my neighbour's boy

this morning, as i was walking to my block from the car park, i chanced upon my neighbour's boy, benedict. he was waiting for someone... and as i was about to talk to him, i saw his dad's car driving towards us... and i asked: "oh hi, waiting for your dad is it?" to which he quickly replied: "no, no, i am waiting to collect something."... i noted some discomfort in his body language and sensed something was wrong. nonetheless, i smiled and went along. as i turned into the lift landing, his dad saw me and we waved.

waited for the lift. and as i waited, benedict and his dad exchanged some pleasantries. it sounded rather warm. the lift came a while later. by which time, benedict has already taken the stuff from his dad... and i saw the reflection of him in the marble wall walking towards the lift. so i decided to wait for him. but before he turned into the lift landing, he stopped and peeped. i believed he had noted the lift opened in the marble reflection and he waited. it was rather obvious that he was avoiding getting into the lift with me. perhaps it was cos he was afraid i would ask further about his dad.

i left him alone. it was rather sad to see him behave this way. and i noticed this behaviour ever since his dad kinda "disappeared" from the estate some months back. my own suspicions was that his parents have separated and that his dad would only occasionally dropped by to pass things to him or to bring him out.

i came home. feeling sad. much as i would like to reach out to this boy, and to give him my support, i felt it would not be right... well, at least until the parents decide to share the news of their separation with me...

sighs.

vegetarian pork 2

this is purely thinking aloud and not meant to show any disrespect to islam.

question: can muslims eat vegetarian pork?

my take is this - if we were to rationalise along the different levels as described in my previous post, my own personal take is yes if one focus purely on the physical abstenance of the meat itself. for eating vegetarian pork is nothing but eating tofu/ vegetable derivatives with seasonings that does not involve the use of any pig-derived product. but if we look at the psychological aspects of things, then the answer would be an outright no.

any views?

vegetarian pork & harmony

i've always heard people commenting - if people really wanna eat vegetarian, then why do they eat vegetarian pork? and when the discussion and debate goes into the crux of the reasons behind it, things can often get heated up. this sometimes lead to people passing uncalled for negative comments that certain religions are not consistent in their practises and so on. my take is that when one discusses issues at such a level, one may not necessary see the logic. i strongly feel that there is a need to not only discuss this issue at the activity (the practise)-level, but one must rationalise this practise within the ambit of the rationale/ intent as to why this practise came about to fully appreciate the meaning. without doing this, other issues may possibly convolute the whole discussion altogether and worst still, make the act look very hypocritical in itself! let me use the same example as above. if we were to analyse the whole rationale/ act behind the practise of eating vegetarian in the context of a buddhist, then it clears the whole issue... eg

• context - religion (buddhism)
• intent/ rationale - respect lives
• action/ non-action - abstain from killing
• options - to eat non-animal-based food/ vegetarian food
• manifestation - vegetarian pork

there are a few things one can see from the above. firstly, as we go down the levels, the number of possibilities increases. that is, things branches out exponentially as one goes lower down the levels. secondly, without understanding the rationale of things, one may possibly end up with a lot of tensions when one makes his/her options at the lower levels of options/ manifestations. it may cause a lot of internal tensions on a person that may possibly end up with a lot of very wrong and bad implications at a community/ societal-levels. for example, if we were to exist at the levels of practise for our religion and to impose on other people on our practises, then, there would be a lot of tensions. but if we were to understand the rationale behind the practises and try to understand how these are manifested in other religions, we often find that there are many similarities. and often, we find that there are more similarities than we know and from here we can celebrate our similarities, learn to respect the differences and co-exist peacefully.

what do you think?

95% done house

with my sofa and dining set finally delivered today, my house is almost done. what's left are the paintings that i need to get for the living room. here's a peek at my living room & the dining corner!

:-)

ps: the painting of the flowers has been hung for this photograph only. it has yet to be framed up!

冬至 (dōngzhì) vs yin & yang

found this very interesting website that discusses about the concepts of yin & yang and the summer/winter solstice. and for the very first time, i get to see a physical manifestation of the yin & yang cycle in the sun's movement around the earth! and it even gave an explanation on how it is derived based on the sun cycle! take a look! i'm simply blown away by the complex thoughts of the ancient chinese!

wow!

冬至 (dōngzhì) 2008

this sunday is 冬至 (dōngzhì or the winter solstice festival). i'll will be heading to the columbarium to pay respects to my dad. it will be the first 冬至 (dōngzhì) after his demise in aug and my mum has asked me to prepare tāng yuán (see picture) for him, as per what i would do every year... and i will be cooking my dad's favourite - hokkien-baba-style "tāng yuán cooked in ginger-flavoured coconut sugar soup"! and as usual, my tang yuan will come in white and pink! so exciting!

