i often hear groups speaking against homosexuality and their stand that homosexuality is about choices, and that a homosexual can become a heterosexual if they want to. my immediate reaction would be - totally stupid! totally baseless! i cannot connect with such a claim because i am a living proof that i was born gay! i had tried to date girls, i had tried to initiate relationships with girls... but in the end, it would be a case of going out with girls, but looking at guys. ha ha... also, my relationships with girls would always end up more of brother-sister/ buddy relationship more that anything else! anyway, back to the topic...
and when i do sit down and ask myself, why do these people insist that sexuality is about choices and what made them so adamant that it is something one can choose, some possible reasons came to my mind - could it be becos (1) they have counselled people and people chose to lead a life with a member of the opposite sex? (2) it is against their religious believes? (3) misinformation? (4) lack of information aka ignorance? (5) claims in the guise of unfounded fear? (heard some idiotic claims from some ill-informed homophobics that being with/ talking to a gay man can turn one gay! reading books that talked about gay stuff will turn one gay!... pure absurdity!) but i guess all these are possibilities. ignorance and fear can do wonders to rational-thinking people. and i am pretty sure if they are not gay, they would probably be in the "i don't know what i don't know" quadrant of johari's window... and it would certainly be a case of us (gays) talking to people who absolutely do not know what they are talking about! and this mean, we will never ever be able to make them understand, much less, to accept our existence!
then again, i ask - if they had already been given all the information, why then, did they not accept? was it becos they can claim they have proof of people who claimed they have been converted? or it is still based on some very strong moral believes that might possibly be irrational/ illogical? and i reflected again... and i concluded that it could possibly be! but i do also conclude one more thing - and it became rather clear to me.... thus far - the discussion has been very focused on homosexuals and heterosexuals... and when the debate only focus on these two extremes, there is no way to meet. they have left out the whole idea of bisexuality! and those who claimed they are homosexuals and have been successfully been converted could possibly be bisexuals! and the presence of these bisexuals therefore became the convenient (misguided) proof that homosexuals can be converted! and therefore, as in all human nature, i see what i want to see, i believe what i want to believe.
gee, is bisexuality the missing link? perhaps as a community, we should start talking about bisexuality too to provide a balance and more holistic approach to the discussion. i am dead sure that once bisexuality is brought in, many of the heterosexuals would take a step back and reflect... and probably become better informed about the many different shades of grey!
ps: as a homosexual, i am dead sure i cannot ever be aroused by a woman. so to me, it is absolutely not about choices. i am dead sure no amount of brainwashing can make me wanna sleep with women much as those alpha-male heterosexuals will never sleep with men despite all sorts of coaxing. and i am dead sure about it.
and when i do sit down and ask myself, why do these people insist that sexuality is about choices and what made them so adamant that it is something one can choose, some possible reasons came to my mind - could it be becos (1) they have counselled people and people chose to lead a life with a member of the opposite sex? (2) it is against their religious believes? (3) misinformation? (4) lack of information aka ignorance? (5) claims in the guise of unfounded fear? (heard some idiotic claims from some ill-informed homophobics that being with/ talking to a gay man can turn one gay! reading books that talked about gay stuff will turn one gay!... pure absurdity!) but i guess all these are possibilities. ignorance and fear can do wonders to rational-thinking people. and i am pretty sure if they are not gay, they would probably be in the "i don't know what i don't know" quadrant of johari's window... and it would certainly be a case of us (gays) talking to people who absolutely do not know what they are talking about! and this mean, we will never ever be able to make them understand, much less, to accept our existence!
then again, i ask - if they had already been given all the information, why then, did they not accept? was it becos they can claim they have proof of people who claimed they have been converted? or it is still based on some very strong moral believes that might possibly be irrational/ illogical? and i reflected again... and i concluded that it could possibly be! but i do also conclude one more thing - and it became rather clear to me.... thus far - the discussion has been very focused on homosexuals and heterosexuals... and when the debate only focus on these two extremes, there is no way to meet. they have left out the whole idea of bisexuality! and those who claimed they are homosexuals and have been successfully been converted could possibly be bisexuals! and the presence of these bisexuals therefore became the convenient (misguided) proof that homosexuals can be converted! and therefore, as in all human nature, i see what i want to see, i believe what i want to believe.
gee, is bisexuality the missing link? perhaps as a community, we should start talking about bisexuality too to provide a balance and more holistic approach to the discussion. i am dead sure that once bisexuality is brought in, many of the heterosexuals would take a step back and reflect... and probably become better informed about the many different shades of grey!
ps: as a homosexual, i am dead sure i cannot ever be aroused by a woman. so to me, it is absolutely not about choices. i am dead sure no amount of brainwashing can make me wanna sleep with women much as those alpha-male heterosexuals will never sleep with men despite all sorts of coaxing. and i am dead sure about it.
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