perspective - non-self

"whether it is a good day or a bad day, it is still a day. nothing has changed. but what makes it good or bad is your mind." i read something to that effect in a facebook pic posted by a friend of mine this morning as i was drinking my kopi-o and i smiled. yup. it is all in the mind. and then it reminded me of a comment i got from an anonymous person in my post of wild fire this morning. 

that person (i assume it was a "he") commented that from my post, i seemed to "think highly about myself". i must admit that initially, i felt a little disturbed by this comment. disturbed for the fact that i had, in my writings, projected an image that i am a proud person (in a negative way) and perhaps liked to brag about it. to read something like this at 5-ish in the morning was a tat too much for me and it kept me awake for a long while. how should i respond? should i defend myself? should i chide the person? or should i hope that some of my friends who had known me long enough to defend me? some of these thoughts went through my head at that early hour of the morning. i felt disturbed because i have never ever thought of wanting to brag. in fact, that was the last thing on my mind and i was simply journaling what i had experienced. and certainly, bragging is the last thing on my mind. it was just not me to do so. conversely, i do think i have a self-confidence issue. admittedly, deep inside me, i do think i am a very insecure person who lacks confidence in myself. and as a result, i always end up being subjected to a lot of verbal abuse by people around me and/ or people taking me for granted... this is something i am still trying to reconcile after so long...

but i decided ultimately to just brush it (the comment) off. everyone is entitled to his/ her views. and the fact that he shared it with me, i should and must thank that person for telling me about it. i should and must take this as a feedback to make me more conscious about myself. self-consciousness and self-awareness is the start to self-improvement. taking it as an attack is not gonna be useful and i would simply be a victim of self-ego. non-self, i reminded myself. and so back to the fb posting by my friend. yes, a day is a day, it is how you make of it. and in a similar sense, a comment is a comment. it is how i make it to be. and in the case of my blog entry, it is a valuable feedback to remind myself to be more careful about my writings.  

and as i drank my kopi-o, i mentally thanked the person again who made that comment.