Grateful 29 Mar: Listening Within (1)

Today was an unplanned lesson in listening to my body and practising self-compassion. I had a very bad relapse of my piles last evening, possibly triggered by long hours of standing and constant movement. The discomfort disrupted my sleep throughout the night, and by morning, I did not feel well enough to get out of bed. While the day did not unfold as I had intended, it gently reminded me of the importance of slowing down and paying attention.

• Listening to the body. Last night was extremely difficult. Despite feeling physically exhausted, my mind remained active, and sleep was elusive. The pain made it worse, waking me frequently. It was only just before daybreak that my body gave way, and I fell into a brief but deep sleep. When I woke up, the discomfort lingered, and I could not immediately get out of bed. Even after I eventually got up, it was clear that my body was not quite ready for the day ahead. I had planned to attend my Buddhist class, but as the morning unfolded, I found myself reconsidering. Instead of pushing through or rigidly holding on to my plans, I chose to let the class go. It was a conscious act of self-compassion - acknowledging that rest was what I needed more. I am grateful for this reminder that listening to my body sometimes means choosing less, not more.

• Going with the flow. With the training assignment now confirmed, I felt a natural pull to continue my preparation. After getting up and completing my morning routines, I began doing some work and gradually became engrossed in it. Time passed quickly, and what started as a small effort turned into a more focused stretch of preparation. After a quick lunch, I returned home and continued working, while also allowing space to rest in between. There is a certain flow that comes when I do not resist my state but work with it. Rather than forcing productivity, I found myself moving in and out of effort more naturally. I am grateful that even on a low-energy day, I was able to adjust and still make meaningful progress.

• Receiving from others. It was interesting that as I slowed down, several unexpected connections happened. An old cabin crew colleague reached out, and it was comforting to reconnect after so many years. After dinner, another ex-colleague joined me for a simple grocery run and walk. Later in the evening, a friend’s husband messaged to check in - a small but thoughtful gesture I had not anticipated. None of these were planned, yet each interaction was warm and heartfelt. Perhaps when I allow myself to be in a more vulnerable, slower state, I also become more open to receiving care. I am grateful for these reminders that I am not alone.

The day began with pain, discomfort, and disruption, but it unfolded into something more reflective and grounding. I listened, adjusted, and allowed myself to slow down. In doing so, I not only took better care of myself but also found that support and connection came in gentle, unexpected ways. In all, I learned that when I listen to my body, I also create space to receive what I need - care and support from others, and above all, self-compassion. And for that, I am grateful.