Grateful - 27 Jan: Connections

Since many months ago, I would close my glass door, windows, my curtains etc when evenings come and I will blast my tv with songs or watch some senseless shows. This is to allow me to drown off the noises from the kids screaming at the playground down stairs. It can be a tad overwhelming. And this underpin what I want to reflect today as part of my gratitude journal. I cannot be enough grateful for the following:

• I am grateful for the presence of technology - Wi-Fi, TV, and so on - which has allowed me an escape, apart from the many day-to-day conveniences. On some days, it kept me company; on other days, it gave me the sanity I needed, especially when I really needed it. At times, it’s simply there as white noise in the background while I do my housework. Above all, the environment we live in today is vastly different from what I experienced growing up. Technology is just so pervasive in our lives now. I am grateful to be able to enjoy it and to experience these contrasts. Lest I take things for granted, I should savour and be grateful for what I have today, rather than focusing too much on what could go wrong - especially when it comes to technology.

• I am grateful for being able to speak multiple languages. It has allowed me to make connections easily across different cultures. Today, a technician came to my place to install a new router, and from his WhatsApp messages, I noticed that he couldn’t really converse in proper English. From speaking with him, I realised he is from Malaysia. He was pleasantly surprised that I could speak Malay, and it immediately made him feel much more comfortable. So, back to gratitude - I’m grateful to my mum for teaching me the language and for the multicultural environment I was brought up in. I am an enriched person simply by being born into this place, to my mum.

• This last paragraph is dedicated to someone I’ve known for more than a decade via Grindr (or maybe Jack’d). We met up for “fun” occasionally but didn’t keep much contact - it was, after all, a connection rooted in the pleasures of the flesh. We stopped communicating for most of my last relationship, although once in a while he would drop me a message to check in and see if I was doing okay. We re-established contact after my breakup and have been in touch more regularly, especially over the past couple of months. I could sense his care and concern for me, and I noticed how he made special efforts, such as arranging birthday dinners. I think it’s only appropriate to dedicate a paragraph to him. I admit that I miss him and his texts on days when he doesn’t check in. I am grateful that he is in my life.

So yes, today’s post is a tad long, but that’s only fitting, given the reflections that come with journaling.