weekend singlehood

weekend came. mentally, i had self-declared the relationship had ended and decided to give myself a chance at singlehood.

and i knew i would have a lot of time to myself, especially when my mum had gone to my brother's place to stay. i was angry that bee abandon me and left me alone despite knowing i would be free. but i was adamant that i did not want to feel lonely. to me, i told myself i had to reboot myself and to be comfortable to spend time alone. without him. i was so numbed and hardened by then. i was totally disillusioned with this relationship. i should learn to relieve myself of any dependence on others emotionally. and i should start to live positively. for myself. with this conviction, i took things in stride. i did not cry, i did not get moody, etc.

i spend the both saturday and sunday at my brother's place with my mum. but in the evenings, i headed out for some me-time. i decided not to meet up with any friends over the evenings as i didn't want to end up having to tell them sob stories. no, self-pity was the last thing i wanted, although i must frankly add that i was in a somewhat self-destructive yet self-liberating mood, i didn't know how to explain. will talk about it in another post.

anyway, on saturday night, i headed off for a movie in the evening. interstellar. it was kinda apt that i should watch this movie given that it was a movie that i had long wanted to watch but time and again, bee didn't want to (for whatever reasons) and we ended up with other shows. and if this marked the start of our separation, how appropriate right? i thought. but well, i erased that thought and simply went through the show. it turned out to be the best show i watched this year. magical. and after the movie, since i had the very rare time and opportunity to be single, alone, free and in town, might was well head out for some good fun. i wanted to head to the clubs but i had forgotten how to and there was no friends i could call to go with. also, clubs are for young boys, not uncles. haha. in the end, i went cruising. that's what all gaymen do when they have time right? but haha... turned out there were no one at the haunts. perhaps all have gone overseas for their year end break. but yeah...

i had a good weekend.

:-)