wait uncle scold

was at the clinic this morning to see the doctor for my flu. and while waiting, there was this little girl with her grandma and domestic helper. the little girl was no more than 3-4 yrs old and was very cute. and she was certainly a very active little devil who would climb onto almost everything, and pull brochures from every possible place she could lay her hands on. and one thing i found very funny was that her grandma and domestic helper would use scare tactics to control her. and they repeatedly went

hey hey hey, cannot anyhow take har?! wait auntie scold.

the good-natured auntie sitting next to them played along and gave the girl a stern look while waving her index finger at her. this trick certainly worked for the girl quickly ran to the domestic helper and asked her to bao bao (carry) her. but once auntie looked away, the nonsense would start all over again. and they would use the `wait auntie scold' trick again. and this went on for a while. until auntie left the clinic.

and with no more auntie around, the girl started her nonsense again. all these while, i was observing with my face covered with a mask. i felt rather amused. and with no more aunties, i naturally became the object of the threat. and the grandma and domestic helper automatically went

hey hey hey, cannot anyhow take har?! wait uncle scold.

and sure enough, it worked! even with my mask on, the girl obeyed. and of cos, i played along and pointed my index finger. it was quite fun actually. and i thought - hmmm, usually, parents would use the auntie or uncle scolding trick or worst, the mata lee-arred liao (local lingo meaning - "police catch" literally or "be arrested by police") trick. and i pondered - well, isn't this a very asian behaviour? thus far, in all the asian countries i visit, i see similar tricks being used. does such a trick reflect a deeper fundamental confucius-influenced psyche of asians - that one needs to obey the authority? that in not obeying the authority, one would suffer some very bad consequences?

well, whatever the case may be, such tactics work right away. yes it did. however, i am not sure if the kids understood what the correct behaviour should be. and i also wondered if this is the best way in the longer run. my own take is that using fear and/ or rewards to get kids to behave may not necessarily be a good thing. it makes them act only if there is fear or for that matter, the desire to gain something. an extrinsically motivated act will not work in the longer term. instead, efforts should go into educating the kids on what the correct behaviour is and to understand the consequences if he/ she were to misbehave. this process would make the motivation to behave properly comes from his/ her within. and this could only be done by consistent reinforcing of values and exemplary behaviour by adults. such a method might be slower and require a lot more patience, but in the longer run, it will create a child that knows how to distinguish what is right and wrong and is more confident of the limits as he/ she explores his/ her surrounding.

hmmm, i think i've read too much into such mundane things again...

:-)