haircut

i had my haircut this afternoon and i feel very good about it.

well, it was not the shortened hair per se. but rather, i think it was that i feel less messy, less oily, less disorganised and more attractive. and all these adds up and hmmmm, i feel good.

added to that was that i have selected my marble top and...

weekend is here!!!

:-)

my friend pauline

interestingly enough, today, my hr manager (straight, mother of a primary school girl) spoke with me at the canteen. i had known her for the longest time ever (more than 23 years i think). and while having coffee with her, she asked if i am keen to join a programme about planning for life, about facing oneself. she was keen to introduce the programme to me as she had wanted me to experience the benefits as she had. the conversation went on to cover some bits about my family and some of the possible tensions that i have in life. the talk about my life was, of cos, kept to a rather shallow level admittedly... and i could sense she had some areas about me that she could not make sense of.

and while at that, the topic drifted to how she, after attending the programme, got to know herself better, how to manage her life better and so on. and i was surprised when she went on to tell me that through the programme, she got to know gay couples, lesbian couples and so on. and she went on to share that she now has a better understanding of gays/ lesbians and the issues we face in singapore about societal pressures and acceptance, etc. she went on to share that she is perfectly at ease befriending gays/ lesbians. she added that she has agreed to provide moral support and to coach a lesbian lady as she go through the process of mothering and raising a child. i could see her motherly nature at play when i spoke with her :-)

somehow, through this whole conversation, i sensed she knew about me and was trying to egg me to come out to her. well, i didn't. i kept the conversation as that. nonetheless, i told her that i will tell her about my life and my experiences someday.

:-)

alvin

finally decided to share with alvin a bit about myself. outed myself last evening. alvin was my student. someone whom i taught last year. and of cos, i had suspected him for the longest time (tell tale signs include his behaviour, his enthusiasm and his way of seeing some things, his attention to things that a str8 would not usually see - in short - gaydar, bumping into him at bv pool, and so on)... yet i see no reasons nor desire to want to ask him further. it's up to him to reveal. it's his life to lead. and i respect that. and i got my confirmation when i bumped into him one night at the fort road car park while waiting for bee to knock off work! well, of cos he didn't know it was me la... it was so so dark... heh!

anyway, i decided to out myself to him last evening for the simple reason that i see no need to hide. he is a friend and there is no reason why i should try to hide my sexuality from a friend, much less a friend who is also gay.

selecting marble

finally, i took half a days' leave to select the marble for my dining table & chairs! it was an interesting experience. went to the shop. saw a whole lot of beautifully assembled but unlacquered wooden furniture - tables, chairs, 2-seaters, 3-seaters, etc. they were all stacked on top of each other.

and there was a whole stack of marble tops all wrapped up in plastic sheets. the shop keeper selected one for me. told me to take a look. i told him it was my first time selecting and he gave me an instant lesson as to what to look for - smooth surface, no cracks, no kinks, and so on. the same process was repeated for every piece of marble for the stool-top. it was a very straight forward process. and within half an hour, i was done!

i look forward to the mid-dec delivery of the tables and chairs!

:-)

feeling blah...

you know it is a bad day when
you wake up early and realized you have forgotten to feed your dog the night before.

you know it is a bad day when
your goldfish still refuse to die or to recuperate despite floating upside down for a couple of days.

you know it is a bad day when
you drive to work earlier than usual, gets into a jam and reach work later than usual.

you know it is a bad day when
your car gets so bloody dirty from precipitation that is heavier than a drizzle but lighter than rain.

you know it is a bad day when
the physiotherapy center has all the machines changed and you have to adapt to the new machines.

you know it is a bad day when
you get comments that make you feel very uneasy and you end up deleting comments from your blog.

you know it is a bad day when
everyone around you seemed down.

you know it is a bad day when
you were faced with a situation where you do not know how to respond.

you know it is a bad day when
your friends tell you they are down and out.

you know it is a bad day when
your friends call you to tell you their friends are down and out.

you know it is a bad day when
your friends call you to tell the above when you feel blah yourself.

you know it is a bad day when
people you love dearly around you are not around when you need them.

you know it is a bad day when
you leave work on time and drive right into jam caused by an accident where someone died.

you know it is a bad day when
you get a huge truck cut into your path suddenly in the middle of a jam.

you know it is a bad day when
you go to the swimming pool shower and realized you had left your toiletries at your workplace.

you know it is a bad day when
you go to the swimming pool and you get cruised by a close to 80 yr old hunchback bespectacled naked old man.

you know it is a bad day when
you return to an empty home at the end of the day.

