ajahn brahm talk

happily, i attended a talk by ajahn brahm at the temple yesterday with bee and a couple of friends. the talk centered on the happiness journey and lots of good simple lessons were shared. here's some... too bad i couldn't write more cos my phone died on me... sighs!

• leave the problems behind, learn the reasons why things become positive and make the positives more positive
• learn how to forgive, learn and grow. learn to recreate the happiness
• learn to upgrade, in bigger heart, in happiness, and not in material things
• define progress correctly, progress in the growth of the heart
• don't worry about face. It is not what others think of you, but what you yourself think of yourself, know yourself, love yourself. that is what being happy is about.
• regardless of what trauma happens to you, transform your negatives and make them positive for you. open your heart to yourself, let yourself in. only than can you transform yourself, happiness comes in, compassion comes in. you'll find you have peace of mind, everything that happened has a reason.
• when you experience extreme negatives in life, change your attitude, don't try to get rid of the experience, embrace it, let it into your heart. then healing will start, and love will start, happiness will come in.
• death is natural, your job as a doctor is to care, not cure. open the door of your heart.
• regardless of your sexuality, political affiliation, professions, faith, we will care for you, not cure you (by changing you)
• it is always win win in buddhism, if we try to care, we will cure more. put care in front of cure and cure will take place. think patch adams!
• as a parent.
• treat your children kindly, when they grow up. they may go away for a while, a long while, but they will come back, and when they do so, they will appreciate you a lot a lot more.
• trust your children, don't cage them up, open the cage, let them go, let them grow. cage them up and they will not come back to you once they have a chance to go! give your kids a break! they will make mistakes, they will hurt themselves, but they will learn! they will inherit the immune system of the disease kind and of the heart kind. if you are really caring of your kids, let them go, let them learn!
• as children.
• we are not perfect, there were times we weren't kind to our parents. we will feel guilty. but we must learn to forgive ourselves. we love our parents, we do make our parent's lives miserable, but know that our parents love us, they will forgive us. and with this, we must also learn to forgive ourselves.
• if you love someone, tell them!!!

the most important thing i learned in the talk is "care not cure". often, we cannot cure people (of their sexuality, their illnesses, their death, their crime...) but we can care for them. show them love, respect them, and open our hearts to them. but to be able to do 100%, we must first face up to ourselves, accept ourselves and love ourselves.

when we can do this, we will be happy.

picture from http://www.buddhistfellowship.org/cms/