my suicide plans

have never told anyone about this before. if you are freaked out by death, don't read on. the following are 4 specific plans that i have planned before with regards how i will end my life.

• plan a: i will find myself a high place (actually no need too high but high enough) and i will simply, jump... simple. fastest way to go.

• plan b: i will be driving and speeding as fast as i could. then, i will close my eyes and release my hands from the steering wheel.

• plan c: i will be driving and speeding as fast as i could. then i will open the door and throw myself out of my car.

• plan d: i will simply go to a highway. then i will close my eyes and dash across the road.

and frankly, i have tried plan c before. only reason why i am still here was that the person in the car pulled me in before i could fully throw myself out. and amongst all these plans, plan a is the surest to succeed and the one that have been playing through my mind very frequently in recent years/ months/ weeks/ days. in fact, when i stand at my window or balcony, i sometimes feel the tendency to jump. as for all the other plans, all has the disadvantage of me not achieving death...

ok, enough of such talk. just wanna put them into writing here.

and hey, i am not pantang to talk about death.

picture from http://www.articlesweb.org/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/an-alert-against-suicide-1.jpg