Cry

It's a little depressing to not be able to cry when you want to cry, to have a most hearty cry and let every thing pour out.

Goodbye Nana aka Sapphie

Reflective and somewhat emotional moment to release Nana aka Sapphie’s ashes into the sea today. Would have been her 19th birthday if she’s still around... for some reasons her ashes at the base of the urn were somewhat damp. Had some difficulties getting it out. Anyway, after releasing them into the waters off the her favourite spot at the beach, I also dropped the urn into the sea. It took awhile before it sank... 

Goodbye Nana. Go free.

Worst trip in my life...

The trip to KL over the last weekend was the worst overseas ever for me in my whole life. This trip was for me to affix the VEP RFID and for him to meet up with his bffs to celebrate one of their birthdays in Genting. Here's the details of the trip:

• Saturday. Drove in to affix the VEP RFID at 4am to avoid the public holiday jam. Appointment was at 10.30am, managed to get ahead of the queue and complete the process by about 10am. Reached KL late afternoon after stopping by Seremban for late lunch. Rested a while and headed out for a simple dinner with one of bff. Felt a little uneasy and light headed after dinner and decided to turn in early.

• Sunday. Woke up with the stomach churning and head feeling like it was gonna explode. Body felt warm. Fell in and out of consciousness through the whole morning cos I was too spent to get up. He got me some diarrhoea pills before leaving for Genting. I was left me alone in the hotel room. Started having diarrhoea and non-stop vomiting through the afternoon. In between bouts of diarrhoea and vomiting, I slipped in and out of consciousness. Simply too weak to get up and my head was too heavy to stand properly. Body was burning. For some moments, I wondered if I would die in my sleep (LOL). Couldn't eat anything through the day and had to force myself to drink. Told myself I cannot not replenish my fluid given all the purging. Felt a little better by evening time and dragged myself out of bed to get some food. Had not eaten anything and needed something light. Managed to eat 2 slices of watermelon and honeydew. Collapsed in bed by 8pm and slept until the next day. It was a badly disturbed sleep, waking up every hour or so.

• Monday. Woke up and headed down to eat something light. Couldn't eat after 2 mouthful cos my stomach started churning again. He's supposed to be back by 11am but texted me that he would be back by 12pm instead. Arranged for a late check out and walked about the mall. By now, he had texted to say he would be delayed further. He arrived close to 2pm and we started our drive back to JB. Halfway back to JB, we realised our passports were not with us... made some calls and decided to drive back to KL. I was still weak from the food poisoning and the emotions that erupted after realising the loss didn't help. Got the documentations done before making our way to JB. Had given up hope of retrieving the lost passports. Arrived JB close to midnight.

• Tuesday. We splitted ways to make our respective documentations. I got my documents from the Consulate General Office by late morning. He was told to go to the Immigration HQ to process his passport replacement. Halfway through at about 2pm, the hotel called and told him that they had found his passport. We decided to head back to KL and it was another 5 hours drive. Got the passports and I insisted on checking into the hotel for the night. I refused to drive back to JB that evening. 

• Wednesday. Left KL early to drive back to JB. The mindset was to simply get home as soon as possible. Regretfully, had to go through quite a bit of hassle with the Malaysian immigration staff before being allowed to head back to Singapore. Arrived back in Singapore close to 6pm.

Yup, so that was my last trip to Malaysia. In a span of a couple of days, I drove up to KL 3 times.  And it's not just the hassle of the movements, but also the food poisoning, the feeling of loss and being alone, the emotions, the tensions, and the less than friendly and inefficient public office staff. 

Glad I am home.

Losing my Passport

Here's my experiences after losing my passport during the trip to Malaysia last week... and this is a continuation of my previous post about the Malaysian public service. 

• He got a call from the hotel that they found the passport, just as he was queuing up and waiting for the Immigration Office to open. And it was thankfully so cos it was beginning to get stuffy standing outside the lift landing and everyone was getting a little impatient and agitated. We found your passport pouch underneath the blanket, the hotel staff said. hmmm, it was kinda weird cos they found our passport more than 24-hours after we checked out underneath the blanket... hmmm... anyway, we decided to drive up to KL again to collect the passports. It would be more important for him cos mine has already been terminated. We arrived in KL in the evening after some 4-plus hours drive, collected the passports and decided to check in for the night. 

• To be safe, we decided to call the immigration department to confirm if we need to cancel our earlier police report. No, came the answer. But to be sure, we were given another number to call, a number that was not attended and nobody answered. We gave up trying after some attempts. We drove back down to JB the next day (Wednesday), and at the customs, we were stopped and summoned to the office. Accordingly, my documents were verified ok and that I could go back to Singapore. But for him, the immigration officers said he had to make a police report to cancel his earlier police report (since he has found his passport). We obediently drove back into JB to look for a police station.

• Thankfully, there was a police post within 10min drive. When we arrived, the police officer said there was no requirement to make a report. After explaining that this was a requirement by the immigration officer at the customs checkpoint, he insisted there wasn't a need, nonetheless he re-drected us to another police station cos he has shut-down his system... so... we arrived at another police station and yet again was told there was no requirement to make a police report (to cancel the earlier police report). Yet again, we had to explain the need and grudgingly they eventually issue one that simply stated we want to cancel the report. 