you know it is a bad day when
your utility bill for the month register a lower electricity, water and gas usage compared to the month before yet your bill was higher cos of the price hike for electricity.

you know it is a bad day when
you hit dinner time and you feel hungry yet don't feel like eating.

you know it is a bad day when
you end up convincing yourself you are hungry and force down 2 chocolate biscuit, 8 sausages and a can of beer just to fulfill the need to eat something at dinner time.

you know it is a bad day when
you end up staring at the tv and watch re-runs of news of the day.

you know it is a fucking bad day when
everything that you have listed up here happened to you in proper chronological order within one single day!

you are just glad you are going to retire from the bad day.

online behaviour

am being cheeky in this post and shall do a bit of reflections about online behaviours. sometime back, i blogged about the reasons why people sent hearts to others online in fridae. and i do suggest that some of the reasons could be totally irrational and perhaps all about self-ego/ insecurities. so, here, i shall try to attempt to list the possible reasons why some people have thousands and thousands of friends in their friend list in facebook.

firstly, it is really possible that one can be so popular that he/ she keeps getting requests. in which case, the only reasons i could think of are that he/ she is really attractive or has some qualities/ x-factor that attracts people from across the whole range of demographic profile to want to be his/ her friend. to such a type of person, i would say - "you are really lucky!" and i would suggest that people that fall into such a category would belong to a small percentage of the overall population.

for others who do not fall into the category above, the only other reason why they have so many friends could only be that they keep requesting unabashedly people to be their friend. and i could think of a few possible reasons to explain this behaviour as follows:

• they actually have so many friends (possible but highly unlikely if you ask me)

• they want to impress upon people that they are popular (they have ego problems or perhaps, they are simply insecure)

• requesting for friends wontonly has become a habit and he/ she has become addicted to it (in which case, they have a behavioural disorder)

• they have too much time and have click all possible buttons there are to click... so, the only other thing left to click is to add/ request for friends (which then goes back to behavioural disorder)

what i have suggested above are two extremes. and i am sure that most people that have thousands of friends in their friend list fall somewhere in between the two group of extremes. so, my question to you if you fall into this list of people is - "which category are you?" heh heh... as i have said, i am just being cheeky with this posting. cos i've also noticed bee has so many friends in his list (over 2000!). and similarly, my question to him is - "are you the first of the second category?" heh heh...

:-)

ultimate pain

you know what is ultimate pain?

it is when you apply qin cao you (chinese herb-based iodine solution) onto a raw cut/ fresh wound on your sensitive areas!

ouch! ouch! ouch!

pain

you know what is pain?

it is when you apply qin cao you (chinese herb-based iodine solution) onto a raw cut/ fresh wound.

ouch!

being me!

received an sms from a friend just minutes ago. and he asked "what's this i heard abt this person in your company being sacked for molesting someone?". well, told him i know nothing about it and that if he has news, he should share with me. he replied "no, you tell me! you go find out and tell me, you are resourceful enough to do it i am sure." i replied that i have no interest in finding out such things and that i would rather leave it as it is (not that i am interested in it anyway). then again, it would not be wise of me to do so considering i am also being monitored by my security department. and he replied jokingly that since i am being tracked, i should just leave and be an ops manager in some schools... for that moment, i felt angry. i felt angry that someone out there had wanted me to do something for his own curiosity. i felt angry that despite sounding half-joking, he was insensitive and had demanded of such things knowing jolly well the situation i am in and the complications i had gone through just to stay in my job. i felt angry that he had trivialised my situation. i replied, rather sarcastically - i'd rather talk less. let them continue to track. on my part, earning 3 times the pay of an ops manager compensates for everything. well, of cos i was not serious when i said earning 3 times the pay. he stopped his sms-ing immediately.

sms was perhaps not the best media to sent such sensitive stuff. then again it was just me. i don't like people to demand things of me. if you want, ask politely. i may just do it. and if i turn you down, don't insist. don't insist and tell me i must do this, i must do that... even if i am wrong. i might turn around and bite. just becos i don't feel like doing it.

hmmph!

furnitures

after months of looking, i have finally placed a booking for a nice set of 3-seater sofa and a marble dining set (round table a 4 stools - very chinese! very kopi tiam-like) for my home! set me back by a little more than 2k! and the whole thing happened so fast! you see, bee and i decided to head to parkway parade to window shop this afternoon and next thing i knew, i bought the furniture!

it's amazing how fast it all happened considering we had gone shopping many times and not able to find something that i like over the pass months. and then all of a sudden, the transaction just happened. perhaps this is what some call "oh, it's like as though the furniture speaks to you lor..." heh heh... another way of looking at it could be "ah... i give up!... just get it la!" well, for me, i think it was a case of the former. simply fell in love with the pieces of furniture when i set eyes on them.

now, i shall make arrangements to choose my marble for the table / stool top and await for the delivery in dec! decided that it should be delivered in mid-dec. and from now till then, i will repaint my apartment and get a contractor to polish my flooring too! wooooooo... it'll be like having a new home for my coming birthday and christmas!

