my dad was muttering to himself yesterday. he said something like - well, doctor said i have only 3months left. and his voice tapered off after that. it didn't sound like he was scared, just resigned. and i wondered how i would react if i were in his shoes.
today, as i thought about what he said, it reminded me of a few things that i have come across many times in my life. one sentence stood out and that is - birth, old age, sickness, death, these are natural cycles of life and is not avoidable. so, rather than try to avoid them, we should accept them and manage them as they come. this sentence comes from the buddhist readings that i had gathered from the temple. and it also reminded me of another book i read that discusses about how one should prepare for or help one's loved one prepare for death. it is a book about dying. the book also describes the death process and the emotions and thoughts that one would probably experience as he / she undergo the process of dying.
despite knowing the few things that the book suggests, it is really not easy to implement some of the things in real life. but i do find one suggestion useful and that is - talk about it. don't avoid it. talking about it helps to remove the fear of dying. give the dying the assurance that things are in control and that if he or she dies, things will be well. guess this emotional assurance is probably what my dad needs now. and perhaps this is why he had reminded my brother not to quarrel with me when he dies. also, talking about it helps the people around the dying manage the process. it gives them the emotional outlet and helps them cope with the eventual loss.
today, as i thought about what he said, it reminded me of a few things that i have come across many times in my life. one sentence stood out and that is - birth, old age, sickness, death, these are natural cycles of life and is not avoidable. so, rather than try to avoid them, we should accept them and manage them as they come. this sentence comes from the buddhist readings that i had gathered from the temple. and it also reminded me of another book i read that discusses about how one should prepare for or help one's loved one prepare for death. it is a book about dying. the book also describes the death process and the emotions and thoughts that one would probably experience as he / she undergo the process of dying.
despite knowing the few things that the book suggests, it is really not easy to implement some of the things in real life. but i do find one suggestion useful and that is - talk about it. don't avoid it. talking about it helps to remove the fear of dying. give the dying the assurance that things are in control and that if he or she dies, things will be well. guess this emotional assurance is probably what my dad needs now. and perhaps this is why he had reminded my brother not to quarrel with me when he dies. also, talking about it helps the people around the dying manage the process. it gives them the emotional outlet and helps them cope with the eventual loss.
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