why are homosexuals referred to as gay when almost all of us are anything but happy? was it a name that was coined to reflect the state of being that we want to be or perhaps coined with a deep sense of cynicism and/ or sarcasm, knowing jolly well that as an individual, or for that matter, as a community, we will never ever be truly happy? i mean, isn't it really really weird that we have to constantly struggle to be acknowledged and accepted by people around us? when all we want is to be just normal people, living as part of a family, community, society...? and why do many of us end up having to single-handedly look after our elderly parent, just because we are not married? wtf!
hmmm... i just had a super bad day, and ya, you know it is with who, and am feeling one helluva blah now.
post script: have taken a read from wiki and it gives an interesting explanation of the history behind the term "gay"... and oh, a gay man actually refers to a womanizer a long time back, before it was used to refer to the homosexual man! heh...
picture from http://www.paradisenudismhotel.com
9 comments:
Hey, is everything all right?
Remember to take care of yourself too.
managing managing... thanks.
Hang in there.
sigh, don't know what to say. But you will have to get help in taking care of her or really considering putting her into a home. It's just not possible to manage all this alone; & if family cannot (won't?) help out, it might mean desperate measures...
thanks j...
Hi Peace,
"Germs" is a good friend. I didn't have the guts to mention what is probably inevitable (judging by friends experience with dementia in the aged). But, everything in its own time. It is a very difficult personal decision.
The gerontologist should be helpful in understanding when the time is appropriate.
Best wishes.
Thanks Edwin, no worries about mentioning any of these. I am a very open person. Managing of sickness, health, birth and death etc are part and parcel of life and thus, no topics are ever too taboo for me to talk about.
What I do recognize is that whatever comments/ suggestions put forth stems from good intentions and I am thankful for that.
:-)
Thanks again for the encouragement!
With regards the idea of putting her in a home, it is one of the many options that needs to be looked into. Some of the factors that needs some deeper considerations include (1) whether my mum is receptive and (2) whether my siblings are receptive...
For the former, I do recognize that in time to come, she may not nec be in a state of mind to make any decisions and that we as children would have to decide for her. The more tricky one is the receptiveness of my siblings... that if not managed properly would lead to a lot more downstream repercussions, even after my mum leaves us. But increasingly, I can sense my siblings (especially my brother) seeing the possibility of putting her in a home as a workable option (something that he vehemently disagree with previously).
Of cos, one other option is to let her stay at home till the come when she is no longer mobile and totally bed-ridden. And when that occurs, the option of a domestic help would be possible.
These are all options and all come with different considerations and financial implications. But for now, I am just taking a step at a time.
Hi Peace,
It sounds like you are thinking it through well.
Of course, for me, I think about the future of my mother when she might be unable to be independent. It is an emotional issue since she really doesn't want to go to a nursing home (too many old people ;-) Plus, it's another step.
It's good that you are willing to share since it encourages me to think and feel about the issues. Easier to ignore until its unavoidable, but better to think ahead.
Thanks
Hey Edwin,
I am slowly coming to appreciate the fact that, just like my experience in managing my dad's funeral rites, it is important (and probably more important) to manage the expectations and feelings of the healthy people than that of the sick elderly. Well, not that the sentiments of the sick elderly is not important, but there is this very delicate balance that needs to be maintained such that at times, there might be a need to skew decision-making towards what is needful rather than what the elderly wants. So, yup, as you said, it is an emotional thing.
And I am reminded of what a doctor friend's advice - whatever decisions you make, make sure it is with the blessings of all the family members. Else, you will have to carry the burden of the decision for the rest of your life...
Not easy. Not easy at all...
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