:-)

gayman's taboo

well... it was after the dragon boat training. and we were in the shed waiting for the ladies to complete washing up. and a biker on a nice rugged looking bike rode up to the shed. he went straight to the locker. i recognized him as the swimming instructor from my estate and called out to him... "hey!"

he looked at me for a second and gave me an blank look.

"well, changi green? you are swimming instructor there rite?" i went.

and next thing i knew his face brightened up and he exclaimed: "oh, you are the one with this xxxxx company rite?"

i nodded smilingly...

"wah... i can't recognize you, you have put on a lot of weight... you are so fat now..." he continued. and sensing something wrong, he quickly corrected himself... "so, so muscular now."

ya, rite... i was dumbfounded. i had to force a smile... hmmm... i might not be a woman. but being a gay man, saying i am fat is worst than if i were a woman! and worst still, he said it like it was the most natural thing on earth too! damned it! hmmph!

wtf!

:-)

bbq

again, it was fun. a perfect way to end the day!

if i might say, there was just too much too much food. as usual, both in terms of variety as well as quantity. hmmm... lets see what we had... 21 chicken wings, a huge pot of chicken curry, 1 huge squid, 1 kg prawns, half kg of pork, 1 kg of ngoh hiang, over 20 hotdogs & picnic sausages, 50 sticks of satay, 2 dozen otah, lots of salad, 2 large french loaves, sweet potatoes, lots of fruits, wine, beers, 3 dozen packets of drinks, 6 litres of fruit juice, fruit jelly, and so on...

and there was only 8-9 of us. from what was prepared, i thought it was enough to feed 20 persons!

then again, as i was telling lk, it was not the bbq-ing and eating of the food per se. rather, it was the interactions during the whole of the afternoon, the process of making, cutting, cooking, preparing, and so on that we found most satisfying.

:-)

dragon boating!!!

yes! it was a really hectic but fun-filled day!

the dragon boat fam training was really interesting! when we (my uni - yes germs, if only you could join us - and a couple of personal friends) arrived there, there was already a huge gathering of junior college and uni students doing their warming-up and training. they were going oohs and aahs with their war-cries. the typical war-cry one would expect of a professional dragon boating team. it was a little intimidating i must say. well, what do you expect rite? considering we were a heterogeneous group of mostly first timers and that amongst the 7-8 of us, some were totally out of shape, some looked like maids... even our dressing was a bit "undragon-boaty". and sitting by the side of the bedok reservoir jogging track while awaiting the rest of the group to arrive, we were subjected to stares by joggers and passer-bys (a lot of cute looking gaymen too!... ok, ok, that is another story)... only god knows what went on in their head when they looked at us, and then looked at the young sweet things with their oohs and aahs... and turning back to look at us again... heh heh... of cos, we continued our joking and laughing unabashedly. at times, i wondered if our laughters were weak attempts at masking our insecurities or perhaps our attempts at encouraging each other!

but of cos, soon enough, the trainer came (as in arrived... heh heh...), and hmmm... quite a decent looking one too. 22 yr old. and well, ahem, his macho shit behaviour would have had us believed he was straight until he started hitting upon my bee bee after the training... i mean, who would come up to you, and out of no appropriate context, start to talk about gym, cali fitness (aka gay central), working out and stuff rite? heh...

ok, back to the dragon boating experience. it was not as difficult as i had expected. the techniques was totally different to kayaking (that i was familiar with). but the principles of paddling and controlling the boat was similar, except that it had to be done as a team. so, my biggest takeaway was that dragon boating was more about team-building, about teamwork. how fast the boat move depends on good teamwork and chemistry amongst the team members. after rowing for about an hour, we were able to row in unison. not too smooth but we managed 300m in quite a decent timing.

most importantly, we all had loads of fun.

:-)

happy deepavali

today is the indian's festival of lights again. and so, i wish all my indian friends a very very happy diwali aka happy deepavali!

