went to the marine terrace hawker center and ordered a bowl of noodle for breakfast. took my seat and the noodle was served in no time. i gave the guy a s$50 note as i did not have any small notes and he quickly came back with my change. just as he handed me the change, an elderly lady came up to me and asked if i could buy her a bowl of noodles. for that very short moment, i didn't know how to respond. i didn't know if she was referring to my bowl of noodles or if she wanted to buy a bowl of noodle but didn't have the means. i got my answer very quickly when her open palms reached out to me.
i had s$47 in my hand. four s$10 notes, and a s$5 and a s$2 note. tricky moment for me. do i brush her off? or do i "buy" her the noodles? and if i wanted to "buy", do i ask her to buy and i pay or do i give her the cash? and if i give her cash, a bowl of noodle costs s$3 to s$4... i don't have cash in that denominator. haha!. trust me to think of all these in that very split second. and almost instinctively, i gave her s$5. during such moments, i tend to err on the side of compassion. as this happened, the two aunties seated at my same table looked on. and i was somewhat taken aback by their response to me when i gave the cash to the lady.
eh eh tengok la dia, ada tangan ada kaki lagi mau mintak duit sama orang... ranted the peranakan aunty. some more, dia bukan takda duit! her children ada kereta y'know!? tuck jit ma-see ann neh khuan! she shook her head as the chinese aunty added on, hanor, buay tahan lor... tuck jit ma-see ann neh, jin jia jiak lat! machiam boh lwee ann neh... and the peranakan aunty turned her attention to me. how can you give her money!? she half-demanded an explanation. i smiled and did not respond. she has children you know? some more her children drive cars. you should just ignore her. then hor, even if you want to pay her, you should just give her s$2! you spoil market only! i continued smiling as i went ahead to eat my noodles.
next time, you should not give. you should only give to people who are handicapped. people who have no hands and legs and cannot work. they are the ones that deserve our help, not this type of people! she advised. and for the next 10min, both aunties ranted non-stop about the lady. how shameful it was to ask for money, how she, as an abled person, should instead look for a job yadda yadda yadda. it was an interesting experience. to me, the disapproval by both aunties reflect a deeper psyche of self-reliance and hardwork, and only help people who really needed help. their responses was exactly the same as my mum and her generation of people, and perhaps is also reflected in the country's social policies - encouraging individuals to help themselves and be self-reliant.
the incident made me reflected a bit more as i ate. have anyone ever considered things from the lady's angle? that she, from the same generation of the aunties, would probably share the same values and as such, would have felt embarrassed to ask for a bowl of noodle (i choose not to use the term "beg"). thus, for her to do so would therefore mean she probably has issues beyond my understanding. no?
and with this reflection, i invariably get into the whole debate of whether in the context of charity, should one donate if there is a chance of the donation being misused... for which i shan't go into except that what is important is the source of the motivation of both parties, the one who help and the one who received the help. the whole crux of "intentionality", something that only the two parties are clear about.
i was glad to see the lady ordered a bowl of noodle and happily eating away. and i was surprised when she came up to me after she was done and wished that i would be blessed with wealth. and as she did so, the two aunties continued to give her disapproving stares.
an interesting morning indeed.
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