ladder of inference

jumping to wrong conclusions (as explained in the ladder of inference) is a constant thing that screw up most interactions for everyone. and i experience this when i interact with mum very often. here's a classic example. the context being, mum didn't sleep the whole night despite taking double dose of sleeping pills. it always happen when i leave the house for, say, run, or watch a movie. i went to watch a movie last night and it happened again. here's our conversation this morning.

mum: i didn't sleep last night. i felt warm and very uncomfortable.

me: ok, did you manage to at least doze off for a while after taking the sleeping pill?

mum: no, i was awake throughout...

me: ok, this was the same the previously when i went for a movie, and the same too when i went for a run at night. could it be becos you felt uncomfortable being alone at home with the maid?

mum: no la. ok, what you are saying is that i "anyhow think" is it? (colloquial for "allowing one's mind to wonder and create unnecessary worries for oneself")

me: errr, no, that is not what i meant. i was only asking if there is any discomfort on your part when i leave the house.

mum: not at all, i know what you mean. what you are saying is that i am deliberately making life difficult for you.

me: no, no, please don't misunderstand. what i am merely saying is that if my leaving the house is making  you uncomfortable, please don't. i need the time to keep myself healthy if i go for my run and once a week to watch a show cos that is the only time of the week where i can relax.

mum: i know you are saying i am deliberately "anyhow think". you are telling me i am a problem to you. if that is the case, i'll leave the house.

and at this stage, she went emo...

mum: alas, i don't have the means. you are complaining and not happy with me living with you. if i have the means, i wouldn't want to stay here anymore...

well, that was how my conversation with her go every so often. that is why i said i am always on tenterhooks. kinda difficult but i have learnt to live with it and talk in a manner that does not allow her the opportunity to climb the ladder of inference as much as i can. nonetheless, if it happens, i just need to manage as needed. 

:-)