:-)

(photo courtesy of http://blog.sajithm.com)

wat a week

been a real hectic week. new course has started. new students. new demands. late nights and the works. well... guess all this comes as part of the extension of service. part and parcel of life i guess.

then again, time flies when the schedule is hectic. and yes! it's weekend again! and i've been so looking forward to this weekend! will be having a dragon boat fam training with my friends followed by bbq at my place on sunday. and so, it's house cleaning, shopping, etc etc etc before that! so... yup! weekend's gonna be no less hectic. but, i am sure it'll be very fulfilling and fun!

:-)

mak

mak - that is how i address my mum. it's a malay term for "mother". and that's how she had taught us all to address her since we were young. a result of her peranakan (straits born chinese) background. and my earliest memories of my mum was when i was nothing more than 2-3 years old. that was the time when i could still fit in and sleep in the suspended sarong and when i could still be carried and placed on the dining table for my meals. she would feed me using her hands and while feeding me, she would patiently teach me the malay terms for the dishes she cooked. "sayur... telor... ikan... nasi... etc".

these fond memories of my toddler days are still so vivid.

ok, back to her fall. called her up this morning to check on her. her giddiness had stopped. that was a good sign. her whole body still ached nonetheless. so i advised her to take some pain killers and rest for the day.

just glad things are ok.

:-)

mum

called my mum this morning and she sounded terrible. learned from her that she fell down twice in the middle of the last nite. as a result, her body has been aching like crazy and she's feeling giddy too. told her to rest and to take painkillers.

will see how. if her giddiness does not disappear tomorrow, i'll take her to the doctor.

bloated

something is wrong somewhere. since last week, started to have this weird pain in my right elbow. think it is similar to what people refer to as "tennis elbow". the only issue is that i don't play tennis. and this pain has lingered.

and today, i felt very bloated suddenly after lunch. and i felt very breathless. was a very uneasy feeling. i had to lock my office door, unbuckle my belt, loosen my pants and take deep breathes. the bloated sensation has not subsided although i could breathe better now. think i better get some medication before i hit the sack tonite.

wtf!

confirmation of extension

finally got the confirmation of extension today and signed the option form accepting it. so, yes, it's confirmed. i will leave my organisation on 1 aug 09.

and i emailed my security department to inform them of the extension. and soon enough, the officer covering me replied - "yes, we already know. your extension had been cleared by us." well, not the exact words per se but you get the idea. then again, to me, who my hr had cleared with was not my problem and neither was i supposed to know. i am only being `obedient'. as i was required to. just exactly as they termed it - `behaving responsibly'.

and of cos, i also included in the email where i went to and who i went with for my holiday recently for their info and records. again, as i was required to.

of marriages & lost cars

been having weird dreams lately...

two nights back, i was kept awake the whole night by dreams of marriages (between me and a woman - yes! a woman!... weird)... of waiting for it to happen but it never did. woke up, fell asleep and the dream recurred. similar conceptually but in different costumes and setting. and again, i woke up, fell asleep and the same dream repeats itself again. and again, same concept, different dressing, different setting. that was two nights ago.

and last nite, it was about me losing my car... walked up and down the car park to look for it. cannot find. and i repeated the search in a red car. drove around the whole car park, up and down, up and down... but still i couldn't find my car.

and on both nites, i kept tossing & turning. very disturbed sleep.

cannot make sense out of it. anyone can unravel these dreams?

of ferries & fairies

was at the trevvy forum and as usual there were lots of postings in the missed connections thread... one particular posting caught my eyes... it goes:

"anyone here went for the halloween party at changi fairy point chalet last night? pm me! :)"

i think he meant "ferry" but misspelling it as "fairy" seemed rather appropriate too if you know what i mean!

:-)

smart doggie

recently, i made a very interesting observation about sapphie. you see, i would bring her to pee three times a day, every day. first thing in the morning before heading to work, immediately after i knock off work and before bedtime.

of late, becos i was on leave frequently, i was able to observe a bit more of her and her habits. one interesting thing i observed was that her piss volume was very little in the evenings. also, i noticed she only take seeps of drinks in the day and instead choosing to drink lots of water only after the evening pee and through the night. this was very interesting cos it was the first indication of my dog adjusting her water intake to my presence at home and the frequency of bringing her downstairs to pee!

also, (this is not new), whenever she enters the house (after going out for watever reasons), she'd automatically walk into the kitchen and wait for me to clean her paws and legs. this is one of those habits that i have made her do so that her paws and legs do not end up dirtying the house too badly :-)

smart doggie!

