Grateful 9 Mar: Friend & Buddy

Today, I remembered and commemorated a friend’s birthday by sending him a birthday text last night. He is a year older than me, and I have known him for probably 15 years. Yet, if I am honest, I do not truly know him in a deep way despite all these years. Regardless, I find myself grateful for his presence in my life, particularly over the past two years. And so today, I give thanks for:

• Him. For simply being who he is. For allowing me to glimpse parts of his life and for extending his friendship to me, despite all that he knows about me. It’s only over the last year or so that he started sharing more about himself and, for that matter, his real full name with me. To me, it reflects the openness and an outcome of the trust built over time. Over the past two years, he has been a source of support when I needed it. His presence has brought moments of warmth and joy into my life, and for that, I am thankful. 

• The Confectionery. I wanted to make his birthday a little special for him, just as he has made mine special in the past two years. Knowing that he enjoys the Teochew la piah - not the usual sweet version, but the mixed sweet-and-savoury kind - I thought it would be nice to get one for him. This, I reckon would be more personalised compared to the usual birthday cake. I am grateful that a small confectionery shop in Chinatown still makes and sells it. And I’m glad he enjoyed it.

• The MRT. It may sound unusual to express gratitude for the MRT, but today I felt thankful for the ease and convenience it provides. It allowed me to travel from my home to Chinatown and back within the time I had planned, without difficulty. Sometimes the ordinary systems around us quietly enable and support the small acts of care we wish to offer others. 

In recent weeks, I have found myself reflecting on whether I might see him as more than a friend. I do not know how this friendship - or relationship - may unfold, and so I remind myself to hold it gently, without expectation. It probably suffice to refer to him as my buddy for now. And today, it is enough to celebrate his birthday, to appreciate the connection we share, and to give thanks for this small but meaningful relationship in my life.