyed these subjects, i actually found myself looking forward to lessons.

frankly, after 2-plus years in ns, i found the beginning a little difficult for me. i had forgotten quite a bit of my studies. and so, you could imagine that "oh-this-term-is-so-familiar" feeling kept coming to me as i attended my classes - mitochondria, ribosomes, cytoplasm, la la la... but well, i caught up within a month or two and after that, it was rather easy going. and soon enough, i found myself immersed in the nus lifestyle. here're some of the snapshots of my nus life:

- in my first year, i stayed in sheares hall. i had heard so much about the hall ragging that when i signed up, i gave them all sorts of cock and bull stories (i think i told them i need to look after my sickly grandmother - which for the record, had died a dozen years earlier). but well, i got myself excused alright. my not attending the hostel orientation camp resulted in many of the seniors not knowing me and soon enough, many started to ostracize me. frankly, i didn't bother. i had my own clique of friends in the hostel in the end. the "kuai kuai" nerdy group... :-P

- i lived in block "c". and that was known as the "creative block". apparently many creative people lived in the block and they include people who are rather high profile today - you will probably know them as so-and-so who are the creative director of some recent international event staged in singapore, so-and-so who was known to enjoy performing in drag (nonya kebaya somemore!), so-and-so who choreographed so-and-so national events, etc. and boy, creative block with creative people can be very creatively scandalous too! there are always sightings of so-and-so coming out of so-and-so room in the middle of the night, with ruffled hair, sleeping over with so-and-so la la la... and becos everyone was so creative, everyone was also very open about it. so... haiz. and of cos, for me, i had my fair share of scandals too. read on.

- i got myself really involved with another person in block a. it started off as a nice group chatting session in his room on a saturday afternoon before we locals go home. and soon enough, everyone left except 2 of us. and we continued chatting. and we yak and yak and yak and soon enough we started talking about sex. and gradually, we began to tease each other about being aroused and soon enough, things got physical. in the end, we couldn't get enough of each other and before we knew it, we were so addicted to each other. it was a really really really really intense and sexual relationship - much as we constantly denied our sexuality. thinking back, it was really very weird cos two were actually leading an exclusively gay lifestyle although he was bisexual. he would read his love letters to me and even had me around when he wrote his love letters to his then girlfriend (now his wife). it went on for many months until i finally decided to call it quits cos i was not able to accept the whole relationship. i was convinced i was straight and that it was just something i could simply switch off when i felt like it. i broke his heart badly. we went on the different faculties after our first year and did not talk to each other after that.

- there were some interesting things i experienced when i first joined nus. for a start, i thought the girls in my year (who were 2 years younger) were really childish. they behaved like spoilt kids! it was so clear during the science fac orientation camp. but well, in the end, i realized i felt this way because of my ns. ns did really turned many of us into men. yup, men. no longer boys. and i did admit, much as i tried, i was at times conscious of my "officer" status in my ns. but it certainly did not stop me from interacting and mingling with my peers who were non-officers. but i realized that my ocs training and subsequent exposure to leadership positions made me a lot more mature than many of my contemporaries.

- i had the habit of studying through the nights before my exams. and he (i did not ever considered him to be my "boyfriend") would do the same. we would study in the science fac canteen and usually there would be the same group of people there. and there was this very interesting character. she was from bizad. we called her "amy". amy would usually study at the hon sui sen library and she would come over to study at the science fac canteen after the library closed at 10pm. we would all cower in fear when we heard her the high heels sounds approach us. you see, she had this weird habit of wearing red dresses, super high heels, and white gloves (yes, white gloves!). and she would study until just before 12am, then approach any of the guys in the canteen and asked them to walk her to the bus stop where she would catch the last bus to clementi interchange. and as the guy walked with her, she would tell the guy things like - oh, last night, i saw a guy in the toilet playing with himself... and when i saw, i very scared... or, tomorrow can i study with you?... or, will you be here over the weekend (or chinese new year)... she never failed to freak us all out! thank goodness i was never asked cos i would be sitting with him and we would both look down or pretend to be engrossed in some deep discussions when she walked towards our direction.

- i started learning how to ride the motorbike when i was in nus first year. i did it secretly. my parents wouldn't have permitted me to do so if they had known for my dad had a scooter and he knew the dangers associated with bike-riding. by the time i was in second year, i had purchased a secondhand bike from a fellow-itd platoon commander. i rode the bike home. there was nothing my parents could do. my mum could only ask me to ride with care. on the seventh day of my bike purchase, i was turning in from marine parade road to marine terrace when my bike hit the kerb. i was thrown off my bike and the bike crashed. my brother witnessed it from my flat. my mum freaked out. but there was nothing they could do. that was my first bike accident. i had many more bike accidents after that - including quite a few along the ecp (that was when the fort road flyover was not even constructed) and once i walked into the lecture with my jeans totally torn and my thighs still raw with blood and my good friend had to half support me to his hostel room to apply the qing chao you onto my wounds!

