unacceptable conduct...

as i reflected on the issue of managing heartbreaks, i also thought about some of the things that i have seen and that i will not accept nor engage in when it comes to relationships. to me these are very unethical and reflects a value-system of the individual/s that is very different from mine. i shall share a few of them here. but i do want to qualify that these are what i will not do, but i will not judge people when they do it for i do have friends who commonly do such things. here goes.

• i will not flirt with a friend's partner, openly or secretly. no matter how cute he is or how close i am to them, my friend's partner will always be his partner. explicit compliments will only be made known in the presence of my friend. flirting with a friend's partner as an individual will invariably lead to more things and i do not want to mislead nor create conditions whether either one of us will get ourselves caught in difficult emotional knots. this is about self-responsibility. failure to uphold this, to me, is a sign of the lack of self-love and self-security; and a lack of respect to my friend.

• i will not date a friend's partner secretly. no matter how desirable he is, my friend's partner will always be his partner. ditto above.

• i will not shag nor get shagged by a friend's partner secretly. no matter how desirable or well-endowed he is, my friend's partner will always be his partner. ditto above.

• i will not break a friend's relationship no matter how distant this friend is.

• i will not enter into a relationship with someone within my group of close friends.

• i will not draw lines with friends who break-up with their partners. 

• i will not take sides with any single party of the couple when they break-up. people break-up for reasons that are valid to them. and if they come to me, i will listen and i will share my perspective but i will not take sides

again, i iterate here that while i do not condone not engage in such behaviour, it doesn't mean i will judge nor stop my friends from doing it. for that matter, i do have friends who exchange partner with each other like nobody business. it's rather weird. it's like "a" pairs with "b", "c" pairs with "d", "e" pairs with "f", then "a" secretly dates "c", "b" secretly dates "e", they shag each other behind each other's back... and then when one finds out, everything went awry, but after a few weeks, when the emotions cool down, the new equation is "a" pairs with "c", "b" pairs with "e", etc... and then the musical chairs happen again a few months later within the same group... it's very confusing right?

no, no, no... such inter-friend dynamics is totally beyond me...  

:-)

picture from http://www.homorazzi.com