• In our second attempt to clear the Malaysian customs, we were yet again stopped and summoned to the office. This time round, they said that although my documents were in order, I had to go to the Consular General Office of Singapore to get my found passport canceled before they could clear me. I was quite flustered by then. I called the Consular General's hotline and the staff assured me there was no need to. He asked to speak with the immigration officer and after some few minutes of conversation, I was cleared. He told me to call him back should they create any problems for me (how reassuring). We were eventually cleared to return to Singapore. I personally thought it was weird for a Malaysian immigration official to tell a Singaporean institution what to do... 

The experience at the Singapore customs was world of a different. 

• When we arrived at the customs, I handled over the documents and asked if my passport had been canceled and whether I can use the passport if it was still valid. The immigration officer smiled and said he will get his colleagues to confirm and to explain the process to me, should I need to replace my passport. I waited in my car and soon, 2 security personnel came. It was nice of them to clear the jam (which had build up by them) and escorted me as we made our way to the immigration office.

• At the office, I was greeted nicely by the immigration officers and ushered to a seat before they verified the validity of my passport. I was told the passport had been cancelled and that I should make a new one at the Immigration Office when I am free. With this, I was told I could proceed and make my way home. Simple, easy peesy. Efficient and pleasant experience, as always.

Anyway, my new passport will be ready by this coming Wednesday. Everything was processed and done at the Immigration HQ, all within half hour.  

M’sia Public Service... Sighs!

We were in KL over the weekend and lost our passports. I believe I had left them in the safe in the hotel but despite checking with the hotel several times, they claimed they couldn't find it. Frankly, whenever I lost anything in Malaysia, I have absolutely no hopes of getting them back... And emotions apart, our reactions to the loss was worlds apart. It's during such crisis (or perceived crisis) that you get to see a persons real character. But well, let's not go there... what I want to write here is the difference in the efficiencies of the Malaysian and Singaporean public offices in handling the public. Here's some observations...

• Went to the police post to make a report. Was told I needed to go to the Special Branch in person to report the loss and to be interviewed before a police report can be made. This was because Singaporean passports are in high demand in Malaysia and they needed to interview me to make sure I do not belong to any syndicate... hmmm... don’t understand the logic but well, what the heck. I’ll do what I need to do to get back home.

• The interview process was straight forward but imo, the questions asked were no different from when I made the police report after that. They could have just asked the police to forward the police report to them... I also don't like how the "investigation" was done - the questions asked were, imo, irrelevant. "How come your passports together in one bag?" "How come you are in the same hotel room?" "Are you both single?" ... and it's not what's asked but how it's asked that made the world of difference...

• Drove from KL to JB and made a report to the Singapore General Consulate. Apart from an (initially) rude security guard, I thought the experience was generally good. Was greeted professionally by the staff and they explained nicely to me how the loss will be managed. The process was quite a breeze - filled in a form, asked to give them 2 hours to verify details and to return to collect my Document of Identity (DOI). The DOI would allow me to return to Singapore to get my passport replaced. And the staff patiently explained which document is for what and for who... from the accent of it, the staff is definitely Malaysian. But the experience is different.

• As for his passport, being a Malaysian, he had to head to one particular office (UTC) to get a passport replacement. Google map says it's opened from 8am but when we reached there, we were told they open at 1pm. I supposed Google map is not totally accurate. He decided to head to another office some distance away, only to be told they cannot handle his case and that he needed to go to another office (Malaysian equivalent of Singapore's ICA HQ) as his passport is still valid. And when he reached there, he was told his ID photo is old and he needs to change his ID first before they can entertain his request of a passport replacement... Goodness knows what else he needs to do before he can get his passport replaced.

I may be Singaporean but I really do not think I am biased in my views. Apart from efficiencies (or lack of it), I think there are a lot to catch up for the Malaysian public service when it comes to simple courtesies while carrying out their professional duties.

Marry me off...

I was so surprised and honoured! I got a text last evening from this beautiful lady asking me to be the witness when she register her marriage with her long time partner in Jan 2020! Never ever imagined I will have such an opportunity!

2 months

I am at the coffee shop having my morning coffee and I want to blog. Yet, my mind is blank. There are a lot of things in my mind that I want to capture and much are all work related; and I really don't want to waste time writing about them. But in the spirit of capturing key moments, do allow me to share what I have been busy with of late at work:

• Completed a major activity for my workplace (I blogged this previously)
• Launched a major 2-month event (that is currently on-going)
• Organised a mega-roadshow across 2 different sites locally
• About to launch another major event mid-Oct (and we are all in the thick of things now)
• Counting down to conducting a global survey for the group end-Oct
• In the midst of planning a global summit that will be held end-Nov in the Philippines...

And on the social and personal fronts, I've been able to keep to my plans to travel at least once a month (with my recent trips to Jakarta, Penang and Johor Bahru), catch up with a couple of friends for meals, meeting my ex-boss for lunch, etc. On top of that, I have been busy counselling a friend who's been quarantined in the hospital for 2 months due to TB, and then faced some marital issues with her husband once she’s discharged, another who's depressed following his dad's demise and jobless, and another who decided to quit after his boss screamed at him. Gladly, things are panning out well for them. It should (hopefully) get better for all of them in the days ahead. 

All these left me quite drained (and possibly made worst by the many many negativity around the world - HK, toxic politics - both globally and at work, etc). But I am not complaining. Being dutifully employed and able to help people is a blessing. So... yeah, it's been a busy month or two for me. And looking ahead, it is less that 3 months before 2020. Scary how time flies. Seemed like not too long ago when we were busy preparing for the turn of the century and worrying about the Y2K virus.