:-)

picture from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/tangyuan

furniture

my new furnitures are finally coming tomorrow!

hurray!

success story?...

will you ever claim your life is a success story?

i am asking cos recently, as i was surfing and searching the net, my curiosity about some people who had crossed my path sometime back led me to a blog. it is a blog of a friend of mine, or more correctly, the husband of a friend of mine...

and as i read, i felt rather uncomfortable. it was his tone and the words he used. you see, in the blog he shared that he had a rather unpleasant childhood. and he went on to talk about his education, how he became an engineer, got married and became a father of 2. he eventually went into teaching, and then got himself a diploma, and later a degree. now he teaches at a school... all these sounded rather `normal', but what i felt uncomfortable was his tone and how he would often refer to himself as - amongst a few other descriptors - a late bloomer, a success story... he tone also came across as rather "braggish"... and the more i read, the more uncomfortable i felt.

personally, using such words to describe oneself sounds kinda weird to me. or it is just me, for i am not very comfortable blowing my own successes (hmmm, i can't even really pinpoint what is success frankly. if it is about achievements in my education, i would rather refer to them as milestones, but i wouldn't call them my successes) publicly, much less, in my own blog.

any thoughts?

excited

had a little networking lunch with a ceo this afternoon. a meeting fixed by an ex-student of mine. he seemed keen to have me as part of his team. this kinda meeting can make one feel so much energized all of a sudden! for now, i hope to be able to find out more about the opportunities and he has asked his hr director to get in touch with me!

it's quite exciting! to my ex-student who made the link-up, he may not know it, but this is perhaps one of the best birthday present he has given to me unknowingly!

:-)

busy birthday

it's late afternoon and i am already tired... went for my physio this morning, met a ceo for a networking lunch, collected my tailored working pants from a tailor, collected my working suit and pants from another tailor, and now i am home early to bring my dog for her evening pee before heading out for dinner with boon and family... pant pant pant...

and it's been an interesting day. well, hate to admit this, but somehow, it made me feel rather good with the almost consistent flow of smses, facebook wall, emails and even an e-birthday card wishing me happy birthday. started since last nite... bee bee, willie (yes, the willie), roger aka ah girl, bryan, & derek my buddies-at-arms, charles my ex-student, james my ex, ps the tiger, kok, lay pheng & justin aka germs my classmates, guan my good friend, collin, kenerf, weetz & colin, sha sha, stanley aka scern, aziz, amos aka philip, cookiben aka cookie monster, edwin, damien, schneider, francis aka ryan, thomas aka the train, kev aka pencilcase, mei yee, joe chin, gilbert & lawrence my colleagues, pratima & frederick my nie classmates, ice cream james, charmaine, ep aka zeph chukz, kl & dan aka wonder woman, wmc, dennis the slut, dorine my insurance agent, my cousin & his partner, my 2nd sister and so on. even on fridae - people whom i don't even know! thank you thank you all so much... your wishes made me feel so warm :-)

and the most significant of all was the call i got early this morning. it was from my mum. my phone was on silent and i only noted the flashing of the light... there was already 4 missed call and when i answered, she wished me happy birthday! so nice! such a nice way to wake up in the morning!

:-)

bd eve

two more hours and i turn 42. bds are no longer any big deal to me. not even significant. think it's an age thing. anyway, just had a simple chicken rice dinner with bee. and i think i'll sleep early tonite. gonna be a long day tomorrow... morning physio, working/ networking lunch, collection of working suits from a tailor, collection of working pants from another tailor, dinner with boon and family...

sighs... just listing them out is enough to make me tired...

yawns...

car servicing

finally completed my car servicing. and as usual, the service attendant would exclaimed that my mileage is "wah! so high"... and of cos, i will routinely go "oh, i live in changi and work in tuas". sighs... sometimes, i find that i can repeat some things over and over again to different people. life can sometime be so bloody routine isn't it?
with the servicing finally done, i am ready to do my long drive to cameron highlands with my bee and schneider next week! oh, i think i better check with schneider on the hotel booking... he called and told me the hotels have all been fully booked!

:-)

renovation completed

my contractor called me up and tell me he'll collect the remaining payment tomorrow... and thinking it's saturday, i told him to come after 10am cos i'll be going marketing... hahaha! such a boo-boo for me! anyway, will leave it as it is, think bee bee can pass him the cheque in my absence. for a while, i forgot i have made a car servicing appointment at the kia servicing center at 7.30am!
anyway, the whole renovation works had finally completed. been an eventful week! from applying permit, clearing and varnishing the rooms, to painting the whole house and polishing the marble flooring, it's been one good (and very tiring) experience after another! of course apart from having interesting contractors and listening to their rantings, this whole process also gave me time to reflect on the years i'd stayed in this house, the time spent here and the different people (and even my dog) that have stayed; and the few that have left. and with each improvement done, physical traces left behind by these residents were slowly and surely removed. but what will forever be remembered are the fond memories of them... james, my mum, my dad, sapphie... and for that matter even bee bee - for he played a key role in this house renovation!

the result of this whole effort is something that looks almost brand new. and yes, it also tells me that it is time to look forward and charge ahead again!

