i have a close friend by the initials of lb. we got to know each other in the early 90s when he got posted to my unit after passing out from ocs. his 100-and-10% devotion of time to his work reminded me so much of myself when i was his age (he's 6 yrs my junior). his work ethics coupled with his down-to-earth unassuming nature made me gravitate to him and we became very good friends. we shared many good memories in the unit and his family treats me like a close relative. i was there when his dad passed away. and to help with family expenses, he signed on. i was there when he got married. i was there when his brother got married. and i was there when his wife gave birth to 2 beautiful girls. he asked me to be the godfather of the elder girl. but over time, both the girls came to address me as uncle-daddy. to me, being a godfather somehow helped elevate me to a `parent' status although i am not married. so yearly, i would buy them lanterns and mooncakes during mid-autumn festivals, give them ang pows on lunar new year, etc. this went on for many years. the girls are in primary school now.
and even though we do not contact each other very often, lb and i would once a while sms each other with a simple `how are you' or something like that. and of cos, being a very traditional person that he has always been, he would make sure he bring his wife and daughters to visit me during every chinese new year. but somehow, over the last 3/4 year or so, his sms stopped. last mooncake festival, i visited his family to pass mooncakes to him. he was at work. and when i smsed him about half a year ago and he said something about me needing to get a job or i will become lazy. i told him i would do so soon. and that was the last time we contacted. things got very cold after that. there was no more exchanges of sms. there was no christmas nor new year greetings. and when lunar new year came, he did not return my lunar new year sms greetings. and worst still, he did not even bring his family to visit me. my mind started running wild overtime. why did this happen? was he unhappy with something i said? or something i did? or did he find out about my sexuality and is now avoiding me? hmmm... if this was the case, then i supposed he is more homophobic that i thought. yes... hmmm... so, i decided to just leave it. let it be. i shan't contact him further. out of sight, out of mind. so i thought.
then again, it didn't feel right that i just let this relationship disappear just like that. there were perhaps too many assumptions on my part as to why he did not sms me. if he did not sms me, i could sms him right? he might have perfectly valid reasons for not contacting me. and my not contacting him would certainly not help. hmmm... and, so i smsed him again today and asked how he is doing. he replied promptly. he's been freaking busy. with work. he mentioned something about trying to find a suitable time where he could fix a dinner with me together with his family. i must say this reply was rather reassuring. i guessed he had not changed a bit. his `disappearance' was simply a case of him being too busy...
:-)
and even though we do not contact each other very often, lb and i would once a while sms each other with a simple `how are you' or something like that. and of cos, being a very traditional person that he has always been, he would make sure he bring his wife and daughters to visit me during every chinese new year. but somehow, over the last 3/4 year or so, his sms stopped. last mooncake festival, i visited his family to pass mooncakes to him. he was at work. and when i smsed him about half a year ago and he said something about me needing to get a job or i will become lazy. i told him i would do so soon. and that was the last time we contacted. things got very cold after that. there was no more exchanges of sms. there was no christmas nor new year greetings. and when lunar new year came, he did not return my lunar new year sms greetings. and worst still, he did not even bring his family to visit me. my mind started running wild overtime. why did this happen? was he unhappy with something i said? or something i did? or did he find out about my sexuality and is now avoiding me? hmmm... if this was the case, then i supposed he is more homophobic that i thought. yes... hmmm... so, i decided to just leave it. let it be. i shan't contact him further. out of sight, out of mind. so i thought.
then again, it didn't feel right that i just let this relationship disappear just like that. there were perhaps too many assumptions on my part as to why he did not sms me. if he did not sms me, i could sms him right? he might have perfectly valid reasons for not contacting me. and my not contacting him would certainly not help. hmmm... and, so i smsed him again today and asked how he is doing. he replied promptly. he's been freaking busy. with work. he mentioned something about trying to find a suitable time where he could fix a dinner with me together with his family. i must say this reply was rather reassuring. i guessed he had not changed a bit. his `disappearance' was simply a case of him being too busy...
:-)
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