anxious again

my impending start of my employment means that there would be a change in routines and i had expected to see mum going mental again. yup, here we go again, same old shit again... at the mental institute yesterday, i told the doctor to give me a review date in a month's time and not 6 weeks as per usual. and i did so as i had observed signs of anxiety since i told her i had accepted the job and would start work 1 apr. i thought a date closer to my start work date would help. 

and for a start, i noted her questioning of who i go out with, where i go, what time i will be coming back is increasing. these are signs of anxiety. and to make things more tense, her line of questioning is always from a rather confrontational angle. she would scream out at me and asked questions like: "you went out last night again right?" or "later, who you meeting?" or "how come you are not going to stay at home?" and all these questions even before i can utter a single word or even to tell her that hey, i will not be going out. and when i tried to convince her that i will not be going out or that i will only be going out for a while, she would then get defensive and give responses like "you wanna go out, you go lor. who am i to stop you?" this pattern had played up many a times lately. and even when i go out, she would call my siblings (according to her) that i have left her alone at home. naturally, my siblings would be very concern.. oh how can he leave you alone? they would say, according to mum. then again, i do suspect these things were not my siblings expressed sentiments but her very own.

and yesterday, things turned out a little hostile. i had to conduct an interview for an executive at a mall after office hours. and so, i left her at home. i told her i would be home about 8 or 8.30pm latest. and at 8.15pm, she called me and screamed out at me: "how come you have not come home yet!!!!!!!" frankly, i was pissed off. i have not even taken dinner and had just done an interview and here she was, screaming at me. i rushed home and she gave me hostile looks. i told her i have not taken dinner and asked if she wanted to head out to do some shopping and she replied sarcastically, "you wanna go out, you go lor, i didn't stop you. also, why you come home without taking dinner?" it was very frustrating and i chided her for making a fuss out of nothing, considering the fact that it was not even 8.30pm. and i told her that if she were to go on behaving this way, i might as well not start work. she kept quiet and sulk.

so... ya, can see she is showing signs of anxiety again.