coming out to an old friend

went for lunch with an old friend, someone who served in the same unit as me during our nsf days. i believe he had always suspected me but i see no need to confirm or deny it. he didn't ask, and i didn't see the need to tell. as for me, i know he is gay all these while. then again, as i said, it is not important.  anyway, recently decided to come out to him. no reasons at all, just thought it is something nice to do in view of our quarter-decade old friendship. and so, i dropped him a mail with my blog url recently. but as fate would have it, he couldn't access it as he is currently based in china. and i left it as that. and last week, i was so surprise to receive an sms from him asking to meet up for a meal over the weekend.

we met eventually and from the way he reached out and gave me a hug, i knew he knew. well... other than that we did not speak too much about our sexuality. we went for lunch, and we chatted... and we went for coffee after lunch. and that was where he asked this interesting question about whether i am married la la la... i played along... no i am not, i replied. i see no point in a piece of paper. whoever we are with, what is important is that we are happy... and the conversation dragged on. and he asked if i found someone who can take care of me and vice versa, i said yes and he asked to see the photo... that was when i showed him bee's photo. well, that was how i came out to him. and we just chatted on and on and i in turn asked him if he found someone who could take care of him and vice versa... he told me he wanted to keep it a secret. 

haha... ya right, i thought. if i were to get this response say 10-15 years ago, i would probably feel slighted and unhappy. unfair, i would have thought. but these days, i am beyond such emotions. if i tell or do something to you, i do not expect a response in kind. give unconditionally. and so i just smiled and carried on with other topics. and as i drove him to his final destination, he finally came out to me. i am very happy to hear he is attached and very well settled in china. he has found his partner and his life. no stress from his singapore family. no stress from 377a and the need to conform...

:-)