:-)

jeremy tee tee 2

recently, i requested jeremy as friend in my facebook. and today he added me. within minutes, i got an sms from another friend ming - "your friend jeremy is so cute"... and then he adds "i'm in love with him too"...

he then asked if he could add jeremy as his friend, to which i replied "of cos la" (it all depends on whether jeremy would accept him as a friend ya? ha!) and added "but jeremy is straight hor". and so typical of ming - he replied very quickly and, i guessed, very instinctively - "ya, me too what, i straight woman!"

ha! so funny! trust ming to reply like this...

hmmm, i better protect my sweet tee tee from all my friends! hahahah!

:-)

burung murai

everytime i watch this, i feel my throat choke and my eyes swell with tears. and as i watch it again this year, it carries a deeper meaning...

routines/ bored

it's saturday evening again and invariably, i find myself sitting alone at home alternating between staring at the goggle box watching channelnewsasia and checking internet for mails. how sad!

does life always gravitate towards routines?

!!!

shithappens...

bai wu long

hahah... came back to office and somehow something told me that i better look at the small corner of my office... and true enough, i found my track shoes! ha! really, bai wu long! all these while, i thought i had brought it along to malaysia and it had been stolen.

so, to the thieves who stole our stuff, i apologize... for this one little accusation.

my mistake.

so happy my ortothics are not lost!

jeremy tee tee

went to queensway shopping center today to get my track shoes, toiletry bag and my swimming ear plugs... and just as i was about to leave, i bumped into jeremy! my long lost little brother! my tee tee!

i had known jeremy in 2001 when he was serving his national service. back then, i was doing a tour in mindef where he was a driver. and so, during a few occasions where we had our runs, jeremy was the assigned driver for the safety vehicle. we chatted and got along very well and we kept in contact after he completed his service. he had all the while addressed me as "sir" when he was in service but once he left service, he started addressing me as "kor" (elder brother). he had always wanted an elder brother and had seen me as one. that was how our relationship started. our frequency of contacts dropped over time given our pre-occupations with our respective lives.

and i was so happy to chanced upon him again today! after calling out to one another and exchanging pleasantries, we both felt the need to talk more and in the end, i walked around a bit with him as he bought his shoes (soccer boots - ya... so man rite?). and we went our separate ways after that. but not after i gave him a tight hug! it's so so nice to see him again after so long!

he's still so adorable and cute! `fall in love' with him all over again! really made my day! ha ha...

eye check

r375, l400 with astigmatism +25

that was the results from the visit to the optician last evening. apparently, the myopia has improved and decreased by 25 degrees both eyes. as for presbyopia, it is still not significant enough to need correction. and for the first time, i have astigmatism on my left eye.

a bit of good news, a bit of bad news... well, such is life. and as an immediate follow-up, i had my contact lenses changed. and a new pair of specs made.

heh heh...

malaysia - part 5

yes, i have had bad experiences with the malaysian police long time back where they stopped us and wanting to fine us for driving on the road shoulder (we were on the road shoulder to bypass a stalled vehicle on a one way one lane road) and threatening to fine us unless we give him some money... but that was a long time back. i have since gone back to malaysia many times over and have had good experiences. so i shall not allow my impressions of malaysia be changed by that one single incident.

malaysia will continue to be a beautiful place. a land of beauty - beautiful beaches, beautiful nature, hospitable people, wonderful mix of people of all cultures, religions and races.

of cos, there are rooms for improvements (as in every countries). and i would suggest - some focus on maintenance (of buildings, of places, and so on), less of politics along racial and religious lines.

and of cos, i will continue to go to malaysia and i will continue to drive up to malaysia to enjoy things malaysian.

:-)

malaysia - part 4

let's be optimistic and see how many good i can framed from what happened today... having my luggage stolen meant that...

• i can now go shopping for new clothes & pants, a new toiletry bag (and toiletries), a new pair of swimming ear plugs, a new luggage bag... so many stuff to shop! wow! heh heh... and of cos, not to mention,

• i can start to use my new swimming bag (i have had it for a few months already but felt too sayang to throw the old one away),
  

• i need not do my post-holiday laundry, and as a result, i can save electricity and water! (in fact, i felt quite lost cos i came home and realized i got nothing to unpack!)