- the standard annual routine for me during my years in nus was that i didn't get to celebrate chinese new year. i am not sure if it was good or bad, but it certainly weened me off the excitement of the occasion. so, during chinese new years, i would either be studying at the science fac canteen or locked up in my room at home.

- as i said, i was a regular on course in nus. i had no financial worries. and i had lots of time to focus on my studies and to make friends. by the time i was in second year, many of my peers started talking about their future and as i reflected, i started to regret signing on. there were so many things ahead of me that i could have done or could pursue. and i realized i couldn't do it becos i had to fulfil my obligations to my contract. i regretted and for a short period, comtemplated breaking my contract. it so happened that one of my ocs platoon mate (who had also signed on and was in the same science fac as me) also studied in the science library. and we would chat frequently outside the science library. once, i shared with him how i felt. and he shared the same thoughts. we talked it through and he convinced me when he rationalized that the reasons why oour minds could think of such things was becos we were not preoccupied by other things like financial concerns, job prospects, etc. and so, rather than regret, we should instead feel blessed to be "looked after" well by the armed forces. and for that, we should do our best, complete our studies and pay back to the organisation. and that was exactly what we did.

- for my first year results, i did very well and obtained an "a" for my chemistry and 2 "b"'s for my bio. i dropped my chemistry after some deep consideration. i love bio too much. i continued with my bio 'a', bio 'b' combination in my second year (another crazy chap some would say) and this time round, decided to drop a major to a minor. i chose general maths (or 'g' maths). second year came and went, and again i did very well and obtained an "a" for my maths and 2 "b"'s for my bio. once again, i love bio too much to drop it. and in my final year, i took both bio 'a' and bio 'b'. once again, i got 2 "b"'s for them. i was offered both zoology and botany honours. in the end i went on to do my honours in botany and graduated with a 2 upper honours in botany in jul 91.

1987 - a new phase

it would not be complete for me to just leave my last post on "completing my ns" without mentioning how it ended. you see, i was a march intake batch. this meant that by the time i enter uni for my tertiery education, i would have only served two years and three months - three months short of the usual two and a half years. so, for a "normal" conscript, he would have to disrupt his military service and serve the remaining three months during his annual academic break. anyway all these did not matter to me.

i signed on (i became a contract military officer).

you see, ever since i was a young boy, i was a fiercely independent person. my mum had brought me up that way. i did not want to be financially dependent on my parents and by the time i was in junior college, i gave tuition to fund my own studies. and given my personal dislike towards my dad's tendency to openly show off things (money, achievements, etc), i learned to keep such information away from him.

towards the last half year of my stay in itd (infantry training deport - the name of the military basic military school back then), i was sent for my company tactics course (ctc) and then basic intelligence officer's course (bioc). i understood at that time that these courses were meant to prepare me for an intelligence position during my reservist. so i went for the courses. in ctc, i had the opportunity to interact with many regulars and combat units. it was interesting and i enjoyed the camaraderie with the men. it was such a contrast to my itd tour where i was an instructor and where recruits held me up in the highest esteem. also, my buddy was a regular singh and i had the opportunity to speak to him and asked him about how it felt to be a regular. he spoke a lot of about the financial independence and that attracted me a lot. to me, apart from my love for the field and the combat stuff, i could also enjoy financial independence from my dad. hmmm... good.

however, by the time i finished my ctc, apart from a low grading (as all nsfs did), i got disillusioned by how some of the regulars behaved. they had huge attitude problems i thought. and that was it. i went back to itd for a month plus before going for my bioc. i did well in bioc. despite the presence of many regulars, i excelled. i was eventually awarded the best trainee for my course. if anything, bioc turned me around. my winning of best trainee told me that regardless of service status, nsfs could also emerged top as long as he did well. that made me think very hard about signing on, which eventually i did. i went for the interview and was asked if i would consider taking up maths or military studies or history. i replied no, i'd rather do biology. and i spoke of how passion would drive me further in my pursue for knowledge. i was also asked if i would consider an overseas scholarship instead of a local award. i replied no too. i did not want anyone to know i had signed on, especially my dad.

i signed on the dotted line not long after i graduated from my bioc. as i said, i was an independent person. i signed on without even consulting my parents. i only told my mum about it the night before i went to sign my contract. i remembered her saying it is ok as long as i am ok with it. that was it. i signed the contract. it was on april fools day (actually thinking back, perhaps i was foolish! ha!). and i made my mum promised not to tell my dad about it. i did not want him to start telling people that i have signed on. i was sure he would go around saying i earn xxx amount of dollars and that i was a rich person.

i was a regular officer on course when the nus academic term started in jul 1987.

educational research journal

recieved an email from my masters programme supervisor that the paper i wrote had been accepted for publication in an renowned international journal on education. so, this makes two for me - one paper after my honours year and one more after my masters degree.

so happy!