Hang in there.

Beginning of the end?

Are we witnessing the beginning of the end for two most vocal, golden haired, self-centred egoistic politicians? i kinda miss the days when politics used to be very noble, somewhat altruistic, and politicians were charming, charismatic and influential.

Die! Die! Die!

I drove pass Mangala Vihara - a Buddhist temple, recently and saw a banner hung around the shrine. I couldn't make out what the banner was but kept wondering why it said "DIE, DIE, DIE" repeatedly. It was when I looked at it closer before I realised it was actually the Buddhist flag...

LOL... and with no disrespect, I wondered why I saw it as "DIE". Anyway, I came home and reflected and it struck me that I didn't know what the colours on the flag meant and I googled it. Here's the explanation behind it and here's a summary of it:

• Blue: The Spirit of Universal Compassion

• Yellow: The Middle Path

• Red: The Blessings of Practice

• White: The Purity of the Dhamma 

• Orange: The Wisdom of Buddha's teachings

• Sixth vertical band: Truth of Buddha's teachings

Interesting right?

Yes (wo)man

How do you manage a boss who’s a yes-person and will say yes to everything that the boss wants? And to make things worst, this boss is quite a hands off person and can only say yes yes yes. And then turn around and tasks the additional tasks to you...

For me, I am at a point where I have to draw a line and firmly say I cannot do and cannot deliver. No resources. Period. And I am also starting to say things like - if this goes on, I’m gonna to tender. Call it a threat I don’t care. But I have to draw a line. The bad habit of tasking everything to someone who can deliver and reports to a yes-person boss has to stop. 

And I think my boss got my message... but I’m sure the yes-man nature will continue...

Sighs!

What a week!

Just completed a super major event this week that involved ministers, senior officials from the union and many strategic partners of the company.

The events this week was a culmination of many months of planning. The many rehearsals, briefing decks for leaders, meetings with the different stakeholders, etc and the final execution of event went like clockwork.

Usually, when such events end, fhere'll be a sense of emptiness. But for me, there's no time to do so. We are now gearing up and counting down to an extended period of 2 months of non-stop events. Hopefully, my team don't get burned out...

:-)

Suka Tua (Like Mature/ Old)

These days I get “Hi”s and “Hello”s and taps from a lot of profiles with names such as “Suka Tua”, “Ilikemature”, “ilikesnr”, and with descriptors such as “I like daddies, white hair, big belly, old man, grandfathers, etc”. Wtf, I seriously don’t think I fit into some of the categories they mentioned. But what the heck... 

#agingisabitch 

Lol!

Hong Kong - sighs

Hong Kong is a place that I enjoy going cos it's orderly, the transport system is easy to navigate, the people are easy to get along with, and most important, it is a relatively safe place for asians. Not anymore. I have been following the developments rather closely when the protests first started, but I have stopped doing so cos I do not agree with them. 

And today, I read this headline - "Trump, make Hong Kong great again". I couldn't help but roll my eyes. I mean, seriously? Trump, to me, is only concerned about himself. His presidency has thus far been about his own ego and his own re-election. HK means nothing to him but a pawn to be used to co-erce China as part of his game to seek re-election. Whatever HK's fate is, Trump will spin the outcome to his favour. Liberate HK? Make HK great again? what nonsense!

Over the last couple of weeks, I texted a couple of HK friends and all of them expressed their disagreement about the protests and felt the protesters had gone a tat too far. But at the same time, they could empathise with them as many felt helpless by the soaring land prices, etc. So, what started off as an anti-extradition bill protest had morphed to one where people are using the protests to vent their anger at the local government and their failure to look after the good livelihood of the populace.

Anyway, this post is not meant to generate a political discussion and I will certainly not respond to anyone who tries to get me to do so. It is a post for me to capture my thoughts. Here're some of them:

• The 21st century belongs to China. This is a fact and everything I know in all the different spaces, point to this fact unfolding. So, if I were a Hongkie, I will happily embrace this fact and embrace myself as a Chinese HK. I might even ask why I have to wait for 2047... fact is - HK has a natural hinterland and wants to deny it. Singapore, in 1965, wants a hinterland, but was denied one... what irony.

• Democracy - do we even have an alignment in our thoughts about what democracy is? Looking at the protesters, many of them are in their late teens and early-20s and come across as pure naive (case in point is their cry for Trump to make HK great again, what rubbish). Many have not even seen the world nor understand the dynamics between countries. As such, much as I admire their idealism, I seriously think they fell short of understanding what's real. 

• Personally, I am all for rights and freedom of (anything), but I also believe strongly in being responsible. I will willingly forgo my rights if there is a larger good for the society, for the community, for the country. And in the context of China, I seriously do not think the country is ready for democracy as the US knows it. China has never in it's 5000-year history been governed in this manner and I do not see it change overnight. This brings me to the next point...

• Engage the political leadership and change the politics over time. Hong Kong already has so much freedom that the mainlanders do not enjoy, enjoy this freedom and navigate the space, instead of pushing for more too suddenly. Best case if you do so is to incur the wrath of China and China will simply let you run out of steam and sideline you into oblivion. Worst case is that China will roll their military and force things down.

I can only say this - people needs to cool down, and agree to talk. If they don't, and keep pushing, things will never end. And at this rate the so-called leaderless protesters are going, the only ones to suffer will be the Hongkies themselves.

Ok, just ranting to fill my weekend boredom. Gonna be a stressful week ahead. 

