pestering mum

i felt rather irritated and unhappy with mum these few days. but i kept my cool cos she is having early stage dementia and is probably not in a proper state to think about other people's well-being.

you see, 3 days ago, i had a very bad back sprain and since then, i have been nursing my bad back. as a result, i was bedridden most of the time and was unable to move much. and of all things, she went to do her laundry yesterday. ok, before going further, the context is that she had been told many times not to do laundry cos she gets breathless and carrying heavy things will endanger her life. so, when i asked her why she did so, she said she didn't want to trouble me given my back problem. well, of cos, i should feel appreciated but she failed to realize that if she had a fall or if her breathlessness strike, i would not be able to manage the situation. but ok, i took it positively and thanked her for the wrongly placed but well-intended considerations. i have moved on...

and yesterday, while i was all groggy from my medication, the rehab center called up. just now, your mum said she didn't want to come to the center, the rehab center manager said. she said she wanted to go see doctor and said her whole body was aching. i was concerned but thankfully the rehab manager assured me that her staff didn't leave her and insisted that she go to the rehab center instead. i asked to speak with my mum and she complained that her body ached. and she asked me to bring her pain medication to her. and so, with me feeling drowsy and with muscles pulling like no tomorrow, i brought her her medication. almost died of pain doing that. and to top it off, as i was driving, mum called and chide me for being slow. hiaz... anyway, i suspected her pain was a result of her doing the laundry. nonetheless, by late afternoon, she said all her pain was gone.

and today, when i went to the hospital, she went out on her own to see the family doctor. and i didn't know about it until i came home and found her panting in the sofa. she said her body was painful and decided to go out on her own since i was not home. and guess what, the medication she was prescribed with were the same as those i have been giving her. i told her not to do such stupid thing again cos the last time she did the same, she fell in the middle of the road and sustained quite a bit of bloody bruises. if it happens again, i am sure it will not be just bruises we have to contend with.

and then, just now, she asked me to bring her out to the shopping center to buy her herbal wine. she said she had finished her last bottle and without the wine, she feels tired and her body aches. and when i told her i will buy for her, she insisted on coming along. i told her i would not be able to handle her wheelchair for her due to my bad back and she turned defensive. i can walk! i don't need the wheelchair, she insisted. i told her there was no way i could manage her if she trip and fall, and she became unhappy. so in the end, i gave in and brought her out to buy her herbal wine and to get her her dinner too. but i insisted she stay in the car while i head to the shop to buy cos i couldn't manage the wheelchair. and interestingly, she told my sis i insisted on going out despite her telling me to rest! doh!

sighs... very challenging indeed.