:-)

how to say no

of late, i am getting more and more irritated with someone whom i felt has taken advantage of me. and the problem is, i don't know how to say no. despite hinting so many times to him about him getting on with the project himself, he has time and again, come back to me.

sighs! at first, when he asked me to help him for one part of his project, i agreed. and then he came back again for the next part, and the next part, and the next part. and it came to a point where i felt i am almost doing the project for him. feeling frustrated, i had time and again hinted that he should try to do it himself. but he just refused to get the hint.

sighs. and i get the feeling that he needs me to endorse every step he takes, give comments about his report. imagine, he even sms me and ask me if he can do this or do that, write this or write that etc etc etc. and despite me telling him that the person he should seek comment from is his supervisor and not me, he still incessantly get back to me. what i really think now is that he simply lacks the confidence to do the project in the first place.

i should perhaps be a bastard and not have agreed to help him in the first place.

sighs sighs sighs.

!

memories

this week, for that matter, the recent few weeks, were very interesting.

it seemed like the pass is slowly coming back to me. first, it was khoon seng, then it was my secondary school friends, and then two days ago, bee bee and i managed to meet up and catch up with justin and his partner frank. it's amazing how things had changed yet remained the same... changed in that we have all grown older, signs of age has appeared - not nec the appearance of wrinkles, but the appearance of a certain maturity in the face, in the way we talk, in the way we communicate, in the content of our communication. yet have remained the same. same in the familiarity of the person, in the familiarity of the character, the thoughts, and the connection.

kinda interesting few weeks. and it made me search for artefacts of my past. old photos, old memorabilia, school badges, exercises books, report cards... somehow, the incidences that happened twenty thirty years ago suddenly seemed so recent. i could still remember my handwriting. the old notes that i wrote for myself, the old biology exercise book and the drawing of cells - xylem, phloem, parenchyma cells, palisade mesophyll, and so on. and the photos. i could almost see, feel, smell and touch... experience the whole era all over again!

and i thought to myself. why am i going through this? why made me do this? and for that matter, it seemed so uncanny and coincidental that those i re-connected with expressed the same thoughts and experiences of reestablishing connections with their old mates! and i could only conclude that perhaps this has something to do with age. argh! sighs of middle age? in the most recent email khoon seng wrote to me, he expressed certain regret for not focusing enough on people around him when he looked back. and this made me think that perhaps age is not the real reason. could it be the search for self-fulfillment?

i'll have to reflect on this further...

it started with 25 points

it started with me penning down 25 points about myself in fb. it then led me to pen down my life anecdotes. one thing led to another and something told me to do a search on my now defunct secondary school in fb. and hey presto! i found a group! tun seri lanang secondary school alumni... and thru this link, i found some other secondary school friends. i then went on to do a search for telok kurau east school... and wow omg! i actually found it too! and there are even photos in it! such sweet and fond memories!

schutz... it looks like i'll be spending quite a lot of time checking out old friends in the coming days!

:-)

my junior college days

my college days...

1. i was in temasek junior college (tjc) from 1983 - 1984. as mentioned, i was influenced by my second sis. i went to tjc in part cos my second sis had her jc education in tjc.

2. i was in orientation group 14. i got to know khoon seng in the orientation group. he was my best friend in college.

3. i raised the school flag on wednesdays. that was the day when we all had to wear our college tie and sing the college song - it went "it matters not where we are from, to temasek we now belong. sharing experiences, yours and mine..." and so on.

4. becos of my science background, i got myself enrolled into a triple science class. i took bio, chem and physics at `a' levels. in my second year, i dropped my physics to 'ao' levels.

5. we were all required to join at least one extra curricula activity. i tried joining the college choir (in part cos my second sis was in the choir too). went for the audition and was asked to sing a song. it caught me by surprise (stupid me!). on the spot, i sang the national anthem... i was nervous, i went out of tune... needless to say, i failed :-)

6. failing to join the choir, i challenged myself to do something out of the world. so i joined the chinese orchestra instead! this despite my screwed up chinese. nonetheless, the chinese orchestra became one of the best memories of my junior college years.

