deal's off

yup, the offer that came in didn't work out.

i got an sms from the hiring manager this afternoon that he couldn't get approval to recruit me. i was totally speechless. for a while, i thought he was testing me and wanted to use that as a preamble before negotiating the package. after all, both he and his boss had interviewed me, put me through an external agency leadership competency assessment, wrote an email to me to formally make a offer, short of a package and the comp and ben staff had also linked up with me to request for payslips etc as proof of my current package. it was all so obstacle-free (other than the fact that the whole process was long and the wait was tiring). 

i didn't know how to react. i had told my boss about the possible offer. i had, for that matter, just spoken with him again about it this morning. and my previous chief had called me to check on the progress and she had expressed her well wishes and congratulated me, saying how smooth things had been, etc. and news had spread quite a bit about my impending departure.

and then this. but once the initial shock left, i felt a deep sense of disappointment. i spoke with my previous head who now is handling a project for them and he was furious about this outcome too. he learned that they had proceeded with the whole recruitment process without first getting top management approval for the headcount, something they should do given that the grade they were proposing for me was a senior grade. i can understand all the issues and the lack of adherence to protocol but i cannot accept. this is the hr department that i am talking about! how can the hr department commit such a basic mistake? it doesn't reflect well on them.

well, i must say i am rather numb now. numb for the fact that this whole process had been long drawn and very emotionally draining. the process was full of positivity yet intersperse with long silence.  and then this outcome. simply cannot accept. but well, i have to move on. life's like that i supposed. this is the second time such a crazy thing happened to me. first was two years ago when i was made to wait 8 months for a job after all the positive signals and endorsement up to the incoming ceo of a big company. but was told they would be using an internal candidate eventually. and i understand this to be a case of them giving in to the views of the outgoing ceo. politics. sighs.

i really am not looking towards managing my office staff now. i just want to take a good rest over this long weekend. monday is a public holiday here and it helps provide me that extra time to just cool off and blank off. 

but for now, i just wanna sleep.