:-)

polished!

today is the last day of my renovation and it's floor polishing day! after 5hours of wet grinding, the floor looked so so so beautiful! i even felt guilty stepping on it! and well, sapphie had her issues too! she tried walking around the newly polished floor and slipped a couple of times! so funny! interestingly, while the treatment and varnishing rooms saw the removal of marks created by james and my parents, the key thing that was removed as a result of the floor polishing was scratches as well as the patches of vomit/ pee stains left by sapphie over the years! these were stains that i have so so resigned myself to following sapphie's entry into the family in 2000.

anyway, i am so glad the whole renovation works was so smooth and the results is just fantastic! the floor now looks and feels like when i first took over the house in 1998!

:-)

death n accident

within an hour, two unfortunate incidents happened...

• i received an sms from one of my ex-student telling me that another ex-student from his cohort has just died. rather sad to receive such a message cos i had known this person and he is still so young. i found out subsequently that he was diagnosed with advanced stage cancer a couple of months back and passed away this evening. sighs. may he rest in peace.

that sms reached me just as i was about to sent bee bee home. and on my way home...

• as i was about to turn into the road leading to my condo from the main road, i noted 3 overturned bicycles in the middle of the road. by the side of one of the bicycles, a guy was kneeling and holding onto a girl. another guy was standing a couple of meters away trying to signal traffic away. i immediately made my turn, stopped my car by the road, and rushed to the girl. she was semi-conscious. her face was pale and her eyes were half-opened. there was a lot of blood on her neck. the guy seemed to be in a state of shock and didn't know what to do. the other guy was frantically trying to describe his location to someone. together with the guy, we carried the girl to the side of the road. once done, i removed all the bicycles to the pavement. as it was drizzling, i took out an umbrella from my car and passed it to the guy supporting the girl. i lifted her hair and noted that her ear-ring had broken off and that the blood had flowed from around that region. spoke to the girl and by the time, she was able to talk. this gave me the assurance that she was ok, at least for the moment. after confirming with the guy (on the phone) that he had called the ambulance, i decided to leave them there. the hospital is 5 minutes away and the ambulance should arrive in less than 5 minutes (judging from my experience with my dad). think the girl should be fine.

eventful last 2-hr of the evening.

responsible posting

once every so often, i would go into blowing wind gay forum to follow the threads. and often, i would read rather rude comments and postings that sometimes make me wonder why there are such people around, for what purpose do they make such postings and what they hope to achieve with it. personally for me, i would want to call myself a responsible person as far as posting my comments are concerned. i do acknowledge that at times, i do get angry and agitated. during such occasions, i would take a deep breathe, count to 10, re-read my posting before i click "post". anyway, someone just challenged me to apologize to another person for misquoting him in the blowing wind gay forum... read on.

recent days, i started following the serial "little nonya". and being half baba (peranakan), i was able to identify with the culture and the scenes i see in the serial. and so, when someone started a thread called "little nonya" in blowing wind gay forum, i immediately clicked to read the discussions... i felt uncomfortable by a guy called "naughty historian" (more accurately, i was rather disgusted) who posted quite a bit rather hostile sounding things about babas and nonyas. he even referred to peranakans as "chap cheng" (hokkien for bastard). and i could see a couple of persons who felt offended by his comments. and, as a proud half-baba, i also responded and tried to correct his facts - point by point.

today, when i revisited the forum, someone had made a posting and pointed out that i had misread "naughty historian"'s post. this person sounded angry and went on to say that if i were gentleman enough, i should apologize to "naughty historian". he sounded rather hostile i must say (this was his posting). well, i went back to my post to verify his statement and true enough, i had missed out one word "non". i decided that i should withdrew my comments but to ensure the thread is coherent, i could not delete away my post, so i added an afternote against my post stating my regrets for misreading "naughty historian"'s post.

nonetheless, i did not think i need to apologize for i had not sounded offensive. if anything, i thought "naughty historian" should apologize instead. anyway, i made my point and suggested for him to do so (my reply). let's see if he apologize. the ball is in his court.

that's what i call "responsible posting".

ps: i suspect the person who responded today is naughty historian himself! :-)

facial wash

my mouth tastes of facial wash now!!!

woke up earlier, was talking to bee and without realizing it, squeezed my facial wash onto my toothbrush!

stupid me!

hahaha!

