losing my cool

i lost my cool this week. 

there were so many pressing projects, training, workshops to be done and all of them happened altogether, back-to-back. and when such things happened, one would have thought the organizer/ co-ordinator of the event would have placed emphasis, time and effort to make sure things were co-ordinated well and executed smoothly. but this was apparently not the case.

accordingly, one of my company department had organized a conference this week and the co-ordinator had arranged for the hotel ballroom to be available for us to do the layout check and a rehearsal on the eve of the conference. and last week, we had a detailed co-ordinating meeting all agreed to a cue table that i worked out and that everyone would give his/ her requirement to the co-ordinator for compilation before the final rehearsal. we also agreed that we would go through the details on the eve of the conference and for me to do a facilitator briefing/ training. this, to me, was perhaps the most important part of the whole build up to the event. and we agreed to meet at 2pm for the set up and the rehearsal.

and guess what, my staff and i arrived at 2pm, and we waited till close to 3.30pm before the organizer turned up. and added to that, they were totally disorganized and my staff and i had to assist them in rearranging the tables and chairs and packing the gift pack (total of 70 packs altogether). it was until almost 5pm before i could start any so called rehearsal/ facilitator training. as bad as things were, less than half the nominated facilitators turned up. reasons for why the others did not turn up vary from oh, he has applied leave, to oh, he has been tasked to do a training last minute to, oh, she needs to do some printing of materials and thus couldn't be around. not acceptable reasons if you ask me. excuses. it was not a case of the agreed timing being given last minute. to me, it reflected lack of leadership emphasis and absolute lack of co-ordination. it was a failure at all levels.

and for those who turned up, they were chatting away, making phone calls, etc… doing all sorts of things and not listening to my briefing. i had to spend lots of time to keep asking them to focus back onto the briefing. when i was almost 3/4 through my briefing, one of the facilitator made a comment/ asked some f-ing stupid question. why did you say this, why don't you say that? granted the comment was an appropriate one, but with my totally flustered state of mind, i started to sound impatient. but of cos, i did not scream at them. i simply said, very firmly. i know where you are coming from and rest assure what i present would be in context and i will explained it appropriately. and not stopping or perhaps he did not sense my displeasure, he went on, so what do you expect us to do? as the mc, i want to do this and i want to know how you will end. i lost my cool totally with that question.

sorry, i had gone through the details and you were apparently not listening to me. and last week when i worked out the checklist and the cue table, i had asked for every single person to list your requirement so that we can include everyone's points in working out how the event will unfold. and no one, not a single one of you got back. and now, you tell me you have new requirements. to tell you the truth, i am bloody pissed off now. what are your requirement? please state it clearly so everyone knows about it and we can weave it into the event list. also, i do appreciate if everyone can give me your attention. now let me repeat the whole briefing. i believed i got my point through. very clearly. everyone stopped what they were doing and gave me their full attention. in less than couple of seconds, one of them received a call and answered. that disrupted my briefing again. this time round, i did not continue. i simply stopped my brief and just stared at her. the whole ballroom was silent, less her phone conversation. everyone knew i meant business when i demanded their attention.

i totally couldn't understand this. you guys have asked me to help out in the conference. and after agreeing to help, you guys simply throw the whole day's program to me and didn't even assist me in developing the content. and to make things worst, everyone simply did not show interest in wanting to work as a team, each looking only after his/ her own interest. and every thing came out totally disjointed. it was totally unacceptable to me. and it was so at every single-level. from the coordinator all the way up to the head of the department. to me, i couldn't care less even if you are the head. when it comes to getting things done and done right, i will step in and i will demand for things to be done right. and if need be, i will take over command. you may not be too bothered about your department's reputation if things go wrong, but to me, it is not just about your department's reputation, i am concern about the company's reputation.

and when it comes to that, every one must work as an integrated team.

period.