ass-u-me

making assumptions always make an ass out of u and me. and it is funny how many of us have this habit of doing so when we are exposed to a fact / occurrence. and without thinking, we make assumptions and draw wrong conclusions. and worst still, we create unnecessary misunderstandings and tensions in the process. here's some examples (facts are in blue and assumptions are highlighted in red)...

• due to paranoia, mum has this constant tension about me going out of the house. she believes i am meeting people to plan to harm her. and she would call me whenever she attends the elderly rehabilitation day care. and many a time, i'll miss her call as i did not hear the phone ring. and when i finally answered/ return her call, she would scream at me - where are you now? go out again is it!?!?!?!?! and when she returns, she would pull a long black face, and not talk to me.

• mum has this habit of giving sapphie food behind my back and i have asked her not to do so many a times. and recently, during over casual conversation, i mentioned that sapphie vomited and had diarrhea. immediately, she turned defensive and replied i did not give her anything to eat! (the assumption that i am blaming her is not verbalized here)

• we organize a gathering and send out an invite via whatsapp, facebook, etc... and after a couple of days, the responses from invitees were not very forthcoming, and we assumed that no one is interested and cancel gathering.

• one day, i decided to clean away all my facebook status updates and delete the photos in it. and next thing i know, i get an sms from a friend. he sounded superbly upset. his sms read to the following effect - why did you block me in facebook? what did i do to offend you? why must you do this to me? hmmm... worst case of assuming people are getting personal.

• i started exercising every evening since dec 12. and i would wash my pt attire daily after my exercise. sweaty clothes do not smell good when left in the room overnight. as for mum's and my other laundry, i do it twice a week when there is enough volume enough to use the washing machine. and one day, i found all of mum's laundry hung out to dry. i asked her why she did the laundry despite the fact that i had been the one doing it, and she said - nowadays you only wash your own clothes, so since you don't want to wash mine, i will do it myself...

there are just too many entries to this post. and my point is, when you hear something/ see something happen, do not make assumptions! if not sure of the reason/s, ask. talk. check. do anything to clarify but don't make assumptions and jump to conclusions! and interestingly, while it was not intended, it seemed like many of the examples and tensions are from mum... (and i wondered if this is how her generation conducted themselves).

haha!

picture from http://www.disputeresolutioncounsel.com/2011/05/have-you-checked-your-assumptions-lately/