over the past couple of weeks, khoon seng and i exchanged quite a bit of emails. but frankly, these mails were more one way where he was doing all the asking and i was doing all the answering. and all the questions centered around the issue of sexuality, or more specifically, homosexuality. the chain of mails started from sexuality education for kids, the role of parents to lifestyle of homosexuals. questions posed include "since when did you start to be gay?" (ans: i did not `start' to be gay at a particular point in time in my life, i was born gay), "as a parent, how can i better talk to my kids about sexuality?" (ans: give the facts objectively, state your views/ stand, and explain the reasons), and so on. i gave my answers. objectively, not in a pro-homosexual, nor anti-religion manner. i impressed upon him that the value judgment must come from him, based on his beliefs and values.
it was indeed a very good conversation. and occasionally i would share with bee bee what we discussed. he was rather amazed at how patient i was with the questions which, at times, sounded rather offensive. frankly, there were one or two occasions where i felt offended. but reflecting, i think the questions arose from ignorance (such as bisexuals have both male and female reproductive organs), stereotypes (eg lesbians are all tomboys and gays are all effeminate people), or gross generalisation of perceptions (eg hiv incidents are higher amongst drug users, hiv are higher amongst msms, and therefore gay men are drug users) or even very conservative christian-based views.
i guess bee might not understand me as to why i had kept my patience and continued with the conversation. being patient and explaining the details to khoon seng, or, for that matter, anyone who are open or bothered to engage me in such conversation is one small way i could contribute to eradicate ignorance amongst my friends and the community in general. for every person whom i can share my perspective, i am sure i will be able to help cultivate a society that is more inclusive, a society that accepts my existence. even if they do not necessary accept my sexuality.
it was indeed a very good conversation. and occasionally i would share with bee bee what we discussed. he was rather amazed at how patient i was with the questions which, at times, sounded rather offensive. frankly, there were one or two occasions where i felt offended. but reflecting, i think the questions arose from ignorance (such as bisexuals have both male and female reproductive organs), stereotypes (eg lesbians are all tomboys and gays are all effeminate people), or gross generalisation of perceptions (eg hiv incidents are higher amongst drug users, hiv are higher amongst msms, and therefore gay men are drug users) or even very conservative christian-based views.
i guess bee might not understand me as to why i had kept my patience and continued with the conversation. being patient and explaining the details to khoon seng, or, for that matter, anyone who are open or bothered to engage me in such conversation is one small way i could contribute to eradicate ignorance amongst my friends and the community in general. for every person whom i can share my perspective, i am sure i will be able to help cultivate a society that is more inclusive, a society that accepts my existence. even if they do not necessary accept my sexuality.
2 comments:
have you referred you friend to the 20 questions at yawningbread.org?
http://yawningbread.org/arch_1998/yax-117.htm
ah... thanks for the link. i'll probably do so when i have the opportunity to. it sure will complement my conversations with him.
:-)
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