bitchy me

it was the 7am, the morning after the long conversation. 

i had downloaded all my tensions, well almost all. i was still very unhappy that he was not willing to open up a lot of details about the people he went to bkk with other than they were his 3 closest colleagues, about how he did not consult me when he left etc... there were lots of questions left unanswered. but i told myself, the ball is in his court to be open about the people he interact with and i will see how open he is about sharing their details with me in the days to come.

i was about to leave for work when i saw a credit card on my living room table. it was a sub-card i got for him, a card that he had used consistently and on almost every month fail to pay me without me reminding him. it was extra painful for me this month cos he had promised to pay me but said he would do so last week as his expenses were tight. he did not but left for bkk. i could not reconcile how his expenses could be as tight as he claimed yet he could spend twice the amount he owed me by going to bkk at such short notice. ok, that was not the point. why did he leave the card behind?

i texted him. what was you meaning of this? i sounded hostile. i was not happy. when we got together,  i did 3 things to help him and as a symbol of our bond. shall not go into details of what these are except that they all involved monies and my sub-card is one of them. since then, he had killed one of these. i was not happy but accepted that he needed to learn how to better manage his funds. soon enough, he replied i need to manage my spending. no, this was not what i expect him to do. take it back unless you are telling me the relationship is off.

i went on to ask a lot of questions, questions that i wanted answers. my questions made him feel uncomfortable. yet i did not relent. he should have seen it coming from me. i was bitchy. i demanded answers. i wanted to also make him comfortable to open up. and he answered what i asked. added to that, i demanded that he remove his line picture. a picture he had put up on monday. he was smiling cheekily. i didn't like this picture. how could he be smiling cheekily at a time when there was so much tension. he did.

through the day, i observed his reactions and his attitudes to me. and by late afternoon, i asked him to meet me for dinner. i wanted to see if he has further excuses about work etc. he did not. we had a simple evening.