sex at 40s

this post is dedicated and in response to a blog follower of mine who has been asking me about sex for men in their 40s... and in the post on hitting 40s, i could almost feel his frustrations in his comment. make me feel bad only. ok, ok, so here's some sharing about the 40-plus men and sex. and i must first qualify here ok? this post is meant to educate and not to titillate. and of cos, i do want to qualify here that this is

• not about me although i can attest to some of the experiences (heh heh), 
• not about all men in their 40s (cos i certainly cannot generalize right?) but having said that, i think it should be relatively accurate as a description for men in their 40s who have been able to accept their sexuality and are at peace with it, 
• for some parts, about men who are generally no longer closeted and are comfortable with his sexuality (straight or otherwise) and 
• wherever possible, the writings are to be read from an angle of relativity of one age group vs another age group... 

and if you are still with me after all the boring qualifiers, read on...

firstly, lust is lust & love is love. the men in 40s can better distinguish between lust and love and thus, can separate sex as an extension of love, vs sex as a need/ a basic human instinct. this is so different from a younger person (or a gay men who has just come out) where sex/ lust is usually mistaken and misinterpreted as love. and often, this is very confusing to a person who is coming out and that can cause a lot a lot of heartaches - imagine, one who sees sex as a basic instinct having an ons with another who mistaken sex as love. sounds familiar? so, perhaps that is why gay men in their 40s tend to be more stable vs a younger person who has a higher tendency to fall in love after having sex.

secondly, sex gets sexier. to the men in 40s, with the clarity of what is lust vs love, sex gets sexier to the people he gets himself involved with. that is becos he now do not see sex as merely an momentary act of intense stimulation leading to orgasm. the definition of sex has been expanded from a event to achieve orgasm to that of a holistic experience. sex is a process that involves communications, romance, foreplay, the arousal etc. and this probably are the reasons why some people say men in their 40s (aka mature men) are hot!?

thirdly, sex is sex is sex. that is, in the physical sense, the act of sex is the same, regardless of whether a person is in his 20s or 30s or 40s or for that matter 70s. yup, 70s. it involves the stimulation of the sexual organ aka penis aka cock etc. and with sufficient stimulation comes the orgasm. and of cos, where male orgasm is concerned, it involved the ejaculation of the sperm. the key difference between a younger and older person (20 vs 40 or 40 vs 70) is that the younger person will (1) take faster to orgasm than the older person, (2) the intensity of the orgasm aka the shooting of the ejaculate tend to be stronger in the younger person vs that of the older person, (3) the quality of the sperm decreases with age, and (4) the consistency of the ejaculate is possibly less thick for older men. well, well... see how i can make the paragraph sound so clinical? hahaha... in another words, younger can cum faster and shoot further than the older person.

fourthly, he can still be horny. the younger person generally has a higher and more active hormonal system compared to the older person. as such, the younger person tend to have a higher sex drive compared to the older person. accordingly, in a human life cycle, the hormonal cycle is such that a person's hormonal development peaks in his 20s and starts declining when he enters his 30s. some men experience a stage where his body experience flushes in his 40s, sex drive decreases, sperm production drops, and the body get more lethargic, gains weight, etc. this is the andropause stage, a stage similar to that of a woman's menopause. this is largely due to a decrease in testosterone production. in another words, a person's horniness starts about the time he hits puberty and increases through his life and peaks in his late 20s. after that, his horniness decreases with age... but the key word here is - he is still capable of being horny and can still father a child, even at 70!

and of cos, to your last question, does a person's cock change shape at 40s (or older). let me put it this way, to maintain a functional cock, exercise it well. in another word, anything that is not used will wither. it is the same for any part of a person's body. the brain, the muscles, etc... so, if you want your cock to look and continue to work well, work it out man! and so, to the question on whether the cock size decreases with age, my answer is "no". go read up wikipedia too... and of cos, in this link, you can get loads of pictures of the penis, even picture of a 64 year old one as well as an animated one that shows the arousal process.

ok, i hope i have answered all the questions asked... but of cos, i think i might have made it sound so clinical for many parts of it, you can hardly get a hard on when you read this post... then again as i have stated at the start of my post... my intent of this post is to educate, not titillate.

:-)