:-)

Of Chickens, Rabbits & Dragons

I was in Penang over the last weekend and came across this dim sum place that was decorated with lots of lanterns. I was simply wowed by them. 

When I was a kid, it was customary for my mum to buy mooncakes for my godmother, who, in return, would buy such lanterns for me. I particularly looked forward to such cellophane lanterns and I recalled vividly that I had different animals for different years. 

My favourite lanterns include those shaped and painted to look like chickens, rabbits or dragons. And guess what - much fun as I had walking around with candle-lit lanterns, the real fun actually lie in the fact that I get the chance to play with fire! And all the time, my fun will end when my lantern got burned.

Those were the good old days.

Finally cleared...

Fulfilled my resolution for the year finally. The last deduction of my housing loan was completed today after 3 months of application. So am officially free of housing loan! 32 years... or was it 33 years?

Well, what's important is that I'm done with housing loans!

:-)

Of Death Anniversary & Ghost Festival

The 7th month of the lunar calendar is the month of the Hungry Ghost Festival where Taoists believe that spirits of the underworld would be released to roam the living realm. As a Buddhist, I commemorate it as the month of filial piety and respect for our elders.

August is also the month of my dad's passing in 2008. Time flies, it's been 11 years. His anniversary date was 10 Aug and we've commemorated his passing on this day instead of the lunar date (10th day of the 7th lunar month). I supposed it's easier to remember (although I admit I actually forgot to do it this year).

So yeah, here I am at the columbarium today to do due diligence to these two events.

:-)

My new car

The car finally arrived on the 8 Aug. And it's with a slight bit of sadness that I parted ways with my old car. After all, it was a car that was purchased with my mum. Anyway, it's time to scrap the old car. Her time was up.

My Grandma

This is a pic of my grandma. I had to touch it up to prepare for the exhumation of her remains, and moving her resting place to the columbarium. As I touched up her photo, I kept thinking of how my mum looked like her. And uncannily, I also see some bits of myself in her, especially my eyes...

Jakarta

Had just returned from a 3-day trip to Jakarta. It's a short but nice trip. It gave me the mental break that I really required. This time round, I managed to see up close a few places that I had previously drove by. These include the National Monument, the national mosque as well as the Chinatown market. Took the chance to also pay a visit to Kota Tua (Old Town), Plaza Indonesia and Grand Indonesia. Thing about Indonesia is that it is a huge archipelago and its a very complex society with lotsa different culture, races, and religions. And because of that, I always get to see different perspectives of Indonesia whenever I visit the country. It's no different this time.

managing health

"Aging is such a bitch"...

A friend said two days ago when I wished him Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha. I can so totally connect with what he said as I myself have been experiencing all sorts of aging-related issues these days. You see, I went for my routine body check-up last month and my doctor suggested that I go through a series of checks to manage my current health issues. 

For a start, he ordered a sleep test for me to manage my insomnia and sleep apnea. I will be doing the test later this month and for now, I have to flush my nasal cavity twice a day and apply the nasal spray in order to manage my nasal back drip. This is to minimise nose blocks and hopefully aid my sleep. I have also started my physiotherapy to strengthen my legs and later, my core. This is to manage my backache, that has been getting worst by the days. Will be heading to the heart clinic to review my heart issues later this month too.

I've never experienced all these issues all at once before and almost everything seemed to flare up over the last 2 years. So, yeah, I agree with my friend. "Aging is a bitch". But I supposed, aging will come regardless. Just have to embrace it gracefully and live my life happily. Or at least, make the best out of it.

:-)

Monthly trips

Have been able to maintain my monthly travel plans thus far! These trips may be short but importantly they do provide me the much needed mental break from work. For some reasons, I can only sleep well when I’m overseas. Once home, I get insomnia and I wake up frequently through the night. I can only suspect it’s work-related stress...

This year, for some reasons, I feel tensions and stress across the department. And people can be a little uncooperative and rude at times. The recent high turnover of good people and bosses didn't help at all given that these are the people I have to work with in my daily course of work.

Hopefully things will smoothen out.

Jul 2019 Shows

These are the shows I watched in Jul 19...

• Crayon Shin-chan Honeymoon Hurricane: The Lost Hiroshi (3.5)
• Spider-Man: Far From Home (4)
• Toy Story 4 (4)
• Lion King (4)
• Doraemon Nobita's Chronicles of the Moon (3.5)
• Coco (4)
• Mission impossible: Rouge Nation (3.5)

Reviewing trips & locations

I’ve been reviewing trips and locations in Tripadvisor for a couple of months now. Good place to serve as my travel-log and also capture my opinions about the places I experienced and the food I ate. 

Getting used to... life goes on...

Will you be embarrassed if someone, who is your leader and/ or represents you, consistently conducts himself/ herself in a manner that is inconsistent with your values?

I will.

Yet on the other hand, I know I have no choice given that he/ she is in the position and I will just ignore and distant myself away from him/ her and not associate myself with his actions/ words. It’s not a pleasant thing to do. But I acknowledged such people exists and I supposed, over time, I have to get used to them.

I do not enjoy being in such a position but...

Life goes on.

Insomnia

...

Highly Irritable Me

Of late, I noticed:

• I am highly irritable and impatient
• I get pissed off with people and things around me
• I have mood swings
• I am often misunderstood 
• I feel depressed
• I don't feel like doing anything
• I am losing control of things
• I feel helpless
• I feel trapped
• I want to go overseas badly
• I don't enjoy my life
• I feel that life has no meaning and purpose
• I don't want to talk
• I want company, yet
• I want to be alone in my own thoughts
• I want attention and people to pamper me
• I feel overwhelmed by and under-supported at work
• ...