• and of cos, i now have an interesting topic that i can talk about with my friends!
  

borrowing a sentence from a friend of mine - shit happens... and from a positive point of view, shit makes excellent fertilizer! :-)

ps: well, i wasted no time doing some of the shopping earlier. i managed to shopped for a new pair of specs, a new pair of goggles, some toiletries, and of cos, contact lens. and yes, i also managed to get my eyes checked by the optician!

malaysia - part 3

the feeling i get this time round when i visited malaysia was somewhat different from previous few times. perhaps it was due to the current political climate, or perhaps it was due to the current global financial crisis... well, whatever... somehow, the place seemed to have lost a bit of the hype and the air of excitement i saw two years back. it seemed quieter, it seemed a bit more dangerous. i felt a little more insecure.

and losing our things at the end of the 5 days seemed somewhat `to be expected' and `appropriate'. frankly, i wasn't really upset. instead, i was a little disappointed. disappointed that the trip had to end this way. disappointed that schneider and damien had lost a significant part of their shoppings. disappointed that my car had been broken in to and that both bee and i had also lost quite a bit of stuff. but as i said, i wasn't really upset. these things lost could be purchased. no, it's not becos i am rich. i am not. it is just that to me, these are materialistic stuffs. they are all transcient.

my buddhist influence i believe. what's important is that we are all safe and unharmed.

and whoever took my shoes, i do hope he has the initiative to remove the orthotics before he wears them or his ankles will get all screwed up.

sighs...

malaysia - part 2

kuala lumpur. malaysia's capital city.

another very very very big geylang serai.

two years had passed since my last visit. some very clear changes had taken place. lot 10 is no longer the gay center of gravity. lot 10 is now a dead place. even the cafe had moved. instead, the latest place to people (read - gay) gaze is pavilion (see picture). i also noticed a lot more middle eastern people. it is not difficult to spot them. women wearing chador (complete black overall / cloak) and the yashmak (face viel that covers the whole face less a slit for the eyes) walking with middle eastern looking gentlemen in modern day t-shirt and jeans. almost surreal at times to see so many of such contrastingly dressed couples walking altogether in a place. interesting.

and it was really nice to be able to catch up with friends - jonathan, maria... and for a short while, ben. yes, meeting up with them was the real highlight of this whole trip.

:-)

(ps: oh, maria, no, no... jonathan just reminded me that his name ends with an `an' and not `on'... heh heh)

malaysia - part 1

melaka. heritage city.

nice place. slow pace. very malay. very relak relak. and it reminded me of a very big geylang serai. but this observation itself was rather ironic cos to me, melaka has all along been a nonya (peranakan - straits-born chinese) place. in fact, more peranakan than malay in many aspects. the people, the culture, and for that matter the feel of the whole place. this feel has somehow disappeared and it has since become more malay instead. and the nonya parts of it seemed to have been lost. even at the jonkers street food stalls, the nonya restuarants, etc. we visited them and were attended by malays instead! (we were of cos told that the bosses are chinese/ babas and have chosen not to be present at the stalls/ shops). and for that matter, even the malays seemed to be non-locals (think they are more indonesians)!

two days of aimless wondering around the whole place. lots of shopping and bowling - yes, bowling! this was perhaps my second attempt at bowling. and i quite enjoyed it. somehow, being in a faraway place gives me the guts and the dare the try things.

and of cos, the two days in melaka was nothing but pure indulgence in food.

:-)

robbed in malaysia

just reached home and before i even start to blog about the trip, i feel very strongly that i have to get this recorded in my blog first!

we were robbed along the north-south highway in malaysia on our way home!

this was what happened... we (bee, schneider, damien and i) decided to stop by ayer keroh - one of the rest area - along the highway for lunch. left the place less than half hour later. at the next rest area (pagoh), i realised my car boot had been pried open and that all our luggages had been stolen.

regretful end to our otherwise rather nice trip to malaysia.

ya, malaysia boleh... boleh hilang barang barang!

wtf!

holiday

summer holiday (by cliff richard)
we are all going on a summer holiday
no more working for a week or two
fun & laughter on our summer holiday
no more worries for me & you
for a week or two

we are going where the sun shines brightly
we are going where the sea is blue
we have all seen it in the movies
now let´s see if it is true

everybody has a summer holiday
doing things they always wanted to
so we are going on a summer holiday
to make our dreams come true
for me & you

well, this song always plays in my head whenever i head out for a holiday or go for a long drive out of/ outside singapore such as when i drive on highways in states.

and it is no different today!