:-)

my estate

found this very interesting site that is similar to google earth except that it captures a lot a lot more details about buildings and places in singapore and malaysia! i was even able to find my own estate here! take a look! the location of the cross marks the location of my unit in that block! and oh, i have also hyperlinked the picture to the site so you can navigate around by yourself! enjoy!

rantings of contractors

not that i am eavesdropping, but it was simply impossible not to catch some of the conversations of the two contractors painting my house. spoken in singaporean hokkien (which is basically hokkien with a splatter of malay terms), they generally revolved around money issues. the following is a snippet of it:

painter a (half shouting): sin kah poh boh lui mana eh sai! (singapore no money how to survive!)

painter b: hhhaaiyah... part kok boh lui eh sai! sin kah poh boh lui, si mi ma si beh sai! (in other countries, no money can still survive, in singapore, with no money, everything also cannot!)

painter a: aiyahhhhh... sin kah poh boh lui ai chua bor ma si kang kor! (in singapore, without cash it is difficult even to get a wife!)

and they went on and on and on about money, or rather, the lack of it and the cost of living in singapore, about bringing up their children, about their lives... at times, it got so heated up, they sounded like they were fighting! but of course, i know they were not. it's almost like two brother talking and bitching on and on and on.

one thing struck me as i listened to their conversation - the topics and the content of their conversation revolved around very mundane issues. very bread and butter. and it also struck me how they have been caught in a very tight system yet able to accept and make the best out of it. rather naturally, i was able to make quick comparisons between their lives and mine and it made me realize how luxurious (comparitively) i have been living my life for the past years! guessed perhaps i've been caught in life's materials that i often fail to see and appreciate the fact that there are many people who could barely/ just makes ends meet or are living simpler lives. and often, i would bitch about how little i have, worrying about unnecessary issues - while many people out there could not even experience the kind of life i currently have.

contractors

the two contractors that came to treat and varnish my parquet floor were from malaysia. it was so obvious from their malaysia-accented mandarin. and it was awkward for me when they addressed me as "wu1-zhu3" (owner of the house). and after the 1-day experience with the varnishing work, it came as no surprise to note that they also look like inhalant addicts - very thin (almost anorexic), very pale, long ruffled hair... frankly, i felt rather uncomfortable to have them walk in and out of the house. they looked like they could hold me hostage anytime! luckily i had sapphie my dog with me... erm... not that she could do anything la! haha!

as for the two guys painting the house, they were obviously singaporeans. both looked very beng but very very nice chatty people. physically, one of them was very jock. 45yrs old and had tinted hair. the other one was more uncle-like, also in his 40s. both spoke with me in mandarin and hokkien. and one thing very singaporean came out - our common national service (ns) background. it was interesting how we clicked once we spoke of ns. they would go on and on about how they were considered hokkien peng (slang for "soldiers with little/ no formal education. usually perceived as uncouth in their behaviour") and the difficult times they went through during their ns days! guess this is something that binds all singaporeans regardless of social status. and of cos, one thing they said that made them my friend instantly - "oh, you looked so young, no more than 35 yrs old"... heh heh... of cos i quickly added - "constant exercise certainly does wonders" - to which they quickly agreed! damned it! saying the right words to me (at anytime) will make you my friend instantly! (i am such a slut! ha ha!) of cos, when i related this to my bee bee, his eyes rolled so hard it almost dropped off his eye socket! well.. for the record, both of them are straight. the jock one was beaming with pride when he spoke of his 6-month old daughter and he went on and on about how cute she was...

oh, even as i type this post, the two of them are chatting about life and their friends. and typical of two bengs chatting, they sound like they are fighting. all the expletives, all the crude-sounding hokkien terms... well, crude, yet in a way, endearing... very hokkien, very singaporean. very kah-kee lang (of the same kind/ of the same clan).

heh heh...

new lights?

was thinking if i should also take the opportunity to change my house lights! since the house is also under renovation, i thought... why not? it would be a nice touch too! so exciting! think i'll go light-shopping this evening!

:-)

painting

the paint works starts today and will last till tomorrow. today, they will cover both the bedroom and the guest room. and tomorrow, they will cover the corridor, living room and the utility room.

as of now, they have painted the ceiling and applied the base coat of paint onto the walls. later this afternoon, they will paint at least two layers of paint onto the walls. i have chosen bluebell white for the room. basically it is white with a little hint of blue/green. certainly gives a breathe of freshness to the rooms. so far, with only an initial layer, it already looks gorgeous!

for the living room, i have chosen lily white for 3 of the 4 faces of the walls (right). basically it is white with a hint of yellowish earthy tones. think this colour meets the overall intent of making the living room bright yet calm. also, from my limited knowledge in feng shui, i should avoid green / blue tones as they clash with my fire elements. so an earthy tone should compliment with my fire elements very well.

for the main face, i have chose ivory (left). a shade darker than the lily white, yet not to the point as to darken the room. looking at the outcome, i could have chosen something darker. then again, it doesn't matter! what's more important is that the living room looks bright and larger!

hurray!

:-)

look at an oblique angle and you should be able to see the colour tone.

dogs

very heartwarming. and very touching. bless the dogs.

erasing marks

with the treatment, all dents, kinks, marks on the parquet floor have also been removed. some of these marks bore specific memories of my not too distant past. the removal of these marks therefore also marked the permanent removal of some of the physical traces of these memories. the following are just some of these `significant' marks

• the dents created when james (my ex) dropped his dumb-bells years ago. he used to do weights-training in the room and often, he would drop the dumb-bells onto the parquet floor thus causing a few dents here and there. and of cos i would chide him for not giving some considerations to the soft parquet flooring. sometimes, i felt he was not too bothered about the house becos he was not the owner.

