exhausting day

the day started with me sending mum to the singapore general hospital specialist clinic for her throat check-up as a follow-up from her previous hospitalization. and it ended with me sending her to the changi general hospital accident and emergency department for breathlessness... and as it is now, i feel very exhausted. 

and the key reason why she was breathless this evening was, i suspect, because i chided her for repeating non-stop about the need to save money... brought her for dinner, she said, don't eat this, or don't eat that, too expensive... and when i asked her what she wanted, she said you decide. and when i decided finally to buy hor fun, she went on again about having expensive dinners... you cannot spend cos you are not working she repeated, once again... i felt one helluva exasperated by her repeated reminders over the last 2 months. and after dinner, i suggested heading to the shopping mall to stroll, she needed it to air her lungs. and she went on again, no no, don't go shopping mall, car petrol very expensive! jeeez... and i was thinking of bringing her to the mall that was located near my place! stop repeating about saving money! i half-raised my voice at the zichar store. and i kept quiet after that, and she noted my displeasure. we proceeded with the walk at the mall.

once we arrived home, she went to bed and i gave her her medication and put her on her usual oxygen for the night. some 20min later, i asked if she felt better, and she said no, to which i decided to give her her nebulizer. that was when she started howling... i couldn't breath, i couldn't breath, she howled... i decided to call the ambulance, and she screamed out against it. yet, she went on i couldn't breath, i couldn't breath! that was when i lost my cool, told her i will ignore her refusal and just call for the ambulance... and she went on howling and howling non-stop. worst of all, when i finally told her i had called the ambulance, she struggled to look for her hand bag. and when i picked it up and passed it to her, she said she wanted to give her money to me so that i could pay for the ambulance...

i blew my top! i can manage my finances! damned it... and stop pushing your own money to me! here you are about to die of breathlessness and you still want to push money to me! damned it! well, to cut the long story short, ever since i stopped work, she had been going on and on non-stop about not spending excessively. well, her intentions was good, but she went on and went about it non-stop day in and day out, it really drove me crazy. and everyday, she would take out her money to pay for anything that i buy! darned! i had told her repeatedly not to do it. it made totally no freaking sense to do it cos her money was what i had given her mostly!

ok, this whole post is sounding a tat illogical. but yup, when something is repeated non-stop for 2 months, one can get crazy! and when i finally screamed this evening after her total abnormal behaviour today, she hyperventilate...

and that was how she landed in the hospital again this evening...