keeping away

since leaving service, i have deliberately avoided any jobs that is related to my previous organisation or even government-linked organisations that is seemingly homophobic. this is becos i do not have the confidence in the security department to leave me alone. i believe they will continue to haunt me if i were to apply for any jobs in these government set-ups. i am a very wary of this because of a friend's experience. he left the organisation after being outed by them couple of years back and went on to work for a bank. all was well for a couple of years and last year, he left the bank to join a company that was set-up to organise an international games. once he joined the company, he was called up by the ceo and questioned about his intentions for joining them. i understood that he was asked if he joined them becos he was interested in the `boys'. when he told me about this, the only conclusion i came to was that the security department had passed information about his sexuality to the ceo of this company. he came clean with the ceo saying that he did not join them becos of the `boys' but rather for the experience and the opportunity to be part of a defining moment of our nation's history. well, this incident made me very very aware of the possibility of them becoming an obstacle to me when and if i were to join a government set-up.

thus, over the past 9 months, i have time and again rejected any calls by friends from within the organisation for me to join them despite many occasions where there were perfect skill-match. it was not worth a second thought. just today, i got a call from a friend. he is in the technology-related set-up of my previous employer and asked if i am keen to join him given that my background fits the requirements very well. needless to say, i told him i'd rather not for i am in the final stages of negotiating for a job. admittedly, i do see it as lost opportunities and i do have the slight tendency to want to be bitter about it. but time and again, i convinced myself that perhaps there was a larger force out there telling me and forcing me to make me break away from my comfort zone and to find a new direction in my life. push on. push on, i always remind myself. it is not a good idea to look back. it is high time to look forward and chart out my direction away from the organisation. move ahead and press on!

:-)