Ok, just venting... hoping for this phase to pass... too consumed by the “I”s. Not good. Perhaps, I am just burned out and I need a very very very long break - a break away from Singapore and with people I want to be with.

Aging Doctor

I've seen Dr Kong for as long as I can recall. I also understood from my late-mum that he operated on me when I was 5 years old. That was almost 5 decades ago. Dr Kong runs a clinic in Marine Parade since 1974 and he's been well-regarded by many in the neighbourhood for his friendliness. He has, over the years, seen many families and has earned the title of "family doctor" for many. Many continued to return to Marine Parade to see him even after they moved out of the estate. I am one of them. 

Dr Kong is in his 80s now. In recent times, I noticed his increasing frailty. He still runs his clinic but occasionally, his son, who is also a medical practitioner, will stand in for him. I also suspect his memory is beginning to fail him. He now shows signs of forgetfulness. And I say that because I went to see him over the weekend and instead of addressing me by my English name (like how he had done over the last 5 decades), he addressed me by my chinese name (as shown in my medical record card). It was weird. I related this incident to the clinical assistant and they also shared that this happened to another lady patient.

Signs of time and aging.

Want to vs Have to

Do things for people because you want to and not because you have to... Some thing to think about. Another way to look at it is - Do what you want, but make people feel you mean it.

Hmmmm...

Reflections

得到的未必是好的

丢掉的未必是坏的

Moths - bearer of ill omens

I am not a superstitious person but for some reasons or coincidences, I've come across many stories about moths and how their appearances often coincide with bad things. For example, ever since I was a small boy, my mum had related to me about how moths appeared when my grandparents passed on. The same happened almost yearly during their death anniversary. I heard the same story from my aunts... and the storyline was quite similar. And this week, a close friends' dad passed on. When I visited the wake, the family members told me how they felt uneasy when a moth appeared in their house and refused to leave. Instead, the moth flew around and found its place at the family altar. That very night, the dad passed on...

Coincidence? 

New Car

I have finally purchased a new car. It's a Cerato 1.6L SX. Expected delivery is something between Aug - Oct 2019. And for the first time since I started driving, I decided to get a striking red coloured car. Just nice to replace my current car as it will hit the 10-year deadline come Jan 2020. 

:-)

picture from https://www.cyclecarriage.com/sg/kia/cerato

Free of Housing Loans

I have finally signed the document to clear my housing loans... now, its the waiting game for the legal documents to be done and I'll be free of the loans! It's been 30 years (plus-minus one or two) and it is really good to be debt free (expected sometime Sep 19).

:-)

Movies 2019

Here are the movies I've watched over the last half year. I think there are a few more but I cannot recall them all...

Jun

X-men: Dark Phoenix

Men in Black: International 

May

Capernaum (Arab movie)
Pokémon Detective Pikachu

The Hustle

A Dog's Journey

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Apr

Shazam

Hellboy

Avengers: Endgame

Mar

Captain Marvel

Hotel Mumbai

Dumbo

Feb

Alita: Battle Angel

How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World

Cold Pursuit

Jan

The Kid Who Would Be King
Glass 

(and one more japanese anime)

and here are some of the movies I forgot to blog about in 2018...

• Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse
• Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
• Ralph Breaks the Internet
• Venom
• The House with a Clock in Its Walls
• Mission Impossible: Fallout

Penang trip

Made a trip to Penang over the last weekend. As usual, it was focused on eating the different Penang hawker fare. I was reminded again of how the hawker culture Penang and Singapore started off quite similarly decades ago and how they had evolved differently through the years.

For Penang, many are still hawking their fares along the roadsides and cooking using wood/ charcoal. Patrons would sit by the roadside and the whole feel is very festive. Interestingly, I do not see many hawkers selling malay food and so such streetside culture is somewhat rather Chinese-centric. (I am sure there are non-Chinese hawkers, but in the few places I visit, they are largely Chinese). Nonetheless, the hawker scene has become somewhat a tourist attraction and many tourists, including those from Singapore, and even China. Much of the old world charm had been retained.

For Singapore, such streetside hawkers are no longer in existence. They have been centralised and licensed and now sell their food in well ventilated hawker centers that are fitted with taps, toilets etc. Almost all hawker centers has Muslim and Non-Muslim sections that sell all sorts of food - Chinese, Indian, Malay, Western, etc. Such multi-ethnic combination is a result of policies to bring communities together and to promote community interactions. Things are very orderly and over the years, hawker centers have become a very effective community space that attracts and bring communities together.

Same years ago, different now. Such, I believe are the outcomes of different systems.

Potable water

It's interesting to note a Malaysian residing Singapore telling another visiting Singapore that "you can drink water direct from the tap". I think many Singaporeans have taken this fact for granted...

Old practices - for your protection

This is a random post...

As a boy, my mum would bring me to the temple regularly and whenever she did so, she’d bring back a talisman. Then she’d fill a glass with water, hold the talisman over it and burn the talisman. She would hold the burning talisman until it nears her finger and drop the burned ashes into the glass of water. She would then stir the glass of ashes in water and make me drink the content...