• the outline of the bed and shelves in my parents room. they marked the very locations where my parents had slept and where they had fallen many a times. interestingly, the marks left behind by the leg of my dad's bed was a blur patch. this was becos my dad, being huge and fat, would drop himself and his whole weight onto the bed. and in doing so, the force created would push the bed a few inches thus creating a scratch mark on the floor. i would, however, push it back into position every so often when i clean the room. the process would be repeated again and again. in time to come, a blur patch was created.

• the qing chao you patch beside my bed. it was a mark left behind when the half-closed bottle of qing chao you dropped onto the floor without me realizing it. and over time, the ointment flowed out and scarred the floor.
  

now, the floor is totally clean and shining - just like the way it looked 12 over years ago. for tonite, i will not be able to set-up my bed as yet and will only sleep with the mattress on the floor. looking at the empty room with just a mattress, i cannot but recall the early days when amos and i would spent our weekend evenings. that was early 99 before i got to know james. those were some of my earliest memories of this place.

:-)

culling

hong kong has reported a new case of bird flu and has commenced chicken culling again. sighs... i know it's weird to a lot of people, but i always feel for the chicken when such killings occur. they are victims of the clash between human and nature. and naturally, human will again be on the upper hand. poor chickens.

sighs.

photo from http://www.channelnewsasia.com

varnished

six and a half hours into the job and the parquet floor treatment and varnishing has been completed! the whole house smells of thinner/ varnish now! if this goes on for a couple of days, i'll probably end up becoming an inhalant addict! i've also been advised not to step onto the newly varnished floor at least until 9-10pm this evening! aiyoh! but just looking at what i can see as of now, i am rather happy with the product! (my flooring has similar patterns and colour tones as shown in picture)

luckily there is a toilet in the utility room, else i would have to go to the estate swimming pool to pee!

:-)

picture from http://www.lartisandefamille.com

about 2008

i am starting to think about what adjective/ phrase i can use to describe 2008. and the following are some possibilities:

• year of renewal
• a defining year
• a tumultuous year
• a bad year
• a difficult year

am still thinking and hopefully in two weeks' time, i can find one that is appropriate when i start to pen down my annual reflections. hopefully, it can be something that can succinctly capture this year and to also allow a certain flow from previous year's descriptors (2007 - year of foundation laying, 2006 - year of recovery & growth and 2005 - a year of change). as of now, i am more inclined to use either "year of renewal" or "a difficult year". let's wait and see... will continue to think about it!

:-)

renovation starts!

hurray! my house renovation has started!

it has been less than 2 hours and the parquet flooring looks brand new! well... actually, what the guy has done was to do the treatment - and the so-called treatment was nothing but sheer grinding of the flooring to remove the old varnish and grind off the surface layer of the parquet tiles. what is left is a whole floor of brand new looking parquet! he has yet to do the areas nearer to the skirting and the skirting itself, but already the floor looks good!

looking forward to the finished product :-)

oh... the contractor manager came this morning and asked if i had applied for a renovation permit. well, i had not. and so i made my way to the condo office and was told that i needed 7-days for the permit to be approved. heh heh... told the manager i had started work on my room flooring. he has no choice but to inform me (rather unhappily) that he will try to get the permit approved in 3days and that should at least cover the grinding of my living room floor... and he went on about the need to follow condo laws and so on and so forth... anyway, i couldn't be bothered abt him... he's always been an attitude problem chap.

heh heh...

cleared room

have been spending the last couple of hours clearing my rooms of things. this is to prepare them for the treatment and polishing of the parquet flooring and repainting of the rooms. hmmm, come to think of it, actually, it is the repainting on my guest room. for my own room, it has always been white - untouched since the day i took over the house 12 yrs 3 months ago!

now, other than my computer table and my bed, both my room and my guest room have been totally cleared of stuffs. tomorrow the contractor's gonna come and do up the rooms. they will probably take 2 days for the rooms before moving on to do up the living room!

somehow, dismantling things also has a certain nostalgic/ sentimental effect on me. for example, as i dismantle the shelves on my wall, i cannot help but think of the days when i had just moved in and how i had spent my days shopping around so that i could install things myself. the shelves, the curtain railings, the curtains and so on. and to a certain extent, i was also reminded of some of the characters in my life over the last 12 years plus. also, as i clear my guest room, dismantling my parent's bed brought back memories of my dad, and my mum. apparently, due to my dad's huge size and heavy weight, the bed frame had been badly bended! it has been 4 months exactly since my dad passed away and that my mum had moved out. now, their mattresses, pillows, bolsters and blankets now carry a certain stale smell... this despite me making the effort to wash them and sun them regularly. it is so true that time really cleans away all physical traces of a person/s.

sighs.

chinese house

this evening, as i describe to lay pheng how i would be doing up my house, it struck me how i had, without planning for it, decorated my house in a rather contemporary chinese manner.

the tang period horse figurine, the crystal piglet, the buddha statuette, the chinese runner... these are things that i currently have on display in my living room. with my new chinese marble dining set coming in and if i now replace the current abstract poster on my living room with a chinese painting, it would certainly complete the whole chinese look! never really thought of it that way nor did i deliberately plan for it. but somehow, everything just fit in so nicely! it's funny how i sometimes surprise myself!

