last evening, i decided to head out of the house for tau huay in the evening. and in order to make sure mum does not freak out, i deliberately prep her mentally about it throughout the whole evening. and she seemed ok with it. so, after putting her to bed, i left.
when i returned not too long after, she had fallen asleep. quietly i brought the dog for her pre-sleep pee before retiring to bed. being a light sleeper, i was awaken about 1-ish by someone opening the main door. well, mum must have woken up to check the door, something that i have gotten used to cos she would check all the openings to make sure everything is locked in the middle of the night. and so, i went back to sleep. i was awaken at about 2am again, this time by her switching on her bedroom lights. hmm, she must have gone into her room to sleep, i thought and went back to sleep again. at about 3.45am, i was rudely awaken by sapphie's bark. next thing i knew, i heard mum calling out to me. immediately, i jumped out of bed to check and when i opened the door, it was a rather pitiful sight i saw.
mum looked all worried and scared. and she said she dare not sleep cos i had not returned. she had switched on all the lights in the house and added that she had been chanting non-stop through the night to ask god to protect her. she went further to question why i did not return till the wee hours of the morning... huh? i thought, what wee hours of the morning? of cos, i was not happy that she had over-reacted again. much as i wanted to get angry, i tried hard to hold back and reasoned with her that since sapphie was not in the living room, it could only mean that sapphie was asleep in my room. she then retorted that she thought i had taken sapphie out for a long walk and did not return through the night. hmmm, she was getting defensive i thought and i asked how come she did not check the presence of my slippers at the main door since she opened the door earlier? she kept quiet.
i told her she had over-reacted and that all her fear were totally unfounded and illogical. she kept quiet and went on to switch off all the lights again and went back to sleep. sighs. it seemed like her anxiety is working up again. and at this rate, i will probably end up being tired out again even before i start work 2 week's time!
but well, let's hope not.
2 comments:
Yes, no love is greater than the mother's love. No matter how old you are, she still see the need to take care of you. Remind me of how mom used to stay up even till 4-5 am when I was working late.
I can't really visualise what goes on in your mom's mind but whether she's into her 2nd childhood or not, one thing for sure, you are her son and not having you around means alot to her. SInce people with dementia can't quite think clearly, maybe to lessen your stress, you need to set a deal with her that you will call her at a certain time when you start work. I know this can be rather tiring especially since we never know when we might just be very busy at that point in time. Maybe can pick timing like just before lunch or before knocking off. Another strange way i thot about would be to use today's advance technology. You know how some people are planting cams at home to monitor the domestic helpers. I don't really know if this will work but do the reverse, put cam on your desk and let your mom monitor you from home. Sound freaky but just a thot. :) if mothers can stay up at god forsaken hours to make sure we are safe, I think doing anything for them is never too great or enough.
~ shyC
Well, yup agree that no one really knows what goes through the mind. it could be of care and concern for her son or it could also be of self-preservation as a result of paranoia. Whichever the case, I have come to a point where i have accepted that she is an elderly person who is sick.
And with regards calling her at regular times of the day, yes, she does call me during her lunchtime. She goes to the elderly rehab daily and about about 1130-1245, she'd call me, else i will call her. It's become a routine and she gets very upset when i do not pickup the call for whatever reasons (eg when I shower). and when this happens, i can expect as many as 15-20 missed calls from her...
Post a Comment