:-)

sugar daddy

someone i spoke to at the pool today asked me if i had considered being a sugar daddy... i said no flatly. and i asked him why... and he replied that he is looking for one - a sugar daddy to pamper him and to spoil him - considering the fact that he is currently a young nus (uni) undergrad and is broke (like most undergrads).

and he told me that me, being 42 and he, 21, would fit the criteria of being his sugar daddy very nicely.

i wasn't sure if i should feel flattered or depressed....

haha...

mourning - yet again

was supposed to attend a talk with lay pheng and friends at bright hill temple this evening. but i have to change plans last minute. the story goes as follows...

as i drove my mum today to have her hair permed, she told me that i am technically still in mourning and that i should not be visiting temples until 100 days passed my dad's demise. kinda confused. i thought i was out of mourning? i thought the whole thing ended at the 7x7 weeks? so i probed... and understood that the whole thing was due to my aunt's prodding (no surprise)... and that she had told my brother that we should continue to mourn till 100 days... la la la... and that she had also asked for details of the funeral accounts again... la la la...

frankly, i am a little frustrated by her meddling into my family affairs again and again. i had to keep my cool. but being a bit of a bitch myself, i questioned my mum for details as to why should i still be mourning, knowing jolly well that she wouldn't have a good answer. true enough, my mum couldn't answer. she said something along the lines of being afraid that i would `chiong' (as in clash with the spirits) with the gods if i visit the temple... funny. if the gods are so benevolent, as they are known to be, then why chiong with a lowly human being like me. so, to me, this argument doesn't make sense...

but well, i reckon i shouldn't be bitching my mum. it's not her fault. so, for now, i will give the talk a miss. better be safe (am not one to mess around with such unexplainable things anyway). and if it allays my mum's worries, so be it... and looking on the bright side, it gives me time to pack my stuff for my trip and of cos to relax a bit and spent time with sapphie my dog.

unforgiven

brought sapphie to the cafe this afternoon and bumped into james' (my ex) (best) friend dominic. he came up to me, said hi, and made some passing remark about me bringing sapphie there... rather awkward for me. for that very moment, i didn't know how to respond to him. i just muttered `ya, ya... brought sapphie to the cafe'... i was cold, i did not give him much attention, for that matter, i simply ignored him after my few words... i think he sensed his unwelcome and walked away. quietly. i did not even say goodbye to him.

for that very split second, i was rather affected... seemed like the past just descended upon me. very sudden. and very overwhelming. there was also a lot of mixed emotions. just did not know how and where to place the feeling. anyway, once the moment passed, it became clear to me that despite the time lapse of 3 years, i have not been able to forgive him. i have not been able to let my anger go.

singapore flyer

finally did wat i had wanted to do for a long time... i brought mum up the singapore flyer! and the maid came along too, and becos she had to push my mum's wheelchair, she boarded the flyer for free! it was rather slow and uneventful actually. but since i am a sucker for satellite imagery, air photographs, map-reading and everything associated with bird's eye view of stuffs... i thoroughly enjoyed it. and of cos, so did mum and the maid.

nothing beats starting my break with my mum and be a tourist in my own country! so today, it was the singapore flyer followed by a good hearty meal... char kuay teow, satay, oh-tah... simple fare and simple programme. but for my mum who has always been cooped up in the house and who would always refuse to leave the house becos of her knee pain, i would say this trip was really a good break for her! and of cos, not to mention, the maid - this being her first outing to a tourist place since coming to singapore 2 months back!

heh...

:-)

extension of service

my hr got back to me today. apparently, it took so long cos there was some huge complications at hq due to the fact that i am gay. i assumed therefore that there had been quite a bit of discussions between the hr and the security people and that they had deliberated as to the implications if they were to allow me to extend my service and the implications if they don't...

anyway, got news from my hr today that hq is ok for me to extend my service. so, once all the paper work is done, i should be leaving 1 aug 09. really hope things will be smooth for me and that i do not get any nonsense from them.

for now, i will go for my break!

break

am officially on leave now! and i will be off for a break to melaka and kl this weekend till wed! so looking forward to it! need a break from this crazy pace!

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...........

minesweeper

i used to play minesweeper a lot when it first became popular some years back.

and i must say that i am rather amused by this picture.

:-)

self-confidence

self-confidence | self-delusion

... such a fine line between them ...

:-)

what's real, what's not

was walking along orchard road yesterday and chanced upon 2 gaymen. their dressing was nothing short of drama, complete with hats and all and i thought they looked rather over-dressed. they looked 30 plus to me. but bee told me they are no more than in their mid-twenties... or at most late 20s. this led us to the following and i thought it was rather funny.

if you are in your:

• 20s and look like you are in your 20s, you are... well, to be expected i guess.
• 30s and look like you are in your 30s, you are... well, see above... no surprise!
• 20s but look like you are in your 30s, it is quite regrettable. guess some of us just don't have all the luck... then again, looking mature may have it's advantage especially when it comes to work.
  
