vomit blood

today was vomit blood day. thankfully, i am no dracula, else i would have died of starvation. here's why...

i had to sign the contract today and had been told there will be a briefing of sorts for me after that. and since the contract signing was at 10.30am, i suspected i would only leave the office earliest by about noon. and so with this in mind, i told mum i will be in a meeting and that she should not call me. i needed to prep her cos it was her habit to call me at about noon daily during her lunch break. and given the fact that she was feeling the after-effects of yesterday's infusion, i told her she should rest at the rehab center and not do any exercise. i closed the loop by calling the rehab center and giving them instructions to let her rest. finally, i pushed my lunch appointment till 1.30pm. and with all these arrangements in place, i thought everything would went well and good. until...

i signed the contract at 10.30am. and the briefing went as planned. while i was in the middle of the talk with my chief, my mum called. i looked at the time. 11.30am. hmmm, she was early, i thought and ignored her call. the phone was in silent mode thankfully. the meeting ended at 12pm. i walked out of the office and i took a look on my phone... 11 missed calls. sighs. ok, not as bad as last week where i had 15 missed calls. i called back and she said she felt uneasy and her body ached. yes, it was to be expected for the next 3 days after her infusion i reminded her. she said she had never felt so pain before (as usual) and she wanted to take painkillers. normally, her medication timing was at 2-3pm (both painkiller and mental-medication for her paranoia). but ok, i said, since she was uncomfortable, i reckoned it should be ok to take it at 1pm. but do not take it any earlier i told her. i was conscious of the need to space out the mental-medication to balance off with her evening dosage at 9pm. she said ok and hung up. 5min later, i called her to check if she was feeling ok and she said she had taken her medication. wtf! arghhh... ok, ok... no choice. since she has taken it, so be it. but please rest and don't move about, i reminded her. her session normally end at 3pm and i would wait for her at the lift landing to escort her up, i said. she said ok and i proceeded to lunch with kwang.

i was in the middle of lunch when i got a call from the rehab center staff. your mum said she was feeling unwell, we want to send her to the hospital, he said. huh? no, no, there is no requirement to, i said. in fact, i had explained to their boss that mum would feel unwell today and simply needed to rest. yes, he said, but your mum said she feels very unwell and we do not know what to do. tell you what, can you come and fetch her home? we do not want to hold her. hmmm... wtf, ok, i will do so, i said. called mum and insisted she was ok resting at the rehab center. nonetheless, i ended the lunch early and rushed to the rehab center to fetch her. and when i reached there, i realized it was movie day. everyone was simply relaxing and watching a movie. it was then that i realized mum simply wanted to go home... 

somehow, i felt superbly agitated by the way things unfolded. i had done so much mental prep for her. i had given all sorts of instructions, i had called and checked, i had... yet, she simply insisted on her way. finally, i told her, if she goes on like this, it will be very difficult for me to start work. and her reply? ok, in that case, i shall simply stay at home and not go rehab center... faint, i placed her in the rehab center precisely becos i need to work!

sighs. as i noted earlier, an anxious mum is one helluva problematic. but what else can i do?

sighs sighs sighs...