Trust you me - the content tasted horigible!!! And I never failed to protest. And of cos, she’d insist that it's for my own good cos after drinking it, I will be blessed and will be protected from all sorts of evil. “Peng peng an an” (Hokkien for peace) she would call out loud... And she’d reward me with some sweets once I swallowed all the content... Superstitious practises of the older generation. But it was certainly borne of noble intent. It's kinda sweet, thinking back. And I doubt people do such things anymore.

:-)

Iku-iku iku-iku

I was waiting to see the doctor and decided to google some Japanese words that I come across quite often. And I found out that "hontoni" means "really", "kimochi" means "shiok" aka "I'm feeling good". And finally, "iku iku" means "I'm going"... that means Japanese scream "I'm going" when they're cumming.

Wonder where this confusion in directions come from.

Hmmm...

Vesak Day 2019 (Vesak 2563)

I commemorate Vesak 2019 (Vesak 2563) by myself this year. I am in the queue for the 3-step-1-bow ceremony and it certainly feels different. Very different indeed, and with a sense of loss. Commemorating this ritual over the last decade plus had been eventful and involved quite a few people... but not this year.

Have to move along with times. Have to remind myself again that the rituals I undertake as I commemorate this holy day is a personal commitment to my faith and not becos of any specific persons or friends. I had vowed to undertake the 3-step-1-bow ritual since 1990 after successfully graduating with good results and I have not stopped since. I will keep this commitment for as long as my body allows me to. I am really not sure how much further my body can withstand the physical nature of this activity. Last year, I almost suffered heat exhaustion towards the end of the ceremony and had to be helped by people around me. Hopefully, things will be well tonight. I am alone and have to remind myself to take things a step at a time, and to stop if I feel unwell.

Blessed Vesak to one and all. May this day be a reflective one for everyone as we commit and cultivate ourselves to be better human beings, and strive to achieve Enlightenment.

With Metta 🙏🏻

It’s an age thing?

Lately, a long time friend of mine was warded for minor op. Apparently, the doctors found a small growth on his throat and advised him to remove it. And that was what he did. A biopsy was done and it was confirmed that it's cancerous. A second op was arranged to remove his thyroid immediately and after a week, he was discharged.

I was quite affected when I learned about this development. I had known him since 1980 and he has never had any issues with his health. For that matter, he has never been hospitalised! So this sudden development took me by surprise. Added to this, I visited my second sis and found her hands and legs  covered with raw sores. Apparently, the sores had started appearing since Jan 19 and has now spread to her whole body. The only area that is still not affected is her face. The doctors had ran quite a few tests but found nothing. They just couldn't make sense out of it!

It's not pleasant, but I can only conclude that people my age/ generation are falling ill... and of cos, it didn't help that coincidentally the papers published an article about how people in my generation are generally weaker compared to that of my parents generation - judging from the number of people that suffers 3 or more chronic illness.

Signs of times. I must brace myself for more such news and personally, I must remind myself to face aging bravely and just embrace whatever comes by.

Bring it on!

Impressions of Xiamen

We visited Xiamen over the May holidays and it was crazy! Didn't realise it was also China's golden week where all Chinese were given 4 days off. Anyway, decided to visit Xiamen to have a first hand experience of Fujian province - where my ancestors came from. My mental picture of laid back villages and filthy streets was totally wrong when I came face to face with a modern clean city bursting with colours and life!

But I must say the overall experience was less than perfect. You can imagine the crowds that we experienced at every nooks and corners. It was the May holidays and the in-country migration of local tourist was at its peak. Some of the places we visited include the Zhongshan shopping street, Hu Li Fort, Xiamen University, Nanputuo temple, Xiamen Railway Cultural Park, Cat Alley, Coffee Street, Gulangyu Island, etc. And at all these places, we were subjected to crowds pushing their ways around and screaming their heads off.

We also made a trip further out to Zhangzhou Nanjing where we visited the World Heritage sites Hakka Tianluokeng Tulou villages and the Yun Shui Yao ancient town (a town that existed since the Ming dynasty)... The sights were really interesting and the views were at times stunning.

But as I said, the crowds really dampened the whole experience, especially when the locals spoke loudly and their social habits are not what I am used to... nonetheless, the 5-day break was a good one - not just from the stress of work, but also from the terribly hot weather back in Singapore.

Looking forward to my next trip!

Genting Highlands

Took a trip to Genting Highlands over the last weekend and wow, the place had changed so much I couldn't recognise!

The last time I was there in 1984, there was only one hotel and it was mostly forested. I also recalled a huge lake that had an arch formed by two giant brontosaurus. The lake and the brontosaurus are not there anymore. Today, there are so many hotels, theme parks and the place is so so bloody crowded! And I'm not sure if it's me or it's true - that the place is not as cool. One of the deepest impression I had of Genting was waking up in the morning to see thick clouds below the hotel. It felt magical, really like we were in the heavens. But I don't see such sights today, possibly because my hotel this time round was not right on top of the mountain.

Anyway, it was an eye opener and I supposed what I saw and experienced are signs of time. I mourn the lost of all the calm, peace and unadulterated nature.

Bad Road Behaviours

I really suspect this bad road behaviour is only found in Singapore, judging from the frequency of me experiencing it - it's rushing forward to deny someone from filtering when he/ she signals his/ her intent, or worst - bullying a person after he had successfully filtered. It's very frustrating. And whenever it happened to me, I will never give up the chance to respond to the person. This uncle is ok to take the challenge. Here's what happened today... 

