weird dreams

i have been having rather weird dreams lately. i realized that i have such dreams when i am stressed and when i don't feel settled, regardless of context, be it emotional, work, etc. here're 2 dreams that i remembered clearly... the first occurred on thursday night, and the second, this morning. here's the first dream on thursday night. 

• i fell asleep, and i dreamed that i had insomnia. yup, weird, but i felt so stressed up in my sleep becos i couldn't sleep in my dream (remember the show inception?). well, in my dream, i tossed and turned, and my sleep was so light that i went in and out of my sleep (in my dream) through the night. and next thing i knew, the sky had brightened and i jumped out of bed. the room was intensely lit as i walked to the window. at the window, i saw a pink sky, and i looked at the horizon and saw a huge pink sun. it was then that i woke up (the real one), my room was dark, and i automatically reached out to my iphone by me side and took a look at the clock. it was only 3am. i tossed and turned again, fell asleep and within (what felt like a few seconds), it was 6.30am. time to wake up...

and last night/ early this morning, i had a dream that had several different scenes within that dream.

• scene 1 - in the first scene, the context was a little vague. i think i was a teacher or facilitator of sorts (i seemed to be in the role i held before i left the military). amongst my peers and i, we were discussing whether we should wear our uniform or to don the pt kit. it was rather stressful cos there was no directions and we were left on our own (the stress was that a very important official event was about to begin and we were left alone). and as we discussed, the context of the scene changed. 

• scene 2 - there was an election going on amongst the student cohort at the student's hall next to where my colleagues and i were. there were a few names on the blackboard. the students were electing a leader (of the student council, i think). and 5-6 names were reflected on the blackboard, and my name was one of them (i had become a student!). my name was on the right-most corner of the blackboard. there was quite a bit of arguments over who should be elected and the student body couldn't agree on who the leader should be. eventually, they decided to put the names to a vote. after a few rounds of knock out voting, 2-3 names remain, my name was still there. and i was the hot favorite. i felt stressed by this cos i was not confident of the role. and added to that was the remnants of scene 1 - we were still wondering what to wear.

• scene 3 - the scene now changed to that where i was a hawker (hahaha!). and my peers were now owners of the different hawker stalls at an eatery. and they unanimously wanted me to be elected (from previous scene), to lead them. again, i felt very stressed cos i was not confident of assuming the leadership. and the stress from scene 1 and 2 was still there. 

• scene 4 - the scene changed again, the student's hall (where the election was held) has turned into a concert hall and there was a fashion show/ beauty contest going on. there was a muslim lady performing. she was wearing the muslim headgear (the tudung), but she was in a very skimpy shiny blue swimming costume... i felt very uncomfortable seeing her dressed like this. this is totally not in sync with what i had understood of the islamic faith... 

• the dream ended here.

am not one to believe in dreams, but from the patterns, i can only conclude that subconsciously, i feel very alone and that i have no support from anyone around me. and i am stressed by things that are happening around me. but in real life, is this really the case?

hmmm...