7. while in the chinese orchestra, i played the er hu and zhong hu. in fact, i found myself to be rather adept at string instruments that i ended up learning almost all the string instruments including the luan, liu qin, yang qin and the pipa! i was no good when it comes to wind instruments. never good at blowing things... :-)

8. i never pass my chinese as a 2nd language in my whole life! i sat twice for it in my `o' levels and thrice for my `a' levels. for all my attempts, i obtained d7s! i even failed my oral exams! guess my dislike for chinese (that started in pri 4 after my chinese teacher wrongly accused me of deliberately shooting her) was too acute to be overcome.

9. i belonged to civics group (cg) 19/83 and my cg tutor was mrs so. she was also our chemistry teacher. my class comprised 14 girls and 4 guys (including me). my classroom was located at the third floor of the central block in the college.

10. i didn't like general paper lessons, or rather, i dislike my gp teacher - ms hsu (she later became mrs tay). one day, while discussing the topic abt the importance of music, i shared that tones have all along been impt to human beings and for that matter, tones are very important for us to be effective in our communications. a few days later (obviously ms hsu forgot which class she conducted), ms hsu came back to my class and shared that in one of her class, one student (me of cos!) said that music was so impt that one could even equate speech to music... and she laughed out loud. i felt so misquoted and embarrassed by her!

11. mrs bok taught us bio. she's malaysian and she was rather blur, but we all loved her.

12. once we had to dissect live rabbits for bio lab classes. my classmates and i managed to get the rabbits from chinatown maxwell road (i think we bought 12). brought them to college and i volunteered to chloroform them all. i placed all in a huge trash bag, poured chloroform onto some cotton butts and before throwing it into the trash bags. and to ensure maximum effect, i pour the rest of the chloroform into it. pure. the rabbits went crazy... they struggled and fought for their lives. the trash bag broke. out came all the rabbit jumping (they went as high up as my eye level!) and literally screaming. it was weird. that was my first time hearing a rabbit screach! a few seconds later, they dropped onto the ground, dazed, dying, and totally knocked out. many had blood flowing out of their eyes... i picked them up - one by one, placed them in a pail, brought them to the lab and we dissected them... as we did it, my class girls cried.

13. another time, we had to dissect earthworms. it was rather coincidental that it poured that morning and the school corridors were filled with earthworms. they had crawled out of their holes as it was all flooded by the rainwater. my class guys and i had fun picking them up... in the lab, we poured boiling water onto them. that was the first time i saw earthworm `jump'. very drama.

14. reflecting on the above 2 incidents, i think i was very cruel. i will never do such things now!

15. miss kee taught us physic in our first year. new teacher. enthusiastic but we didn't connect with her. mr pakri taught us physics in second year. he was a pervert who enjoyed touching my class girls' hands. we gave him the nickname pakricus garfieldicus as we didn't like garfield - a very popular comic at that time.

16. my junior college education revolved around 3 things - class, chinese orchestra and khoon seng. class - for obvious reasons. chinese orchestra - my eca, again for obvious reasons. khoon seng - my orientation group buddy. we continued keeping in contact after orientation. we would spent hours together after class, after chinese orchestra practice (lion dance practise for khoon seng). we would go to east coast and chat through the nights...

17. i had my first experience in politics in chinese orchestra. the form teacher in charge was miss kee (my first year physics teacher). she came in and tried to meddle in our chinese orchestra committee affairs. she came in between us and the orchestra alumni... we hated her! well... reflecting back now, i think we were just simply childish.

18. after my college education and while waiting for enlistment, i worked part time as a traffic `counter'... i literally sat at different traffic junctions to count number of cars passing through the junction. when i went for the interview for the job, i was so boh-chee ("no balls" in hokkien, or "lack the guts") i asked my mum to accompany me... :-)

my secondary school days

in secondary school...

1. i had my secondary school education at tun seri lanang secondary school from 1979 - 1982. the school was previously a malay-stream school. in line with the government's policy to phase out malay schools and have english stream schools, my cohort of students became the first english stream cohort of the school. that was the reason why most of us who did not even choose the school landed there instead.

2. given the malay-stream origin, and the education policy at that time (1979), those who did not take malay as a second language had to take it as the national language or bahasa kebangsaan. i had it easy as i had some malay grounding given my part peranakan background. but not my classmates who struggled through the year. and during exams, my classmates would copy from me... and of course, the teacher would conveniently excuse herself to allow us to copy (i think she knew that if she did not do that, she would have to answer the principal...)

