pool of blood

i am very angry now. have been angry since 2 hours ago...

in the past 4 days, mum fell 3 times. and all 3 times, it was avoidable. 3 days ago, it was at the car park. she got out of the car and stepped onto her panties. yesterday, she fell at the car park after lunch. and it was becos she has the habit of throwing herself onto the car seat even before she fully got into the car. told her so many times not to do and many a times, i have to rush to her and hold her back before she throws herself onto the seat, and there had been many near misses, yet she still do it. and today, she fell again. and finally, things got bloody. very bloody for that matter. here're the details...

my sis did her laundry at my place and i helped her dry and fold her clothes for her. she was to come over to collect her laundry in the evening. and becos mum was feeling weak, i waited for sis to come before heading out to get groceries and household stuff at the nearby supermarket. mum asked me to go ahead, no need to stay by her as she would be fine. under normal circumstances i would proceed, but today i refused to cos i knew she was weak. so once my sis came over, i left. and to make sure she sleeps well, i administered her medication to her before leaving. once again, before leaving, i told her my sis would simply collect her laundry and that she should lie on the sofa and sleep (she refused to sleep in her room) and not move about unnecessarily. 

i went out and came back less than an hour later. when the lift door opened, i heard sapphie barked. i knew at once something was wrong for sapphie would usually not bark when mum was asleep. and when i opened the door, i found mum sitting on the floor by the kitchen door. and there was a pool of blood on the floor. mum looked a little daze and when she saw me, she said she fell. i spared no time to quickly get some water and tissue to clean the blood and checked where the blood came from. and i traced it to her toes. the skin on her toe joint had hardened and due to the fall, it cracked and bled. the crack was really bad. in fact, when i first looked at it, i thought her toe was about to fall off. it was just that scary.

as i cleaned her wounds and the pool of blood on the floor, i asked why she didn't take my advice and sleep. she said she wanted to close the kitchen door! omfg! her reply got me one helluva freaking angry. she has this bloody freaking fear of people coming into the house and she would go about closing doors and windows to ensure no one could come into the house (to harm her). and come on, this was not even a normal door! it was a kitchen door. a door installed to make sure the oil do not fly into the living room! and when i told her that since she was so fearful of unclosed doors, i might as well remove the kitchen door. after all, i rationalized, i do not cook much and this door was as good as non-functional. and she said, if you remove the door, i will move out of the house. what! it got me angrier. go, go and find a house in singapore that has a door between the kitchen and living room! hardly! and to think she threaten to leave the house just becos of a door. totally not logical! geeze! anyway, after cleaning up the blood, she couldn't get up. she was too weak to even carry her own heavy weight. and i couldn't carry her nor lift her up too cos my back was bad and still weak. it was not until some 10min of pulling and twisting that we managed to slowly get her to stand up and move back to the sofa. 

fucking hell! all the falls and the blood. just to close a freaking non-functional door.

totally illogical and not worth it.