i was feeling rather down and pissed after bee's call about the last minute arrangement to go overseas (yes, bangkok again) when mum called me. it was about 5.15pm and she asked if i am heading home yet and claimed she was hungry.
naturally, i packed up quickly and got home in no time.
and once i reached home, she seemed unhappy and asked me why i came home so late. i was a little surprised by this question. i usually knock off about 5.45-6pm and would arrive home 6-ish but it was not even close to 6pm when i reach home. i simply told her i had not knocked off and she said something like this...
someone told me your office worked half-day today.
so how come you are not home yet.
so how come you are not home yet.
this feedback got me all flustered. once again, there is the "someone" that tells her about me. i asked who this someone was, and she said she did not know, but insisted that this someone is telling her the truth. but as i demanded to know who this someone was, she changed her lines and simply said she was merely asking if my office practices half-day work today given that tomorrow is deepavali.
i was so totally pissed off. both bee's last minute overseas trip and mum's behaviour spoiled my day thoroughly. i was in no mood to make dinner and brought her out instead. and as i did so, i reflected on the incident. and it struck me, could she be hearing voices in her head?
i don't know. i just want to sleep now.
relax...good night,sleep tight :-)
ReplyDeleteYou have challenging circumstances and you are very patient when dealing with these situations.
ReplyDeleteWhile i'm in no position to decide if what you did was the best under the circumstances, perhaps you can take comfort in the fact that in life, there can be choices.
You can play nice so as to maintain peace and harmony, or you can decide that short term sharp pain is preferable to a long term dull ache.
I'm a confrontational person, and given your circumstances, i'll diffuse the pain around me instead of internalising it.
You'll probably think i'm being bigoted and argumentative, but in circumstances such as yours, i'll confront your "bee" about his true agenda and i'll also give your mother a piece of my mind, mother or no mother.
You'll dislike my opinion, of course, and you'll prefer to have your regular readers make sympathetic clucking sounds, as they are wont to do.
But this is my opinion and even if you do not see the truth and wisdom in it, perhaps you may eventually, a long time from now.
Nevertheless, you have great strength and patience, and under the circumstances, you're doing really well.
I wish you courage and wisdom.
thanks arvind.
ReplyDeletethanks river for sharing your thoughts.
ReplyDeletei supposed we are at different ends of the thinking-feeling continuum when it comes to decision-making. and thus, would probably place different criteria as priorities when it comes to making such decisions.
but yes, thanks for sharing your perspective of things. and also for the wishes of courage and wisdom.
really appreciate it.