:-)

haircut

somehow long hair (ok, not that long, but to me, long enough!) makes me very irritable... and coupled with the flu-ish feeling, it can really make me crazy! so, today, i decided to go for a hair cut! and i got it cut real short! ok, not botak-short (crew-cut), but short enough such that i cannot grab it with my fingers! and hey presto! i am now feeling much better! seemed like my sickness is going and my mood is greatly greatly lifted! hurray!

:-)

cameron highlands

decided to go for a short getaway to cameron highlands in late dec 08 with schneider. need the break before the crazy work year starts again. it'll be our (bee and i) first trip there. looking forward to it!

:-)

delayed

went to select the colours for my house this morning and was told that the renovation will only complete by the 15 dec instead of 13 dec as i had planned. was rather upset about it initially. felt like i had been taken for a ride... especially when i decided on this contractor after he indicated he was able to complete everything by the 13 dec. then again, after cooling down and thinking about it, it might just be a good thing not to rush through such things. there was really no urgency to finish the works by 13 dec in the first place. so, it's better to do it slow and well than to have something rushed through and end up getting the work done in a slip shot manner.

and for now, will have to delay the delivery of my furniture for a couple of days...

bd party

received an sms from willie inviting me to his `thanks for being a friend' birthday party at play (one of singapore's leading gay bar). and much as i would love to, i told myself that it is perhaps better to give it a miss... still need to observe my commitments to my office not to visit any gay places. so for now, i do give him my best wishes of health and happiness (then again, i am sure i will not be missed... he has so many friends... heh heh...)

from what i know, since leaving the organisation, willie is a much happier person. and i am truly happy for him. staying in the organisation would have stifled him. he has the potential for much greater things. this coming year will be a challenging one for all of us, but for willie, i am ever so confident he will be able to ride through the rough times unscathed. way to go, willie!

for me, i shall abide my time. it, too, will come.

jul 09.

and to my dear friend willie, we may not contact each other nor meet often, but i can certainly say - you are often thought of! happy birthday!

sick leave

finally decided to see the doctor...

was given 2 days sick leave to rest at home.

cough cough... sniff sniff...

aimless

do you ever get into a state sometime or other where you ask yourself where you are heading in life? i do. that is perhaps the kinda mood i get into when my college goes into the year end leave clearing lull period. yes, there are still arrows and there are still work to be done. but somehow, i cannot but feel rather aimless. and naturally, this kinda thoughts about work will naturally extend to life in general... what am i heading towards? what or who am i living for? what can i do next? what should i do now to get what i want next? questions aplenty... yes, yes... the answer is perhaps to chart my life out systematically and work towards the goal/s... but perhaps, to me at this moment, it is easier said than done... somehow, the motivation is just not there. laziness? procrastination? uncertainty? whatever...

just feeling so blah...

aimless...

do you ever feel this way?

gay flight attendant

read this in blowing wind gay forum and had a good laugh. so thought i'd post it here to too:

my flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

as the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us "captain marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super."

on his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn't moved a muscle. "perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but i asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."

she calmly turned her head and said, "in my country, i am called a princess and i take orders from no one."

to which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "well, sweet-cheeks, in my country i'm called a queen, so i outrank you. tray up, bitch."

:-)

murphy strikes

murphy struck many times on saturday evening. you see, it's been a long while since i went for a movie with bee bee. and so, on saturday, we decided to watch bolt. did an internet booking at 7pm for a 8.40pm show, called him and arranged to meet him at vivocity for dinner at 8pm before the movie.

the drive to vivocity was a non-event actually... until i reached the telok blangah exit. it was 7.45pm when i cleared the exit. and that was when i came faced with a huge traffic jam. apparently, the whole world seemed to be heading to vivocity! (now, what recession are we talking about rite?) i got stuck in it for about 15min. and looking at the superbly long queue for the vivocity car park, i decided to give it a miss and headed straight to the harbour front's multi-storey carpark. so i headed straight and when i turned into harbour front drive... i got caught in a second jam. this time round, for whatever reasons, all the vehicles did not move... and it took another half hour before i cleared the jam and found myself a car park lot. it was already 8.30pm. by this time, bee bee had already got into the restaurant and ordered his food. he had even brought a friend along...

there was no time for dinner, i ran to the ticket counter to get the ticket. the show was supposed to be at 8.40pm. when i finally reached the counter, there was a queue for the ticket and i had to waste another 10min queuing. when my turn came, i gave my movie booking number. the guy keyed in the number in the system and told me that they do not have my records... frustrating! he went into his office, did some further checks and emerged, telling me that i have booked my tickets for the gv grand 9.10pm movie instead... shit! no time. even if i were to fly there, i'll still be late! did some negotiation with the counter guy before he agreed to change to ticket for me... after some ding donging, i managed to get the 9.30pm gv vivo tickets... by the time everything was settled, it was already close to 9pm.

but well, in the end, i managed to meet bee bee and his friend for dinner (although it was a very rush dinner) and successfully caught the show...