3. my second sis influenced my choice of extra curricula activities and choice of subjects to a great extend. she was in the national cadet corps. so, i did the same. i became a member of the national cadet corps and after 4 years, i was promoted to a cadet staff sergeant (ssg).

4. again, due to my malay background, i enjoyed excellent working ties with my malay classmates and ncc mates. they quickly embraced me as one them.

5. i was the flag raiser when i was in secondary school.

6. in secondary 1, i failed my chinese so badly, my form teacher asked me to consider switching to malay as a second language. i did not.

7. my sec 1 form teacher was a malay lady who enjoys wearing tight kebayas to school. she was also our science teacher. once, during the laboratory sessions, we inadvertently lost control of our live cockcroach and it ran into my teacher's kebaya. it entered between her breast... you can imagine the commotion that day!

8. i was a class monitor in sec 1.

9. one of my favourite lessons in sec 1 was literature - greek stories, jason and the golden fleece, the rabbit's foot, etc.

10. in secondary 2, my pe teacher was this guy called mr gabriel tan. we enjoyed teasing him. once, during our swimming lesson at katong pool, one of my classmates went underwater and pulled his trunks off! :-)

11. i was in the afternoon class in sec 2. one of my habit was to read while walking to the bus stop. once, i walked into a lamp post. there was loud "bong!!!!" and everyone at the bus stop looked up and stared at me. i acted super blur and continued walking.

12. i had a gay english teacher in sec 2 - mr gwee. some of the things he did that we did not like - he changed our school song from malay to english. he changed the design of the school tie from something that was rather nice to one with horrible turquoise blue colour.

13. mr gwee once told my class boys to stay back in class after formal lessons so that he can share with us how to tell if a guy is a virgin... cannot recall what he said, but i think it had something to do with the colour of the head... lame.

14. i first wore long pants in sec 3. remembered buying it from a shop in tanjong katong. it made a super proud to be wearing it on the first day of school. i felt like an adult. well... it's an ego thing!

15. i faced in my first major dilemma as i went into sec 3. i love science. i love technical. i love arts. due to streaming, i have to choose one. in the end, i chose technical. as i said, my sis had a huge influence on me. as science stream was consider to be the best of the three, my sis got me transferred to science even before school term started. so, i ended up in science stream... i went along. after all, i enjoyed science too...

16. i was a prefect in sec 3 and sec 4.

17. i joined the gardening club, the english oratorical club, ncc, athlethics... once during my gardening club planting and clearing of weeds sessions, i found a set of rodent's skeleton! initially, it scared the shit out of me. once i recovered from my fright, i actually took the skull and played with it!

18. i was a member of the english oratorical club (in fact my whole class were!) by default because my sec 3 form teacher - mr rahim - was the teacher in charge of the club. we all loved my rahim! he was a funny but, in a way, very serious teacher.

19. sec 3/4, it's all about sex... puberty and hormones aplenty. my class (both boys and girls) would bring porn to school and exchange them amongst one another! one of my class girls actually brought a whole set of magazines for me... cos her sis was an air stewardess!

20. i had my own study group. 6 of us including me - doris, eng chuan, hh, lb, vanessa & i. naturally, everyone would pair us up... but nothing happened... ha ha... i was actually closer to another girl. as for study group, apart from studying together, we would go sight seeing almost every weekend. chinese garden. clearest memory.

21. i experienced my first `break-up' in sec 3. i got to know this girl called lay nah during one of the ncc leadership camp. i decided to call off the `relationship' even before we started... reason - she lived in jurong, i lived in marine parade. it would be so difficult for me to take a bus all the way there to see her. long distance relationship was difficult and worst of all - it was exam period. thinking back, it was rather funny. excuse was super lame...

22. i was a happy, cheerful and highly energetic kid. my bio teacher mrs chan once commented that i bounced from point to point rather than walk.

23. i took my o levels chinese twice. and for both times, i got  "d7" grade.

24. i can add more, but shall end here.

25. i went to temasek junior college in 1983.

my primary school days

picture courtesy of facebook profile Playfairschool Singapore

have posted something in facebook about myself and i thought i shall reorganize some parts of it, expand them and post them here. it is also perhaps a way of capturing some fond memories about myself. so, for a start, this is about my primary school days - most of which i did not capture in my earlier postings:

1. i started my primary education in playfair school in tai seng in 1973 and continued my education in telok kurau east school from pri 2 onwards. playfair school was located at playfair road in lor tai seng area - a gangster hub in those days. i recalled walking to school once a while with my second sister (who was in pri 6 when i was in pri 1). i studied in the morning stream and would go to school very early in the morning.