• 30s but look like you are in your 20s, well done!
  
• 20s but look like you are in your 30s and trying to dress up to look like you are in your 20s, then i think it is rather ultimate lor...

just thinking aloud... and i am so so sure some people will kill me for this post!

:-)

routine weekend

decided to put some focus on amending my paper over the weekend. managed to finally complete more than 3/4 of what i am supposed to do. a bit more touch up here and there and i should be able to sent it to my supervisor this coming week. and i will try to do so by tue latest! other than this `homework', i was able to steal sometime with friends too. was able to meet up with schneider, kok, lp, lk, kane aka raymond and bee for drinks last evening. nothing special. nothing pre-planned. just a carefree and easy saturday evening (well, other than the part where lk made us all a little embarrassed by being insistent that the hostess leave her tray alone). and this afternoon, schneider, damien, bee and i went for a picnic at botanic gardens. we brought sapphie along. we went shopping at taka in the evening.

reflecting, i think the weekend was rather routine. nothing much other than homework and blanking off with friends. but i do think spending such time (which i would call quality time) with bee and friends makes life very meaningful.

:-)

dad's birthday

while driving to the pool for a swim yesterday, i received an sms from my sis - "today is dad's birthday". i thought it was real sweet of her to remember him on his birthday considering that, until today, she has still not come to terms with how my dad had (mis)treated her when she was young.

anyway, 3 oct 1933 was the date my grandma registered for my dad as his birthday. she had to post-date the birth-date when she registered for citizenship to cover up the fact that she had smuggled him into singapore sometime in mid-1933. this date had become his official birth-date since. so, every official documents of my dad had reflected him as a year younger than he actually was.

3 oct 33 became the day where we would celebrate his birthday yearly until his demise two months ago. nonetheless, we had always accepted that his actual birth-date was (in terms of lunar calender) - year of the monkey, 10th day of the 10th lunar month. and this worked out to 7 nov 1932. we only came to know about it when we did some research so that his tombstone could capture the correct date of birth. anyway, all these does not matter anymore. what's important is that we remember him and keep him in our hearts.

pale-in

from yahoo news:

"... the performance by palin, the first time alaska governor plucked from obscurity by mccain in late august to be his running mate, will have thrilled the party's conservative case, following days of concern over her ability... president george w. bush tuned out the vice presidential debate after the first half, but came away impressed with his fellow republican... "he thought it was a good debate. he thought governor palin did very well,"..."

i hope this thought of bush was not a reflection of his own intellect and abilities too... or maybe it was... hmmm...

anyway, always thought it is very ironic that world politics is shaped by people of a superpower who might not necessarily be in the know of what's happening in the world. (just look at sarah palin)... stretching this thought, what's happening to the lives and death of many people around the world - in iraq, north korea, and so on... is a result the vote of some housewife sitting in the kitchen somewhere in an obscure corner of the states... and who might be more interested in something as basic as food and shelter over her head.

sighs... wtf!

damned!

today (technically it was yesterday since it's after midnight)... i went back to office after a 6-day break... my work pants felt tighter. damn it, confirmed. i've gotten fatter again. i went for my lunch and met my hr manager. the first words she exclaimed were: "what happened! you've got fatter!!!"... damn it.

i got home after work, and i brought sapphie my dog for a walk... after a short while, she started panting. she seemed slower these two days. i looked at her again and yes, my dog has also gotten fatter... i thought about it... and i realized that every living thing residing in my humble home has gotten fatter... me, my dog, my fishes... even bee bee... argh!!!

damn it! damn it! damn it!

:-)

hiromi iwasaki

i am so happy to be able to find some video clips of my favourite singer - hiromi iwasaki. used to listen to all her songs when i was in secondary school! i could even sing her songs (altho i did not even know what they mean - and i still don't... altho i could still sing! haha)!

and this was my all time favourite - sumire-iro no namida!

lyrics of sumire-iro no namida
sumirette sumirette
buruuna koibito dooshiga (blue)
kisu shite kisu shite (kiss)
umareta hana dato omou no
sabishikatta kara anata wo ai shite
sabishikatta kara anata wo nikunda
sabishikatta kara anata ni sayonara wo
soshite hito tsubu sumire iro no namida

sumirette sumirette
anata to watashi no ao zameta
kokoro ga kokoro ga
saka seta hana dato omou no
sabishikatta kara anata wo ai shite
sabishikatta kara anata wo nikunda
sabishikatta kara anata ni sayonara wo
soshite hito tsubu sumire iro no namida
soshite hito tsubu sumire iro no namida