read willie's blog earlier and he reflected about turning 35 (he turned 35 yesterday)... and he shared how significant it was for him to be crossing the halfway mark. and as for me... well, i just turned 45 a couple of minutes ago. and by willie's projection of 70 as the end, i am well over the halfway mark! closer to the 3/4 mark! (actually i consider 65 to be my end point) hahaha... and reflecting, it seemed like i am able to see the forward journey much clearer than the last 45 years. afterall, 20 years is not too long a time. i am reminded of my reflections when my dad passed away, where i was able to see my past and sensed what was to come ahead. weird hor... well, at 45, really, everyday is the same. things have slowed down, i have mellowed, the fire is weaker, i drink coffee more than i drink liquor, i tend to want to pamper myself, i am even more reflective, i learn to take things slow, a lot slower, i am less impatient, i am more spiritual, i am more culturally aware, i am more rooted, i tend to resist change more...
in another words, i am 45 years young.
:-)
in another words, i am 45 years young.
:-)
3 comments:
Hey, Happy birthday!!! Hope everything will be fine for you, and wish you physically and mentally young as always!
Hi, Happy Birthday! I am a bit late, maybe more than a bit.
I am back home since 11 December. Have been trying to clear all the 126 boxes(!) and clean up the newly renovated and thus dusty and sandy flat.
I have been reading your posts. Felt quite sad for what you are been going through. Felt even sadder when you were thinking suicide.
I hope you don't go my brother's road of no return. He attempted a few times and like you, planned for it a long time before.
I don't know if his departure solved his problems or whether he is happier now, but it sure brought a lot of emotional pain, suffering and hardship to his family. He chose to do it when his son was about to take his O levels and he was also the first to discover his father was in trouble.
I hope you will be able to go to the source of your problems and solve them. Maybe people close to you can be of some help. Hopefully you will soon see light at the end of the dark tunnel. Please take care.
@sharks: thanks sharks!
@ladybird: thanks for the birthday wishes. nope you are not too late. and hey, it's good to know you are home! but i guess it will take some time to get use to your new home. some reconnection to the revamped environment. and no worries about the suicide thing. i decided to put in writing finally. been in my mind for many many years. and yes, recently had been very tough and difficult for me. and admittedly, death did cross my mind. but am ok now. so... yup, thanks for the encouragement.
:-)
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