2. to prepare me for class, i remembered being made to wear uniform that was starched real hard and shoes that was coated with such thick white blanko that it felt like wearing leather shoes. and to top it off, my mum would apply thick scoops of brycreem on my hair and combed a `kalipop' hairdo for me - the in-fashion in those days (`kalipop' was the hokkien people's version of `curry puff' cos to many, the way the fringe of the hair was combed - curved upwards and swept down towards the back - made it look like a curry puff).

3. i enjoyed my pri 1 classes, especially arts and craft. i was a naughty and mischievous boy and was frequently punished by my teacher/s. there was once when i was made to stand facing the wall outside my classroom. i remembered feeling superbly embarrassed by that punishment. after my class, i would play in the sand-pit while waiting for my 2nd sis's lessons to end.

4. my pri 1 form teacher was this lady called mrs kang. she has a huge frame (well, at least to a 6 year-old me) and was a very nice lady. she had also taught my second sis when she was in pri 4. i remembered i had a best friend called quek chong and we would often play catching together. that was about all i remember of my pri 1 days.

5. i was subsequently transferred to telok kurau east school in 1974 (pri 2) when my family moved to marine parade. playfair school closed down in the early-80s (i think). when i last visited the place, the building was occupied by a malay-muslim community self-help group.

6. in telok kurau east school, i was a playful kid and had been publicly punished by teachers and school principal... in pri 4, i was caned publicly by my school principal during school assembly for shooting a seed at my chinese teacher (although i swear it was an accident!)

7. i took the school bus to school daily. my usual daily routine would be to wake up at 5.45am and wash up. by that time, my mum would have made her coffee for me (kopi-o). that would be my breakfast. she would then give me 30cents before `shooing' me out of the house. i always remembered to put 10cents into the milo tin can before i leave with 20cents in my pocket :-)

8. as a primary school kid, my daily allowance was 30cents. standard affair for me - 10cents for my piggy bank, 10cents for a bowl of mee/noodles, 5cents for drinks and 5cents of calipop. this was increased to 40cents in secondary school and 60cents in junior college.

9. i was a fat kid and would always feel so jealous when my skinny classmates all got to drink free milk during recess time. i secretly wished i could have some of the milk too...

10. i was my pri 3, 4, 5 form teacher's `pet' student and would always be asked by them to buy them calipop (curry puff) during recess time. and of cos, they would always reward me with a bottle of pok-chwee. this was a hokkien colloquail term for gassy drink - the term `pok' was used literally cos of the sound produced when the cap pops out. and `chwee' means water in hokkien. for me, pok-chwee usually would be either green spot or rc cola. the `in' drinks of those days!

11. my principal in telok kurau east school was mr bernard fernandez, a short stout indian man. and my school teachers include mrs kang (pri 1, playfair school), mr teh (chinese teacher, Pr 2, form teacher pri 3[?]), ms teo (later mrs fernandez after she married my principal, form teach pr 4), ms ang lay sian (form teacher, pri 5), mrs elaine tan (form teacher, pri 6), mrs rocky (maths teacher?), mdm toh (we nicknamed her madam toad, pri 4). cannot recall others much.

12. my best friend in primary school was this boy called sim beng. we had a common enemy called vincent cheo who always brag about his dad... sim beng and i enjoyed mimicking movie and tv characters. some of the characters we mimicked include r2d2, c3po, wonder woman.

13. sim beng used to live in jalan eunos. his grandma would fetch him to school and occasionally we would visit each other's family for lunch. whenever i go to his house, we would spent our time playing in his second floor attic room. we would chat for long hours and he would tell me about his family, his brothers, etc. we would also bitch about our classmates - some of those i could remember clearly include cheong kok yew (i remember him as a fat boy who used to live in marine terrace near me), phoon seng fatt (very nice boy who lived near sim beng but i thought he was some time a bit blur - in a very nice way), stanley chua (who lives in marine crescent near me and very bengish), vincent cheo (who's the son of my vice principal) etc etc etc... those were very good memories. and thinking back, we were so childish! haha! sim beng and i lost contact after we graduated from officer cadet school. think he calls himself kelvin now.

14. sim beng and i really enjoy arts and craft and we were both very good at it. we both joined the art club. some of the things i had done before include macrame, embroidery, knitting, sewing, making pillows, cross stitch, poster colour painting, charcoal painting, decopage (is this how it's spelt?), copper tooling, la la la la la.