I was on the expressway heading home. I was in the middle lane and as the car in front of me was a tat slow, I decided to overtake it. I checked my rear mirror and noted there was a car a distance back. The car was travelling at a speed that was about the same as mine. I decided it was safe to filter and signalled my intent. And once I did so, the driver of the car increased his speed. As he was quite a distance away, I managed to successfully filter out. He was still a couple of car lengths behind me. He must have felt unhappy for he started flashing his high beam at me repeatedly as he picked up speed even more and began tailgating me. He continued flashing his high beam as he did so... wtf! 

I didn't take such behaviours lightly. It was not like as though I had filtered and cut into his path dangerously at near proximity. And after filtering successfully, I was not even road hogging - I was going at slightly more than 100kmph! So I did what I thought would make him stop his bullying - I stepped onto my brake hard (hard enough to scare the person but in a controlled manner to avoid a collision). My action was aimed at startling him and I knew I achieved my aim for his car pulled away from me very quickly. But once he recovered from his startle, his bullying continued.  He picked up speed again and kept quite close to me. I continue tapping my brake and, in the process, slowed down to almost 70kmph. By now, he knew I was not to be messed with. I suspected he panicked as he slowed further and now kept a considerably large distance behind me. I waited for him to overtake from my left but he didn't. It was clear he was afraid.

I continued at 70kmph at the outermost lane for the next km or so and he kept a far distance behind me. When I eventually filtered to exit the highway, he gingerly increased his speed and drove pass me. I stared at him but he didn't dare look at me. He's a young nerdy-looking bespectacled driver no more than in his late-20s. And he was driving a new car no older than a month or two old, judging from his car's registration plate. WTH, bloody ball-less road bully trying to play the fool with me. I would have played with him till he ended his journey, but no... it was not worth it. Enough just to make him panic and teach him a lesson. 

(as I typed the above, I also concluded that I myself was not behaving well... heh heh)

Qingming 2019

Over the last weekend, I observed the Qingming festival. This is the annual tomb-sweeping festival and I had been doing it for as long as I recalled. As a kid, I would head to the cemetery with my mum and since my mum's passing, I had observed this event with my aunt and her family. This year, however, it's a little different.

For the first time, my Uncle didn't come along. That, to me, was not normal. He's an old person in his mid-80s and observing such traditions has always been important to him. He’s aged significantly when I last met him during the Lunar New Year. So I hoped his absence over the weekend was simply cos the weather was too hot (as my Cousin has shared) and not a sign of more serious things to come.

Housing Loans

I resolved to clear my housing loan by this year. Will be rather stretched and will mean possibly not being able to undertake big ticket items like getting a new car, renovating the house or having a major holiday or for that matter, changing my job. But it's ok, I want to clear it soonest. Been 3 decades plus. Too long.

Pet Peeve

One of my pet peeve was having a family splitting up and queueing at the different queues at the supermarket. And all would give up their queues once whoever reaches the cashier first. This, to me, is very inconsiderate (although admittedly, I had been guilty of such behaviours too). Anyway, here's what happened when, by chance, I broke up such a mother-daughter pair yesterday.

I was at the supermarket and after getting what I wanted, I made my way to the cashier. There were 2 counters and there were 2 queues. It so happened that left queue ended with a trolley. A lady had her hand on the trolley and she stood next to a younger girl who was queuing in the right queue. And they were both chatting happily. Behind this girl, there were a few others and it looked like after the girl, there was only one queue.

Being a little confused, I walked up and asked the lady if there was one or two queues. She looked at me and answered, a bit rudely, that there were two. Once she did that, the empty-handed young girl quickly walked away from the right queue and pretended like she had never queued in the first place. This, apparently, was greeted with huge smiles from those queueing behind the girl and the distinction between the right and the left queues became clear.

I looked a little closer at the queues and realised that on the left queue, there were two persons in front of the mother and each person has a full basket-load of groceries. And for the right queue, there were four persons but their baskets were only half full. It was then that I realised they were a mother-daughter pair and that the daughter had been in the other queue hoping that it would go faster. Anyway, I didn’t bother, I simply joined in the right queue.

Sighs...

(for the record, I managed to pay for my purchases before the mother did... heh).

Ma!...

I came home early from work last afternoon totally exhausted. I headed straight to my bed and just collapsed in it, whole body still wet from my perspiration from the hot afternoon sun. I fell into a deep momentary sleep, or more appropriately, a nap, although I was struggling to keep awake. It was just not normal for me to do afternoon naps but I was just too exhausted. After what might have been a 5-min sleep, I woke up, and in my drowsy and confused state, I called out “Ma!...”. I thought my mum was watching tv in the living room. The realisation that my mum died 3-plus years ago sank in as I slowly gain consciousness. It was not a good feeling. I felt really sad. 

Some things just do not leave your subconscious.

Sighs.

My Funeral (updated 2019)

Ever since my heart procedure, I have been very much more conscious about my own mortality. I make it a point to whatsapp people who matter to me - just to say "Hi" and to thank them for anything that I feel deserves my appreciation. And the possibility of not being able to wake up when I fall asleep, or to suddenly get a heart attack, etc become very real. And it is with this thought that I am, once again, updating how I want my funeral to be done. It's not morbid to me, it is a responsible thing to do. The last time I did this was in 2011.

And reading that post, I must say that much of what I wrote back then still applies. Here're the salient points - in its most simple form, i should just be cremated once i passed on. No frills. But I know this is not acceptable to people who want to mourn and have their closures. And if that is the case, it is my wish that my funeral should follow basic Buddhist rites - a basic coffin, 3- (or 5-) day wake, cremation followed by sea burial. I come with nothing and go with nothing. The only thing I should leave behind are memories of me, hopefully good ones.