:-)

hari raya haji

i wish all my muslim friends,

selamat hari raya aidil adha!

house reno

every year, when it comes to the chinese new year period, i would regret not polishing my granite floor. it's been 12 years since i first moved in and i have not polished my floor at all! also, i would often feel shy to invite my friends over to my place cos my furniture is not too presentable (to me at least, altho bee bee says it's ok) - my sofa is dirty, old and torn, my dining table is actually the study table purchased for james (my ex) some 5 years back, the dining chairs are made of pine wood and all bear sapphie's teeth marks - marks made when she was still weaning her milk teeth some 9 years back...

so, after months of looking around, i finally placed a booking for some new furniture in two months ago (i bought a very nice 3 seater sofa and a set of marble dining table and chairs). these will arrive on 13 dec - less than a week's time.

and in this short time, the contractor will also polish the granite flooring, varnish the parquet in the house and to give the house a new coat of paint! it will cost me a total of 3k to do all these stuff! but considering the 12 years of wear and tear, 3k is rather worth it! this coming week will be a rather interesting but hectic one. contractors, clearing of old furniture, packing and unpacking, cleaning, and so on! but i look forward to it!

pretty exciting!

:-)

faster

i picked kok up two days ago to attend the 2008 female 50 gorgeous people event at zouk. it was about 7pm. and there was a huge jam on the pan island expressway (pie). it was, of cos, a frustrating drive considering i don't usually take this highway at this time of the day! but to kok, it was nothing unusual as he drives to town for his weekly tennis game at this time every friday. so, he was able to guide me and tell me when to change to what lane to beat the jam... and one pattern emerges - if you travel in the inner-most lane (lane 4) at specific stretches of the highway, chances are that you will be able to save easily 15-20min off the time needed to get to city. and the reasons are very simple

• cause of jam - typical kiasu behaviour of singaporean drivers... most drivers, once they enter the highway, would filter to the outermost lane thinking that it will be fastest. as a result, all lanes (less the innermost lane) would be jammed up or slow.

• road design - one word - terrible. most expressway (including pie), has a total of 4 lanes. for flyovers, most has 3 lanes, and the innermost lane (lane 4) is to allow cars to exit. so naturally, all drivers, afraid that they would be stuck in lane 4 (and as a result, forced out of the highway), would try to squeeze into lanes 1-3 as soon as they enter the expressway thereby leaving lane 4 with relatively less vehicles.

• opportunities - jams occur during peak hours, peak hour traffic include lots of buses sending employees or students home. and buses usually use lane 3 and they tend to pick up slower once they stop (in a jam). this allows cars in lane 4 to easily chuck in into lane 3 when the opportune is right.

so, often, one would see seasoned drivers, switch to lane 4 immediately after a flyover, pick up speed, chuck into lane 3 at the right time in front of buses just before a flyover, cross the flyover, cut back into lane 4, speed up, chuck into lane 3 again before the next flyover...

learned a new tactic!

:-)

of hitler & erps

no, i do not understand what the hell the characters are talking about. all i understand is that it depicts hitler at the last moments of his war. but reading the sub-titles and relating to the sentiments that many singaporeans feel about the sudden blooming of electronic road pricing (erp) gantries in the city, i cannot but laugh out loud as i go along!

enjoy!

:-)

sicko

i really dislike the going-to-fall-sick-yet-not-very-sick feeling. been having this sore throaty, semi-feverish, lethargic condition, slight cough, frequent sneezing and terrible body aches for a couple of days... yet technically, i am not fully sick yet. as always, this means a huge flu is coming.

been downing loads of water, liang teh (cooling herbal tea), and so on... still, i feel it coming...

haiz...

20!

when i posted this couple of days back, it didn't occur to me at all that my niece actually turned 20 today! omg! it seemed not so long ago when she was just borned and i had carried her and looked after her. those were the days when i still stay in marine parade! :-)

it's amazing how time just slipped by without you even realizing it!

i almost died

often i hear people saying how their life flashed pass them at certain critical moments such as when they were faced with life-threatening incidents. today, i can say that this cannot be true, and if it is, then the incident must have been a rather long one becos some incidents are so split second that there wasn't even enough time for such thoughts to occur.

