days of pure hell...

the past few days have been very difficult. the pain was really excruciating, especially during the first couple of days and based on the pain scale of 1 to 10, i would give it a 10 without thinking twice, and for that matter, even 11 or 12 or more if i have a choice! unlike previous times when i had sprained back, this time round it was extra challenging becos i have to also look after mum at the same time, and bee was not with me, in part becos mum was afraid of him, and in part becos he was overseas. and so, i had to survive through the pain almost singlehandedly. thankfully, on the first 2 days or so, my sis bought the meals and i could simply lie in bed, but after that, i was very much left on my own. but, hey, i made it! heh. anyway, this post is meant to capture what i experienced over the past days.

• in the first 3-4 days, the pain will occur whenever i have small movements that involved my back. and yes, you can never imagine how much you actually use your back until you get back ache!
• i could not stand, sit or lie down too long without the muscles entering a string of spasms. and when it occur, god bless me... my whole back would tense up/ stiffened up and i would be holding myself back from screaming out in pain. and i would be in this position for a good 5-6 seconds and waiting for the slow relaxing of my muscles to occur. imagine having 3-4 spasms through the middle of the night when you sleep... arghhh... cry!
• when i sleep, i had to sleep like how you would when you lie in a coffin. face up. and i cannot turn cos the pain will strike at the lower back and it will immediately send the body into a wave of muscle spasms...
• i could not bend, regardless of whether i was standing, sitting or lying down. when i tried to do so, the movements would immediately trigger a muscle spasm and the whole back will tense up and the pain will shoot from the lower back to the head and the legs...
• that means, i could not wear my pants, or take off my pants, put on clothes, take things, cover myself with blanket, lift up my hands, etc... in fact, anything that would require some form of stretches to the back muscle will result in muscle spasms...
• the pain was terrible when i transit between standing, sitting or lying down. in fact, at its peak, it took me minimally 15 minutes to transit from lying down to sitting up in bed. and another 2-3 minutes to stand up. and even then, i had to hold onto the 4-legged walking frame in order to stand up. and another minute of so for my body to slowly get use to the standing position before i can move a step.
• so, with the time required for the above, i needed to give myself a lot a lot of allowance if i wanted to, say, pee. it took about 20 mins for me to get to the toilet bowl from my lying position in bed...
• and i had to try my hardest not to cough, laugh, and anything that would make my body move in such a way that would create any pressure on my bad back, or the spasm will occur.
• and so, it was amidst all these pains that i had to bring mum her medication to her rehab center, to buy her food, to worry about her meals, to worry about her medications...
• and it was amidst all these pains that i had to continue to also make sure sapphie is brought down to pee, to shit, etc
• and it was amidst all these pains that i had to continue with my daily routines like bathing, cleaning the house, washing the toilet, sweeping the floor, etc... 
• on day 5 when things were a little more stable, i was at least able to move about slowly. and that was when i decided to drive mum to my brother's place... to keep her occupied while i rest.
• it is day 6 today, and i was able to move about a little more easily, and head out to the market for lunch... the pains are a lot less and the spasm has receded to almost none (unless there are sudden jerking movements)

hopefully, things will be back to normal again in the next 2-3 days or so....

:-)