goddess @ bedok

one of the places that i bring mum for her breakfast frequently is the hawker center at bedok north. and this is becos mum's vegetarian and there is this vegetarian store there that sells a rather good variety of vegetarian food that taste good and at a very affordable price. and i would also buy the you char kueh from one of the store. once a while i would chat with the hawkers, ask about their well-being, about their business and so on. now, the store owners of the stores i frequent know my "standard" orders and would prepare the food before i could even get a seat. and they are also nice enough to help me find a table where i can wheel my mum to. there were times where they even ask some customers to vacate the table for us! so nice of them right? ha!

now, in this post, i want to write about the uncle that sells you char kueh. he has a low iq son. and we know this cos his son would come to help him out on weekends and he would behave in a rather weird manner. a little off, if you know what i mean. you char kueh uncle is a rather reserved person who does not chat easily. he would simply prepare his fare and his son would do the selling. once a while, i would ask about his business and whether things are good with him. he would simply smile and nods his head. some time last month, you char kueh uncle asked me if there are any other persons helping me look after mum, and whether i was working... it was interesting cos this uncle usually do not talk to his customers. i told him about my unemployment accordingly and again, he nodded his head and smiled. he gave me some words of encouragement and i thanked him and left. we didn't talk further after that. and yesterday, i went to his store to buy you char kueh for mum again. his son was not around (schooling i believe) and he came forward. he took a look at me, and from out of no where, he said the following to me (in hokkien)...

you need to get a job, not a wise idea to get dry because of your mum. and you need to look after yourself, your mum is probably in a state where she is no longer logical. it is difficult looking after her cos she will scold you, and she will say hurtful words, but please do not take it to heart, do not let the words get into you. i know cos i have walked this path, as long as your conscience are clear. look after yourself, if not, before she goes, you will go. and that is not good. she is old, and you have a life ahead, learn to let her go now. she is no longer a normal person. give yourself breaks whenever you need. go out, do not feel guilty. do not take her words to heart and carry on with your life. 

i was totally stunt. for out of no where, you char kueh uncle said all these things and it was so timely cos mum's mental health had only recently deteriorated. as we chatted, mum just looked at us talking, wondering what transpired. it was interesting. at the hawker center, there is often this difficult and invisible wall between the hawkers and customers given the perceived difference in social status. and to get you char kueh uncle shared with me a list of treasures and advices so willingly, it felt so good. i will always remember his words of encouragements and advice. i am thankful to him for that.

and really, for that moment, i do not see uncle talking to me, i see the manifestation of the goddess of mercy.

amitofo!

picture from http://www.pureinsight.org/node/1658