15. as a primary school kid, i participated in many many art competitions! i remembered when i was in primary 6, i participated in a bookmark design contest at the national library. while on the bus, i realised i had forgotten to bring my poster colours. luckily, i always had 2-3 poster colour tubes in my pencil case. io, on that day, with only yellow, black and red, i designed a bookmark, and came out champion in the competition! i also won a series of awards during the youth day arts competition!

16. i was so good in my arts that even after i went to secondary school, my art teacher called me back to design and make the stage props and backdrop for the school's production of sleeping beauty. i remembered converting the classroom table into a bed by lining it with loads and loads of yellow and red paper roses and placing a yellow skirting for the table!

17. i chose tanjong katong (technical) and siglap secondary as my choices for secondary school. (in those days, we only had 2 choices). but in the end, almost half of my whole cohort in my primary school went to tun seri lanang secondary school, or what we would call - sekolah menengah tun seri lanang.

start of year end...

if the past two days were a reflection of the next few weeks, i'll probably be bored to death. all courses that my college conducts have ended. things are quiet without the students. and from next week, most of my colleagues will be clearing their leave and heading overseas for their year end holidays. for me, i will most probably be at work blasting my computer keyboard away. have been given the task to get the training management plan out. need to do it before the next course starts in jan 09 cos once it starts, i will be fully engaged with my students.

i have also started reflecting about my life in 2008. and as it stands, i still cannot find a good descriptor that can aptly describe it. all i know was that this year, family-wise, it couldn't be worst - my dad passed away, my mum got very much weaker, i came out to my brother, my brother `disowned' me, my eldest sister stopped talking to me, and so on... personal/ work life was however much better - i graduated with a masters degree, i got my job extended, i have also made a couple of good friends (although many have also faded away)... 3 more months to go before the rat makes way for the cow (or buffalo... watever).

as the prediction goes, the year of the rat will be a challenging one for me. i can now see why. 3 more months to go. let's see how much more challenging this rat year will be for me. as it stands, all predictions point to a better year ahead and i really look forward to it.

image from http://www.wallpapergate.com/

convocation

finally. attended the convocation today. Lk and bee was there. it was boring, as usual. then again, the thought of wearing the robe and parading up to receive the scroll, the 5 seconds of fame and the recognition of achievement motivated many of us post-graduates to attend.

the last time i attended a convocation was in 1991 when i graduated from my bachelor (honours) degree. 17 had passed. i shared with raymond and yazid two days back that this time round, the feel was very different, somewhat muted. and looking old (well, ok - looking mature) certainly dampened the feel of the event. you see, when i went to collect my certificate and my gown last month, there were many vendors that lined the auditorium. and they were rushing to the sweet young 20-something year olds to sign up for this, sign up for that etc. and then when i walked through them, none of them actually approach me! wtf! i should have felt very much offended.. but arh well, i guess i looked too mature to come across as a `to-be-graduate'. perhaps, i might have even come across as someone who had gone to collect the gown for his son or daughter! so, for that, the vendors were forgiven :-)

today's ceremony was no different from any other ceremonies i had attended before... get seated, stand to welcome the entrance of the provost, dean and academic staff, national anthem, speech, certificate presentation, national anthem and end. but two things stood up - there was a short performance by a yang qin and a sheng player; and the really really bad speech by the girl who delivered the valedictory speech.

it's a first for me to attend a ceremony where in the middle (when every one was either asleep or nearly dead) to be rudely awakened by a performance... :-) but the worst part of it all was the damned bloody lousy speech at the end of the presentation. not only was the content bad, she even delivered it in a slang that sounded neither chinese, english, american or any language i know... and to top it off, amidst her lousy speech that did not seemed coherent at times, she suddenly shouted out through the mike, asked all of us in the gallery to stand up, turn around and thank our parents... this little `order' put almost all of us post-graduates seated in front (more of half the graduates attending the convocation) in a fix - many of us did not invite our parents... it was funny cos suddenly half the audit did not know whether to stand or sit. and many were talking aloud - what parents? my (friends, husband, wife, kids...) are here... but well... in the end, we obliged. we all stood, turned back... and followed suit in the clapping. and before we can turn around, she said (in an almost inaudible voice now) thank you and went off the stage... we were all left standing not knowing wat to do!

could see all the tensions in the face of the post-graduates. it was bad. but in a way, i could also see the forgiving face of the post-graduates. it was after all, a phase of life that we had gone through. and for that, we smiled, took our seats again and the ceremony ended soon after...

