"that old woman..."

my second sis bought my mum dinner last friday. naturally, mum was excited about the outing. the dinner was an expensive one at a local 5-star hotel and my sis told me she called her 4 daughters along too. i knew right away would be an interesting evening. and it was. well, apart from their sibling rivalry and fights, which saw one not talking to another, i also witnessed their behaviour towards my mum. 

as a backdrop, i never fully agreed with how my sis brought up her kids. she was overly protective and spoilt them, to the point of allowing them to climb over her head. and whenever we shared our views about how she should guide her kids, she would snap at us and we ending up quarrelling. we have, over time, learnt not to share our thoughts with her. now, teaching kids values was never my sis's strong points and to me, her kids grew up totally wrong. but then again, that was how she wanted to do it and we couldn't say much. over time, everyone in the family saw her kids as ill-mannered, even my sis herself but it was too late now. then again, to the kids, they never ever considered themselves to be rude, much to my chagrin. and during the dinner, this happened. 

the dishes came one-by-one and for one particular dish, the staff asked if we wanted to eat the dish in a communal manner or to have it separated into individual portions. naturally, we asked for it to be served in individual portions. it so happened that in that dish, there was duck and as my mum didn't take duck, one of my niece asked the waiting staff not to serve her with it. we chatted as the waiting staff did the portioning near my nieces. and once he was done, he asked my niece who he should serve the portion (without the duck) to. 

"oh, serve this to that old woman over there..." uttered this niece, as she used her index finger to point at my mum. i knew she didn't mean it, but to me, by referring to my mum as "that old woman", she had crossed the line without realising it. i didn't hesitate to correct her. "halo! what old woman? that is your grandmother!" she understood my displeasure and simply nodded her head and smiled, somewhat apologetically. i generally do not chide them nor do i want to voice my displeasure. they have their own value system and can be very opinionated. and they can also be very rude to my sis but since she had allowed them to climb all over her, there is nothing much i could say.

but i think there is a certain level of basic decorum and social courtesy that they must be aware of. they can live by their standards up to a certain point. but beyond that, they have to be very conscious of what is appropriate behaviour. they have never dared to be rude to me. and certainly, i would not want to have my mum feel disrespected too (although i know they do respect my mum). and that is where i need to draw the very fine and delicate line.

but of cos, they were very nice young adults. very idealistic in their views, and perhaps come across as very naive about the world too. this is an unforgiving world.  let's hope they learn their ways fast. or they are in for a really rude shock.