was watching tv with my mum in the evening when she suddenly moved forward and looked towards the direction of the block facing mine. she has consistently been wary of the unit facing mine as their living lights would be switched on until 3-4am. and knowing what she was doing, i simply asked her whether she's looking at that unit.
she said yes and gave me this weird look. i knew what was on her mind and simply told her that the lights were switched on and most likely the owners of the unit work late and that is why their unit lights were left on until late nightly. when i told her that, she stared at me and told me - no, they are all bad people.
i knew right then that it was her paranoia acting up again. i simply assured her that there is nothing wrong with them and at most, we should just lock our doors and windows. she didn't take my remark well and chided me. and added that is not that only unit with the lights switch on till late. in fact, there were many units! she might not have finished the last sentence, but what i was hearing was - there were many many bad people!
i told her that if she's that worried, i might as well sell off the house and we move away. but added that even then, it would not solve the problem becos many people sleep late. she looked at me with a very unhappy-wtf look at just refocus her attention onto the tv.
heh heh... this is a paranoid person. just need to get used to it and manage it when it happens.
I think you should try a little bit of reverse psychology once in a while.
ReplyDeleteThe next time she tells you the unit across you has "bad" people in it, you say: "Oh, you are so wrong... That unit is full of good people... it's in this unit that there are bad people."
Then you look at her with a crazy, demented look and then start laughing and giggling to yourself and roll your eyes so only the white of your eyes show.
Then for special effect, you can beat your chest next like Tarzan and shout "I'm the king of the world!"
Cackle like an evil witch next.
Watch her reaction and see if she pulls such a stunt again.
If nothing else, this will provide you with a little release and fun from the constant stress you get from her.
hey river,
ReplyDeletethanks for the suggestion.
i have learnt from experience that one should never respond in the way you described. to us, some of the things they see/ hear may sound illogical to us, but to them, the sense of danger they experience is very real. if you respond in the manner you've suggested, you will definitely get a very negative outcome. some of the outcomes you will get from them could include disappointment, depression or possibly anxiety. when they do so, it becomes more difficult to manage them. often a times, they will stop verbalising their thoughts and you have to start second guessing the reasons when they start to behave negatively. when this happen, you end up with a negative reinforcing cycle and that becomes dangerous.
admittedly, i have tried some form of mind games, reverse psychology, etc. they do not work often a times, especially if the response is a dramatic one like the way you have suggested. what i find more effective is to response calmly and in a very sensitive and assuring manner. this will calm her down and things will become normal again when the paranoia passes.
and yes, you are absolutely right that it is stressful to me as the caregiver. but i have learned how to identify the signs, and when it happens, i am able to manage it accordingly. but of course, once a while, i will simply walk away when i feel any negativity build up in me.
have a great week ahead.
jeffrey
by the way, to your suggestion, and i quote "you say: "Oh, you are so wrong... That unit is full of good people... it's in this unit that there are bad people.""
ReplyDeleteshe believes there are bad people everywhere, including me and my maid. by saying the unit if full of good people, i can assure you it will create mental turbulence for her cos her logic will be - how would you know unless you have been there and are in cahoots with them.
something like this happened 2 years ago and she wanted to run away from the house to escape the danger/ threat (perceived no less), but because she was not very mobile, it was really terrible experience for her. just imagine yourself in her shoes - being fearful, wanting to take flight but couldn't.
:-)