touched

two of my nie coursemates (yazid and raymond) asked me out for dinner yesterday and took me to a thai massage. i did not realise but they had planned for it to be a treat to me for helping them in their module. but what touched my most was the fact that they (and sharifah - another coursemate) bought, signed and presented a thank you and congratulations card to me. apart from congratulating me for graduating, they also thanked me for my sharing during the course and wrote in the card that they had learned a lot from me. they also urged me to go for phd.

frankly, i had known about the dinner and the massage as raymond had mentioned it before. but what i was not prepared for was the card. simple gesture, but it told me i have made an impact on them. so much so that they went about getting it. and for me, one who is not used to receiving appreciations and thanks, i felt somewhat embarrassed. but yes, i am touch by their gesture.

convocation gown

collected (actually, i bought it to be exact) the convocation gown this afternoon. my third convocation in my life... first my bsc in 1990, then my bsc(hons) in 1991 and now my ma-idt in 2008. and i must say that the ma-idt gown looks a bit more elaborate, more folds, and the hood comes with more contrasting coloured stripes/ linings... looks grander certainly.

looking forward to the convocation proper on 26 jul.

:-)

gold medal

i wrote about a graduation interview sometime back. well, it was not really a graduation interview per se. actually, it was an interview for a medal to be awarded for overall best student for the graduating cohort for my masters programme. it was an interesting experience becos when i received the call, i was told that i was one of the many possible candidates earmarked to be the best student and that given the award is coated with gold and is quite expensive, the sponsor for the award (the singapore teacher's union) wanted to interview shortlisted candidates before deciding who they should award the medal to. well, i was kinda surprise cos to me, i had assumed that best student would be an easy process of looking at the overall grades attained.

nonetheless, i went for the interview. nothing to lose for me. in fact, if i did win, it would be a nice topping for me. not expecting anything at all and not even sure what i was in for. the interview itself was straight forward but i found it rather interesting. funny if i may add. the sponsor for the medal did not even know that i was not a teacher. he was even more surprised when i told him i did not attend formal teacher training. my own impression from the questions asked by the medal sponsor was that the eventual winner should preferably be a teacher and that he/ she should be able to contribute to the teacher's union. i walked out of the interview smiling at how this whole episode was managed, and rather tickled by how this whole thing was conducted. i asked - if they had wanted a teacher, why go through the process of shortlisting me? was the criteria not clear? why call it best student medal in the first place if it is not about (1) the results, and (2) meant for teachers? why not call it a award for moe-teachers attending the programme? or perhaps it's called this way due to some branding considerations :-)

anyway, two days ago, i received an email telling me that i was not successful for the medal (well, heh heh... no surprise actually). and ya, kinda cliche, but well, am still glad that i was shortlisted for such an award.

pneumonia

last evening, my dad felt cold and shivered non stop despite the heat and the humidity. felt something amiss. called kl and was advised to seek evaluation by medical experts. in the end, activated the ambulance and the cgh a & e doctors found that he has pneumonia.

he was eventually warded. and i guess it was the oxygen they gave that made him a bit confused. he was complaining away that the ambulance staff has stolen his wallet, that the ward nurses had ignored him for 5 hours and so on... well, of course these were not true for i had his wallet with me and that the nurses could not possibly have ignored him for 5 hours cos he had just been admitted. to make matter worst, he also wet the bed and made quite a din in the ward. this afternoon, when i visited him, he was again, complaining and cursing the doctors and nurses. my sis was there too and for a moment, i also noted my sis losing her patience with him. i guess his condition has somehow deteriorated and perhaps his delirium was due to the enriched oxygen gas that he was fixed with.

as for my mum, after her epidural yesterday, she has been feeling giddy and has been bedridden the whole of today. i had taken urgent leave to look after her and to settle my dad's admin at the hospital. managed to bring up the topic of death to my mum. and she was able to talk about it. this is something that i think i need to continue to engage her in so that when my dad passes away, it will not be too hard on her.

graduate

received a letter today that stated that i have been formally conferred the masters of arts in instructional designs and technology wef 10 june 2008.

it's a nice little morale booster amidst all the stress these couple of weeks.

:-)

debts

this month, for my very first time, i experience owing people money. i have not really managed my money well this time round. guessed my preoccupations with my studies and work had distracted me from these issues and that by the time i start looking into it, it was too late. this was made worst by my over-commitment of my cash to partially repay my housing loans last month. i need to wait for my july bonus to clear off these issues. but for now, it's overwhelming and it's stressful. sighs...

housing loans, income tax, road tax, car insurance, annual insurance payment, regular monthly bills, hospital bills, medical bills for parents all come at the same time...