you see, earlier as i was driving along the tampines expressway (tpe), something happened. i was cruising at about 80-90kmph along the expressway. there were lots of car and the car in front of me was less than 15m in front of me (or so it seemed). as i looked into the rear mirror, a car was speeding towards me. just as he was about to close in to a very uncomfortable distance behind me, an object appeared from the undercarriage of the car in front of me. the object flew towards me. directly in the direction of my face. it looked like it would smash point blank into my windscreen.

for that split second, many things happened concurrently. i could only interpret what the object was (circular, metallic, shining, about 1m in diameter, and it was spinning) and what my possible reactions could be (jam-break and let the car behind crash into me, swerve to the left and hit another car, swerve to the right and hit the road divider, or keep steady and absorb the brunt of the impact). in that milli-second, the object continued it's parabolic path - fast, furious; yet, in an eerie sense that i could not explain, slow. it seemed like time had slowed down suddenly just before impact. there was no time to let life flash before me. it was too short. i need to decide my course of action. a wrong decision would mean certain death. i held my steering wheel tight. if it were to crash into me, then i, and only i will die. so be it. it would have been a better end-state than if i were to kill someone if i had reacted any other way... the moments before impact seemed a blur.

and then suddenly, time stood still. luck was on my side. the object spinned such that it's face was on the same plane as the road surface. it must have been the air flow around a moving car, just millimeters before it hit my bonnet, the object took a sudden twist and it hit the road surface. my car ran over it. i heard it bounced before it hit my car belly. a loud crashing sound. my sense of hearing overpowered every other senses. the loud crash turned into a series of clangs and then everything went back to normal. in that split moment, all was quiet. everything around me was blank. next thing i knew, i was still driving. the car in front quickly filtered to the center lane. i overtook it. the lady driver turned her head and stared at me. she too had fear on her face. i was not sure what happened to the car behind. i maintained my driving speed.

and as i said, no, my life did not flash pass me. time just stood still. at one stage, my heart stopped momentarily, my blood stopped flowing. it was eerie. it felt longer than the actual time it lasted. i arrived home some 10 minutes later. still feeling traumatized. and there was cold perspiration.

even now, i still feel a little unsettled. i think i'll bring my dog for a walk.

uncle

was at ikea and chanced upon an ex-colleague, a lady in her early 40s. she was with was another lady... looked like she's in her mid-20s... called out to my colleague and she walked up to me. we exchanged some pleasantries and next thing i knew, the mid-20s lady called out "hello uncle". my colleague quickly introduced her as her daughter. secondary 4 (16 yr old). for that one single moment, i didn't know how to respond. the only words that i could utter was something like - oh, so big already huh?... in my mind, i was so so totally unprepared for someone who looked so `old' to address me as uncle. well... of cos, there had been cases of market aunties calling me uncle... but that was in a very different context...

hmmm... then again, my nieces are already close to 20 yrs old and they call me `uncle'... hmmm... whatever... some things one just cannot not avoid. anyway, back to my colleague. despite the split second shock, i quickly regain myself. we spoke for a quick moment more and she left...

:-)

lame joke

qn: why did the north korea president not appear in public?

ans: because he is kim jong ill.

lame... haha... send this sms to my nieces and a few friends. francis got it immediately. some replied in all honesty (er,.. becos he did not want to answer for his nuclear activities replied my niece). most did not but understood and laughed immediately when i send them the reply. and well... only one did not get it... yes, only one. heh heh... thomas oh thomas... 24 hrs later this evening, he sent me another sms... er, your sms yesterday, i am still not sure what that was all about... that was so so thomas :-)

heh heh...

mum's birthday

this morning, the doctor called me again and repeated what the previous doctor said yesterday... about blood test, etc. and i asked her if mum could be discharged today. from her tone, she seemed somewhat curious... and i explained that today is mum's birthday. the next thing i knew, she exclaimed... "oh, yes! oh yes! well, i'll talk to my boss and see if she can leave by this evening latest. oh, oh, i must go and wish her happy birthday!..." heh, i was rather tickled by her response.

this afternoon, i got a call from mum telling me that she had been cleared for discharged. went to the hospital and got her one of her favourite dessert - durian ice. she was asleep, tired from all the sleepless nights in this new ward. and she's totally knocked out after being given morphine by the nurses after a light lunch.

woke her up eventually and got her home. and cooked for her dinner. and bought some extra food as a treat for her birthday. nothing special, just simple daily fare - tau pok, bitter gourd, braised egg, minced meat, black pepper chicken, prawn fritters... and i must say her appetite was really very good! felt so good to be able to see her down one whole bowl of porridge and all the condiments i bought... simple pleasures, but to someone who had to observe her diet very carefully, this meal was one great highlight for her. it meant everything to her.

and me.

happy 76th birthday mum.

:-)

health check

got a call from sgh this morning. they will be sending mum for another round of blood checks today. this will be followed by assessment by the pain management center. if confirm that everything is ok (ie, blood count normal), she can be discharged from hospital.

either by tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

:-)

inventing the future

the best way to predict the future is to invent it...

a phrase i saw on a company van this morning. thought it is very meaningful and decide to post it here.

:-)