Afternote: I forgot and have missed this important point - I do not want to be on life support if it my life ever come to that stage where I am no longer able to make any decisions. If it’s time to go, let me go.

Clubbing

I went clubbing in KL over the weekend and for the first time since 2005, I actually just let myself go and danced like there was no tomorrow! It helped that the songs played were all hits from the 80s/ 90s (so totally my era)! It was one helluva fun, dancing with pz's bff and a couple friend of ours.

Been a long long while!

Hehe...

Of Waterfalls & Puppies

Decided to make a trip to JB Kota Tinggi Waterfalls this morning. The last time I visited it was more than 2 decades ago. But for some reasons, I felt the urge to visit the place. And so, we (pz and I) drove in about 8am. It was great that there was no traffic jams at the Second Link and in no time, we were cruising along the Johore highway towards Kota Tinggi. The roads had been widened since I last drove there and we managed to arrive at the place late morning. Sadly, the place was closed for maintenance. Nonetheless, I decided to park the car to take a closer look at the signage at waterfall entrance.

Once I got off my car, I heard cries from a puppy and a bitch barking at me. I couldn’t see the puppy as it was blocked by the bitch and she stood there between two parked cars. Something seemed wrong, judging from the sound of its cries. I dropped onto my knees, signalling to the bitch that I’m not hostile. She barked a bit more and then she stopped and just stood there, looking at me. After a few seconds, she walked away from the car, revealing a yelping puppy behind, half-hidden by the car. Now, this was not normal - a mother moving away from her crying puppy. Sensing something was not right, I walked towards it and I saw a disturbing sight. The puppy, probably no more than 6 weeks, had had its head caught in the fence and it was struggling to free itself. I told myself I had to help it. 

I walked to it, half expecting the bitch to charge at me, as what all mothers would do. But surprisingly, she was nowhere to be seen. I knelt down and held the puppy’s head. The neck was tightly encircled by the fence wire and it was trying to push its body across. And the more it tried, the tighter the wire got and it was choking. All it could do was simply cry and yelp badly. Judging from the pool of saliva on the floor, the exhausted face and the fearful look of its small eyes, I could only conclude that its head had been caught for some time. Gently, I held the head with one hand as I loosen the wires with the other. Once the wire loosen, the puppy lunged forward as it tried to push itself through. I had to push it back. There was no way the whole body could go through the hole. It struggled and pushed hard against my hand even as I pushed the head backwards. After a while, it stopped pushing and simply let me move it’s head. I managed to release it from the fence and once released, the puppy stumbled back and quickly ran into a hole in the drain as it continued crying and yelping. Quickly, I reached into the hole and pulled it out and brought it across to my side of the fence. I needed to reunite it with it’s mother. I placed it beside the car and it crawled under it as it continued crying. It was a very sad sight. A badly traumatised and weakened puppy hiding underneath a car and crying away. 

I left it there and walked towards the entrance of the waterfall and noted it was off limits. Regretably, I had to leave the place. When I reached back the car park, a group of foreigners walked by and the bitch barked ferociously at them. The bitch had gone back to her puppy and she had with her another puppy! I believed she was trying to protect her puppies from a perceived hostility. I stood there and observe her and bend down to look at the two puppies under the car. And guess what? The bitch walked up to me, looked at me and walked pass me. It was amazing. It seemed like she understood I was not an enemy. I poured a container of water and left it beside the car for the puppies. By now, the traumatised puppy had stopped crying and it was simply lying down resting underneath the car. I left them there to rest and drove off.

Reflecting through this whole incident, a few things struck me - the bitch could distinguish between friend and foe and when the situation calls for it, she will entrust her puppy to someone whom she felt could help. Also, even a puppy no more than 6 weeks old has a very strong will to live and will use all its strength to save itself, no matter how hard circumstances are. And lastly, a bitch is fully capable of showing appreciations. Amazing. It was indeed a really good and meaningful trip, even though I didn’t get to see the waterfalls. The puppy wouldn’t have lasted much longer under the blazing sun, and a dead puppy strangled by a fencing wire would have been a very gruesome sight.  For that moment, it felt like someone had wanted me there to save the puppy. Cos thinking about it, the chance of it happening was very slim for two reasons - the place is closed and quite deserted; and secondly, Malaysia is a Muslim country and I suspect not many would dare to approach a dog.

Urologist Review

Had my review with the urologist today.

Was asked to do an x-ray when I arrived and that was weird. But I learned later that it was becos they found evidence of stones in my right kidney and wanted to confirm it again.

Anyway, the urologist updated that there was no trace of infection nor cancer cells in both the blood and urine. As such, the conclusion was that blood in urine was mainly due to kidney stones.

From the ct scans, they also found evidence of stones - probably about 3mm in both kidneys. Also, a large stone about 6mm was seen in ureter but it did not show up in the x-ray done today. This was weird given the size of the stone, and thus, the urologist suspected I might have passed it out.

With these findings, the urologist suggested not to undertake any invasive treatment currently as the chance that I had passed out the stone was very high. Also, he wanted to err on the safe side given that I'm on heart medication. I was subsequently asked to return for another review in 3 months. The additional time will also allow the heart to stabilise. For now, to keep drinking and flush the system.

So that's good news I think...